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TIRED OF HAVING TO WAIT UNTIL YOU DIE???
Yeah, me too.
BUT NOW! NO LONGER WAIT!
Instructions[edit | edit source]
- Buy the can! Of death! 99% low-fat!
- Buy the can opener! Preferrably of death!
- Place the can opener (of death) onto the can (of death) in such a way that the can opener (of death) is able to open the can (of death).
- Push down on the handle! (of death)
- Keep rotating the can until finally you hear this scratchy sound. Or even souls howling from inside the can.
- ARE YOU READY? No. Death is unexpected.
- Now touch the lid. Watch out. For if you touch inside the lid, you die. Unless you want to die.
- Clutch the lid. Watch out. For if you clutch inside the lid, you die. Unless you want to die.
- Pull the lid off, and watch as Death emerges to steal your soul. If he doesn't, be patient. He has a ton of other souls to steal too, you know?
- Wait under a staircase.
- Get someone to throw the can onto your head.
- Hopefully Die.
EXPERIENCE IT FIRSTHAND TODAY!