Death by sparrow

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~ A Sparrow on the merits of its giving of death to you.

So I was, like, walking. And then I saw a little sparrow perched high up on a tree. It was very er... well... moving to see it there. Then it pooped on me. Poop, glorious poop. Ah yes.... then I realized it pooped on me. So I ran home, into my closet, punched the security number on my safe, broke my knuckles (from punching it), realized I had to press the buttons, opened the safe and took out my rifle. Then I ran outside. But by then...


But so I hunted day and night for the sparrow that made me lose my dignity!!!! and my temper, of course. Then the next day, there it was, PERCHED ON THE SAME TREE!!!!!!! Yes! I had hunted it down! I raised my hand.... and I realized I was not holding the rifle. Ah yes.

Sooo, I ran home, into my closet, punched the secur.... broke my knuckles, went to the hospital, was warded for a week, and came back home. But by then...


And now I was getting pissed... mostly at the safe this time..... THEN I SAW IT!!!!! PERCHED ON THE VERY SAME TREE!!!!!! YES!!!! I HAD HUNTED IT DOWN!!!! I raised my hand... pulled out my wallet, and made shooting noises.... Wait a minute, this ain't a gun??? What THE HELL?????? Soooo I ran home, into my closet, p... nope this time I didn't punch it. I pressed the buttons, forgot my code, spent all day opening it, finally opened the safe, took my gun and ran outside. But by then....


And so on and on and on. Until one day, it had it's back turned on me. And I had my gun. Oh, I remember that day. It was a sunny day, the sun was shining brightly, the birds were singing sweetly, especially the sparrow, so I aimed and fired. But I missed. It hit an old man on the bench and he started moaning. The sparrow was holding a stick, and as I ran towards the old guy, he dropped it on me, I tripped and got impaled on a garden hose. But what was most annoying was that...


Oh, and the sparrow was picking at my dead body. It felt funny. Then I realized that it was picking at my body.

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