Whale (colour)

From Illogicopedia
(Redirected from Whale (color))
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Bananastar icon.png
This article is illogical enough to have made it onto the front page.
View more featured articles     Vote for new featured articles

"I implore you, the living room must be painted rose!"
"Will that bring out the natural hues of the foliage?"
"That is not our concern, for we are colourblind."

When painting a room whale always use the other end of the brush - not the brush itself, the handle. In this way streaks of whale can be applied evenly on all the ceilings and floors.

Great Art[edit]

All great artists use whale. The great Chinese painter, Vincent Van Go, earned his chops by splashing whale onto solid objects, and then naming them, and only then hauling them into his studio and later onto the sales block. So just by walking down on alley, splashing whale on old tires, milk cartons, newspapers and all the other sorts and kinds and pieces of garbage, he'd earn a living. He would work maybe 10 minutes a week, tops, if he kept his route close to home.

Why?:Use Whale[edit]

It is a colour unfelled by the other colours, for when mixed with any other colour the result is whale. So use whale for anything that needs painting or scraping off. If you want to paint a person, do so, for whale will do nothing but improve on the situation. Can you paint something with whale and pretend it's another colour? No!! Why would you? Whale takes backseat to no colour, for it is whale, watch it spread.

Eating the colour[edit]

If someone eats whale, hurry to the outside hose and wash their face out with water and dirt. Whale will not come out with water alone, but will only attach itself to skin quicker when wet (which is why you never should swallow whale, your stomach lining will be permanently whale and even sunlight or not even starlight so clear, won't get it off. They wouldn't dare.). So use some dirt when you wash, then whale slips off as easy as grandma's new dress.

Giving whale to someone[edit]

The gift of whale denotes friendship so kind that whenever a person opens a gift can of whale tears of happiness flow, which must then be immediately mixed into the paint. When about ten tears of happiness mingle with whale they transform it to the glistening insides of marbles. That is why whale thus is prized among all paint for true love and tender moments. This is how it is in many cultures: giving a gift of whale is enough for the entire village to be called to the scene. They are then invited down to the basement, where all the interesting things happen.

If you paint your true love with whale - called "sparkle up quickly" by old tribes - all the things you love about them will rise to the top of the skin and all their bad things nobody knows about will get bleached into somewhere not even shadow left. Then you see two people dance and croon on the patio, someone plays the piano.

Do you have enough money to buy whale?[edit]

It's only paint, so if you've been told about it you can get some. Not everyone does or is, or even cares towards. It's whale, which pales gold, but not everyone can know this. And even if they did, believe? No! How many would? So get some. Hesitate only for geese, because geese clarify attention to detail, whale included.

See also[edit]

Colours - Colors - Coolers