IllogiNews:Man Dies

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

Randomtown, US

Today a man by the name of John Smith died today of an apparent heart attack. Authorities found him dead this morning.

Wait, wait. That's it? No funny backstory? Nothing? Really? We've gotta dig some shit up on this guy. What do you mean there's nothing? Everyone's got dirt.

Well then... Umm... We... uh... believe that it is murder and the prime... uh... suspects are the Big Mac and the Whopper.

You know what? Who really gives a fuck? This guy just died. No one cares. Not even his family. Wait, wait. That's my brother in there?

Oh god! John!!!! John!!!! No!!!!

T3canolis, IllogiNews

This article is part of the

Canned DeathDeadDeadnessDeathDeath by sparrowDeath by toasterDeath CheeseDiedDyingEverybody will die.Holy Hand Grenade of AntiochHow to be only slightly deadHow to dieI'm dying!IllogiNews:Death is imminent, one study showsIllogiNews:Man DiesKillKilldèList of Dead PeopleList of Reasons Not To Kill You In Cold Blood Right Where You StandLuck of the IrishNew DeathNoodle of deathPainful deathPeople who are deadSpontaneous Combustion THE CURSED WIKI ARTICLEThe fly's deadThe gnomes plotting your deathThe hex code of deathThe Ultimate Destructo Death MachineThere is a killer in your houseThis article causes deathTop 10 ways to dieTop Ten Places to DieWave of babies10099 Red Balloons     Add >>>