War on Terror
The War on Terror is the 2001 initiative by President George Dubya Bush to defeat Muslim
extremists across the globe. Bush outlined the War as "A way to spend taxpayer money to defeat some radicals". Not to mention, free ice cream. Bush said that the war would not be over, until the Muslims were killed. So, he did so. In a 2001 Afghanistan bombing, Bush blew up the land since Al-Qaeda operative Big Bird blew up the World Trade Center. In 2003, Iraq was added to the blowing up thing due to the fact that Asadam Ahussen (not his real name) had WMD (Watermelons Melting Dumbbells). In 2006, Dubya decided to declare war on Iran against the will of Congress, so no American would know about it. In 2008, Dubya declared war on Awesomeland because he knew he was going to be ousted next year. Upon taking office in 2009, Lord Barry Saddam Hussein Obama Osama bin Laden Taco Salad Cheese Fat-face Lenin ended the war so he could spend American money on something more important, like cheese puffs.
September 11, 2001 Attacks[edit | edit source]
On September 10, 2001, Glenn Beck was still an alcoholic, so no one caught this one.
Rebel Alliance Al-Qaeda leader Elmo sent operative Big Bird to conduct a terrorist attack the next day. Dubya had a plan to read to propagate kids, so Elmo deemed this the time to do it. Plans were made to send hijackers to certain American commercial airline flights, to crash planes into both towers of the World Trade Center, the Pentagon (The Octagon was not as vulnerable), the White House, and Justin Bieber's house. All the needed planes were hijacked, and they went somewhere. In the wee morning, the first plane hit Tower One. People died. Then, a plane hit Tower Two some time later. Then, a plane went into a side of the Pentagon. The plane going toward the White House was steered back after some passengers took control from the hijackers. They died. Then the plane going toward Mr. Beiber's residence stopped at Subway and was taken by Elvis Presley. They died 2 days later from sub e. Coli. After the attacks, Dubya finally took a break from propagating kids to issue the following address:
“Murica, we've reached rock bottom. Hide in your bunkers. We're doomed.”
War on Afghanistan[edit | edit source]
After the press honeymoon, Dubya decided to get off the White House bowling lane and decided to do something. So, he called Colonel George Lopez and then decided to bomb Afghanistan. After this decision right before Christmas in 2001, Dubya decided to go send troops there to destroy the Taliban. They stayed there and did crap.
War on Iraq[edit | edit source]
After the Box Office flop Lilo and Stitch in 2003, Dubya in his bombing spree decided to destroy Iraq and then repaired it. Troops there were sent to destroy Osama bin Laden and that other dictator guy. While Dick Cheney was too busy shooting people while hunting, Dubya sent more and more troops on American defense spending. In 2006, the dumb dictator guy was caught, and Michael Jackson died. In 2009, Lord Barry started plans to remove U.S. forces in Iraq and in 2010 succeeded. Thus, Iraq is left to blow itself up without and form of remorse.
War on Iran[edit | edit source]
Iran decided to attempt to acquire nucklear weapons, so Dubya decided to blow them up without the American people or Congress knowing. Don't tell anyone.
War on Ipad[edit | edit source]
Dubya got bored, so he decided to declare war on the Emirate of Ipadistan
War on Awesomeland[edit | edit source]
War on Dubya[edit | edit source]
Did I say Dubya? I meant Dubai
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
After Dubya's departure from office, no war on terror has really happened. The spree has ended, and many lives lost. Now, time for a burrito.