Doom
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The official website... of doom!
You are DOOMED! HA HA HA HA HA!
Surely, that which has no end is always contained within the multiverse... or is it?
VANDAL! That had nothing to do with doom! Stop editing my article... of doom!
Thus die I, thus, thus, thus...
The nature of Doom[edit | edit source]
Doom is the most hardcore video game ever made. Doom will stroll right into your house, wreck your shit up, have sex with your girlfriend, and then strut out like a pimp.
Doom is also a murder simulator, which is pretty cool when you think about it.
Episodes in the Doom franchise[edit | edit source]
- Doom: Knee Deep in Debt
- Doom: The Shoes of Hell
- Doom: Disco Inferno
- Doom: Thy Food Consumed
- Doom 2: A Puzzle of Flesh
- Doom 3: Dude, Where’s My Flashlight?
- Doom: Doom Doom Doom Doom
- Doom: Tell Me Again Why I Should Do This
The Doom Guy[edit | edit source]
Types of monsters in Doom[edit | edit source]
- Zombie Soldiers: Mostly harmless. Zombie Soldiers love to linger in the background and hurl buckets of paint at you. It’s best to just ignore them.
- Zombie Shotgunners: Fairly harmless. Zombie Shotgunners love to huff gasoline and roll around in garbage. If you shoot them with your water pistol, they will turn into doughnuts.
- Fat Zombies: Morbidly overweight, Fat Zombies hang out in dark corners and suck down cans of pig lard. They tend to move very slowly, all the while grunting and gasping for air.
- Zombie Chaingunners: Skinnier than a Fat Zombie, but still morbidly obsess. Zombie Chaingunners love to hit it and quit it.
- Imps: Bigger than a microwave but smaller than a barnburner. Imps love to play baseball. Expect them to be drunk and disorderly.
- Demons: About the same size as a refrigerator. Demons love to suck on sticks of dynamite and watch Sarah Silverman do comedy routines.
- Cacodemons: Large and orange floating pumpkin-like creatures. Cacodemons spend all day watching cartoons and smoking meth.
- Lost Souls: [Insert humorous text here.]
- Hell Knights: Hell Knights own property in Europe and snort lots of crystal meth.
- Barons of Hell: Being a baron, you would think that they would be classy, like something out of Downton Abbey. You would be wrong.
- Cyberdemons: Lethal. Say your prayers because you’re gonna die. It was nice knowing you, Doom Guy.
External Links[edit | edit source]
See also[edit | edit source]
