User:Gruntled/Talk archive 01

This page exists. There's no denying it. Please refrain from politicking, dickbaggery and being kicked in your genitalia. These are all bad things, trust me. Presently not disGruntled 16:51, 19 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Will do

Also, welcome —rms talk 18:29, 19 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, and have a free smoking jacket. Presently not disGruntled 18:33, 19 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Rookie mistake

Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room (behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE") So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx": Our beginner's guide is here If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE Don't be afraid to visit us on IRC DISCORD The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn. So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera. ~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee “NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.” ~ The Illogicopedia Community on welcoming new members

Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 18:57, 19 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Holy crap, there's a welcome template? o__O

Er, I mean, hi. Or something. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100919 - 19:33 (UTC)

Push Press' to pull. Hi. Thanks. Or something. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 19:39, 19 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Buh? —rms talk 05:20, 21 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

What does 'buh' mean?! *flails* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100921 - 20:17 (UTC)

Specific Ocean

Does that mean anything to you? Does it? Does it? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100926 - 22:55 (UTC)

Oy! Oy! Oy! As the last person to make n edit around here, I'm asking you for advises. I've decided to rewrite the Uncyclopedia article on Illogicopedia, and for some reason thought it'd be a good idea to make a mascot (I don't like the current one; it's just a banana in a frock; doesn't serve my purposes at all), but I cannot think of anything illogical enough. I mean, I've got a naked lady with four arms, whiskers, a tail and a loaf of bread so far from an old forum post, but she looks waaaaay too sensicle still.

So I'm wondering if you have any ideas. Anything helps. Anything. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100928 - 23:33 (UTC)

Three oys back atcha. One thing to consider is whether the "mascot" should be a living being; maybe an inanimate object (not fruit or vegetable) could work. Perhaps something that, by definition, could not be a mascot... thinking, but can't think of anything at the moment. I will continue this pot on simmer, and get back to you if I have any ideas. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 14:42, 29 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Like a dead bird? That's literally just a dead, rotting bird? Not a zombie or anything, mind, just a dead bird rotting somewhere...? Anyhoo, thanks. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100929 - 16:10 (UTC)

Byzantine grave

I am not buried in a Byzantine grave in Palestine. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 21:09, 18 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

You're not?-- (Talk) (Contributions) 21:33, 18 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Lemon curry. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 22:19, 18 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Tasty. Like pineapples. Do you know the seeds? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101018 - 23:22 (UTC)

My cat does, and she loves them. Prepare the robots for viaduct rotation! Recently disGruntled - Exchange ideas 00:39, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

But does she smell? That only works if it's all under water, you know. We can't have the induction occur prematurely. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101019 - 01:10 (UTC)

It's a good thing I have you telling me what to do. Otherwise *shudder* who knows how far this could spread? UltraGruntled - Exchange ideas 01:23, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Indeed, it was a good idea for you to tell me to. What if you hadn't had the foresight to consider the breadth of the fibonacci expansion? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101019 - 02:15 (UTC)

Just how far are you thinking of taking the Fibonacci sequence? Because I am "down with that", so to speak. There are articles coming, in a set of five (unless you count the sixth one. I would advise against that, however, due to a disinclusion in the Whoops template. Never mind, then.) I look good in my cheerleader costume, with a five (coincidence?) day facial hair outbreak. The mustache has always existed. Man... this.... is really good... weed..... Baked, not baked, and Gruntled - Exchange ideas 02:34, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

It's kind of like a bunny, yes? Take it to the outhouse; seems the john actually has a little more built in than the average time machine. But that's... er... squishy. Damn, yeah... it... really... is. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101019 - 03:42 (UTC)

Mmm, enjoying this lemon curry. What were you guys talking about again?-- (Talk) (Contributions) 06:06, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Er... I think he got into the weed. Not sure what I was dipping into, though... frankly, I have no idea what that was all about... surely something. The meerkats are in the bag, after all. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101019 - 14:59 (UTC)

Well, that lemon curry superb. I think I may go now.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 20:28, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

How much of that damned stuff have you eaten? You'll get bladderwrack! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 20:37, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Bladderwrack? *Flails* What on earth is THAT? *Drops seventh bowl of lemon curry* I think I'll stop now...-- (Talk) (Contributions) 20:39, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

