Archvile

this is archvile, what a piece of crap

so one day I was playing Doom II and this guy came and literally put me on fire and I died. fuck you archvile.

how did it happen

i was about to beat this motherfucker and pick up the yellow key, but no, this skeleton idiot said "grlloooooooooooo" and put me on fire and I lost 50% of my health. idiot idiot idiot! this skeleton larry shit peicea. hes Rick and mort at the same time. Potato Potato Potato! like, does this archive person even eat something, he is literally a skeleton. ISOOO!

i hate archvile

archvile? more like archEVIL. he is evil. very evil. if I was so evil, my mom would pick up a tractor and run over me with it. i love tractors. tractors are the best vehicles since the creation of tractors. very cool. i like tractors. but i hate archvile. I was so close to beating the fucking map, but no, this shit had to just kill me with his overpowered power. what a bastard.

if he kills me again

if he kills me again, i am going to rob his house and his shed. he is an useless idiot who just sits there and kills innocent players. like can I beat the game, please? no, he says and then proceeds to do himself a favor before killing me with his fire powers. he is literally worser than then a person with 90 iq minus 90 iq. ahahaa you get it like 0 iq. yeah. archvile is very stupid. i really hate archvile. I hope that one day I will be able to push him down the Empire State Building because he does not deserve anything different, except maybe an electric chair.

so this guy is unbearable

as soon as I touched the fucking yellow key, here he is, the archshite! appearing from absolutely nowhere, exiting from my walls after so long. what a piece of shit. and then he kills me like I am a Jew and this is 1942. woah, that is rhyming. more like 1984! he really do belongs (does belong, whatever, I wouldn't be playing Doom if I was good at schoolies) in the animal farm though, not gonna lie. what a fnurdletoot.

judy, look at this bastard

yeah, my dear friendess mr. Judy just looked at this bastard and was like "are you seriously jerking on this?" I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "ok this is getting stupid" and then she said "yes" and then I smacked her and she fell down on the floor. I am blaming archvile for this because he makes me very very violent. what a piece of crap.

now we are arguing

judy doesn't take any of my arguments now and she is constantly trying to frame me at about 60 FPS because I am "lying". what a lie that is. and then, I, of course said "no, I didn't lie" and and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "no" and then she said "yes" and then I said "ok this is getting stupid" and then she said "yes" and then I smacked her once again and killed her right on the spot. I have decided. I am becoming archvile.

i am archvile

I have finally decided. I am above everybody else. I am the best. George Best. I am the archvile. I use Arch, btw. so when people ask "who is Archvile", i will happily announce "YEAH, I AM ARCHVILE! GRLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" and then put them on fire. I have already started a diet of not eating anything in order to be as close as I can to archvile. I am also peeling off my skin. yes, here we go. I am archvile. no, THE archvile! Muahahahaha!

day 1 of being archvile

today my grandma came to a dinner and I locked her into the wardrobe and then I lit it on fire. my grandma died and I won't appear at the funeral. muahahahaha!

day 2 of being archvile

today I walked to buy some plastic forks at the shop and some kids were waiting in front of me so I lit them on fire and ran out without paying. muahahahaha!

day 3 of being archvile

today the police hunted me down and now I am in jail. not so muahahahaha. anyway, I will be in jail for like 10 years and then I am getting out.

day 1 of not being archvile anymore

today archvile came from the sewer down there in the "pigsty", as we call it, that's where we eat. yeah, the toilet. yes, we are pooping in sewers. life is hard. anyway, he lit my bed on fire and now I have to sleep on the floor. I hate archvile. he is such an idiot. I hope you die, archvile. you are such a bully.

he is a bully

what a bully he is. he is like constantly putting me on fire. what would happen if I put YOU on fire instead? piece of shit. you would turn into dust. and then into gunpowder. and then into explosion! yes, explosion!
BANG!
fuck you archvile, good night and sleep tight! and let the bees eat you alive too.