It's an infestation by small, dangerous creatures in the bladder, causing one to wrack with pain. Or maybe it's or herb... I forget which... Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 20:41, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Doesn't sound very pleasant.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 20:45, 19 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

I've had worse. Or maybe my bladder has been worse... it was reading some bad poetry, see. Had an urge to try to strangle my brain. It got as far as my colon before... well, I doubt you'd care to hear about that. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101019 - 20:51 (UTC)

George C. Scott was a meerkat. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 13:30, 20 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Serious? I thought he was a lion. Hmph.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 20:35, 20 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

When? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101020 - 21:51 (UTC)

He used to be a lion, when he was on the NASCAR circuit. Scott got trans-species surgery in 1978. The left over lion parts were used to construct the Hubble telescope. Lava flows prevented further defenestration plans, and Pol Pot was subsequently raped by dogs. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 05:35, 21 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

So that's what happened to the thing? What about all of the dust on the lens? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101021 - 22:42 (UTC)

I AM A BANANANABNA! *Sya so who!-- (Talk) (Contributions) 04:29, 22 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Cylons are coming! Crossbows will not help. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 21:40, 22 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

What about dinosaurs? Would dinosaurs help? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101023 - 01:11 (UTC)

Probably, but only if you had a time machine or cloning device.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 03:31, 23 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Press "push" to pull. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 13:40, 23 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

What if there's no push button? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101023 - 15:30 (UTC)

There is always a push button. Uh... hang on... I am told sometimes there is no push button. OK, just bypass the the chain of command and leave the mascot alone. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 04:46, 24 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Unfortunately, the folks on my end seem to disagree. The button only exists if the... quantum cockroach is still entirely alive? Eh? Am I reading this right?

Oh, deary, me... looks like the secretary may need a talking to, oh boy. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101024 - 04:57 (UTC)

You may be thinking of Schrödinger's Jesús', in which case, we're all crazy. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 05:01, 24 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Oh? Another of the assorted Jesii, come to torment me with their deductive ways? Tempt me no further, you memes, for I have a holy cowbell to guide my ladle! ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101024 - 05:12 (UTC)

Oh no, not a regular member of the order of Jesii. A Jesús' is a horse of a different color. I guess it's not so much a meme as an exit off the meme turnpike with a sign that says, "Do not pull over here to piss." Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 05:24, 24 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Oh... well, the coubell is still tingling, so... it's dangerous! Whatever it is, it's dangerous! *flails* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101024 - 05:46 (UTC)

Nice

...Pile of articles, by the way. I sort of read some of them. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101020 - 21:56 (UTC)

Thanks! Kind of you to notice and comment. It's part of my court-ordered therapy. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 05:30, 21 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Wait, therapy for what, exactly? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101021 - 22:43 (UTC)

Nothing dangerous; thought crimes against my in-laws. Buncha cracker assholes... Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 21:40, 22 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Yeah. You do good articles -- 13:39, 28 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Flingers. That's really nice of you to say. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 17:55, 29 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Scrotal misdirection

What will cure a salty prattcack? -- 15:41, 23 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

I recommend the Watcom Desmegulator 5000. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 04:46, 24 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

I've tried it. Now its covered in clotted arthropods. -- 15:08, 24 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

You can declot the arthropods with hair gel and liquid nitrogen. Remove any that don't fall off by themselves with a rock hammer. Remember to calibrate your equipment before starting. If that doesn't work, I can consult a doctor friend of mine. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 16:39, 26 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Why a dog box?

And for that matter, why a cat box?

Waaait... at box... cat litter? You mean a litter box? Is that a litter box? o__O ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101026 - 04:09 (UTC)

Right. I have a catbox at Uncyclopedia. Because I am such an enthusiast of picking up after my animals, the catbox pretty much was a done deal from the start. This box of doggie poops is special, however. It is dedicated to Evelyn The Modified Dog, who left us behind, with heavy hearts on September 2, 2009.. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 16:34, 26 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Modified? Modified how? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101026 - 22:51 (UTC)

She rolled joints for me, was the second member of my cult and she kept me exercised. She was also extremely spoiled, to the point that we gave her her own kitten. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 03:28, 28 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

How did the kitten feel about this? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101028 - 05:00 (UTC)

The cat in question, named keyboard, loved her puppyhead sooooooo much! She was the dogs constant companion, and especially loved getting her ears deep-cleaned by a relatively huge tongue. The poor thing was despondent for months after we lost Evie, and still may be missing her. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 17:58, 29 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Aww... ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101030 - 01:01 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm a sap for my animals. I'll bet you are too. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 23:11, 31 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

My animals are dead. So I got a floor fern. It died. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101101 - 06:35 (UTC)

My condolences for your animals and fern. Are you unskilled at animal husbandry, or have bad luck, or was it natural causes? Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 20:02, 1 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

My... poor fern. The animals just grew old and died... happens. The fern, on the other hand... apparently moving to a location without perpetual humidity was too much for it. Floor fern, and all. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101103 - 17:56 (UTC)

Speak-a-phoner almonds

Walnut cheese!!!

Wait, what did you say again?-- (Talk) (Contributions) 23:09, 29 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Your sense of direction astounds and coddles me. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 23:10, 31 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Yes, because I have this sign, which shows me the direction. Wait, it's a 'Give Way' sign. No matter.

Well it does, but that's why hippopotamuses are orange!-- (Talk) (Contributions) 06:22, 1 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Well reasoned and argued; advance three spaces. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 20:04, 1 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Only three?! That's a ripoff. Does this have a warranty?-- (Talk) (Contributions) 21:34, 1 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Bakerlight reference desk

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BIGGEST SHAMBLES IN THE HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION, HOW DO YOU PLEAD? -- 19:11, 1 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Uh, sure. That's fine. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 20:00, 1 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

The accused is guilty, and is subject to five years in jail! Take him away, lads!-- (Talk) (Contributions) 21:35, 1 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Z!

So THIS is where you are! Will you cut it out and come back? The place is all dusty and smelly without you. There is no dirt and there are DEFINITELY no rollers. Mordillo 15:42, 3 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Agh! But we thought we'd stolen this dog good and proper! With eggplants! Aaaah! ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101103 - 17:55 (UTC)

Hi, Dillo. Yeah, nobody messes with me here. I like it. And there are users here who actually like my, er... uhm... writing. I don't actually spend very much time here, but it's peaceful around here. While I convalesce, or whatever it is that I'm doing now, it's nice not to worry as I used to. Spike is doing a bang-up job, from what I've seen. Somebody ought to promote him as an Editor, wink wink, nudge nudge. I hope fatherhood is being easy enough on you. I guess I should say, I hope you haven't become as fucked up in the mind as I... yet, anyway. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 05:02, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Top o' the Afternoon!

Do ye care to voteth for the Article that is the cream of the crap? If so, please give me 23 pushups. If not You go to alternate dimension very well. Good day, sir.--Colonel Sanders 18:38, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

I'll get right on it... perhaps. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 18:49, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Very well, Cheers!--Colonel Sanders 18:55, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Very good voting. Now Brooke and Franklin D. Roosevelt are tied.--Colonel Sanders 20:11, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Some day I will forgive you for suggesting I read that crap. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 20:13, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Verily. They are crap. But which is more crap? I don't know. Perhaps all the entries are equally crappy.--Colonel Sanders 20:21, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

It's like a pile of crap... maybe some of it sinks and some of it floats, but the only stuff folks really notice is that that starts flying away... ~ Athyria • Lyrithya • Isarra *shifty eyes* (categorise) • (create) • (upload) • (argue) • (dream) •(talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (acronyms) • VFF • FI • IotM • AotM • TSR • OotP • GS • PR • RW • AM • WAE • QD • VFD • Vital • AfC • 500 • TLA -- 6 Novelniver 2010 - 21:15 (UTC)

Heh heh... you said poop! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 03:43, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Oh, yeah? Well you know what else I'll say?! CABBAGE! You hear me?! Cabbage! *flails* ~ Athyria • Lyrithya • Isarra *shifty eyes* (categorise) • (create) • (upload) • (argue) • (dream) •(talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (acronyms) • VFF • FI • IotM • AotM • TSR • OotP • GS • PR • RW • AM • WAE • QD • VFD • Vital • AfC • 500 • TLA -- 7 Novelniver 2010 - 03:48 (UTC)

A cult of murderous housewives on American Dad. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 03:55, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

The horror... the carroty horror... ~ Athyria • Lyrithya • Isarra *shifty eyes* (categorise) • (create) • (upload) • (argue) • (dream) •(talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (acronyms) • VFF • FI • IotM • AotM • TSR • OotP • GS • PR • RW • AM • WAE • QD • VFD • Vital • AfC • 500 • TLA -- 7 Novelniver 2010 - 16:55 (UTC)

Meh.--Colonel Sanders 16:57, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Come closer, Colonel... I have this nice shot of adrenaline waiting for you... heh heh heh... Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 18:34, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!--Colonel Sanders 18:37, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Oh, and WHOOPPEEE! And Я люблю БрукMay Soviet Russia be upon you. Not really.--Colonel Sanders 18:52, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Enjoy.

Colonel, may I get some heavy water sauce with that? Thank you in advance. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 19:07, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Of course. Man, my Russian sucks. Good day, and enjoy the chicken!--Teh Chicken Magnate, The Honorable Colonel Sanders 19:09, 7 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Why is everyone else getting chicken popcorn and not me!-- (Talk) (Contributions) 21:37, 9 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Nobody loves you. ~ Athyria • Lyrithya • Isarra *shifty eyes* (categorise) • (create) • (upload) • (argue) • (dream) •(talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (acronyms) • VFF • FI • IotM • AotM • TSR • OotP • GS • PR • RW • AM • WAE • QD • VFD • Vital • AfC • 500 • TLA -- 10 Novelniver 2010 - 01:01 (UTC)

Bats are eating your legs, secret dude. I sell insurance for that. Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 04:07, 10 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

I'll be fine, thanks. And, Athyria, some people love me! I just can't remember who they are.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 04:28, 10 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Well, I don't. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm everyone. *shifty eyes* ~ Athyria • Lyrithya • Isarra *shifty eyes* (categorise) • (create) • (upload) • (argue) • (dream) •(talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (acronyms) • VFF • FI • IotM • AotM • TSR • OotP • GS • PR • RW • AM • WAE • QD • VFD • Vital • AfC • 500 • TLA -- 10 Novelniver 2010 - 05:31 (UTC)

Shouldn't you have, like, a section on your userpage with all you IllogNews articles?

Just saying.

And walnut cheeze, also.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 21:11, 8 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Working on that as of this morning; thanks for the putsch. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 21:46, 8 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

flying turnip rape

Also, collab? -- 14:50, 16 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Perhaps... got something in mind? Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 14:52, 16 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Whatever it is, your two styles will clash. It could make a surprising result.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 19:45, 16 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Surprising will prove rather... um... not surprising. Since so much here is surprising already... >.< ~ Athyria • Lyrithya • Isarra *shifty eyes* (categorise) • (create) • (upload) • (argue) • (dream) •(talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (acronyms) • VFF • FI • IotM • AotM • TSR • OotP • GS • PR • RW • AM • WAE • QD • VFD • Vital • AfC • 500 • TLA -- 16 Novelniver 2010 - 20:32 (UTC)

I'm pretty happy to go along with whatever you throw up. Go on then, just gag with a wooden stick go on -- 20:54, 16 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

We'll see what happens, we'll see...-- (Talk) (Contributions) 21:24, 16 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

OK, I started flying turnip rape here. Wanna try each writes every other paragraph? Or sections? Or you can edit what I wrote. I'm not too attached to it. Lte me know what you thing. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 01:40, 17 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Going good, added some crap toit -- 14:51, 17 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Hmmm.. if you aren't adding any more to it that's fine. -- 18:59, 20 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

What happened?

- What happened to my talk page? Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 02:03, 24 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

I've put it here, since it got moved around and ploughed over and I didn't know what else to do with it. I'm sorry. You may want to link it appropriately, or try to get an admin to put it back, or something, but I don't even know. *emits aura of helplessness* ~ Athyria • Lyrithya • Isarra *shifty eyes* (categorise) • (create) • (upload) • (argue) • (dream) •(talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (acronyms) • VFF • FI • IotM • AotM • TSR • OotP • GS • PR • RW • AM • WAE • QD • VFD • Vital • AfC • 500 • TLA -- 25 Novelniver 2010 - 06:52 (UTC)

Thanks a lot. You rule. Not very disGruntled - Exchange ideas 18:24, 25 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)