Argentina
Not to be confused with Nazi Germany
Argentina is a country in South America that is renowned for its ripoff Cowboys, cheesy dances, dictatorial regimes and Football players and beautiful landscapes.
| Motto | “275% chance to win the world cup!” |
| National Anthem | God Save Messi |
| Capital City | Buenos Aires |
| Largest Cities | Buenos Aires |
| Official Languages | Spanish, German |
| Government | Republic |
| President | Crazy Chainsaw Guy |
| National Heroes | Messi, Pope Francis |
| Religion | Catholicism |
| Population | 45 million |
| Area | Large |
| Population Density | Low |
| Major Exports | Footballers, Beef, |
| Major Imports | Foreign Currency, |
| Ethnic Groups | White (100%) |
| National Animal | Cow |
| Favourite Pastime | Playing Football, Eating Beef, Lamenting the Inflation Rate |
| Opening Hours | 9:00-10:00 |
| Internet TLD | .arg |
| Calling Code | 174 |
Geography[edit | edit source]
Argentina is one of the biggest countries on earth, and is home to many different regions, ranging from mountains to deserts to grasslands to glaciers. Its capital is Buenos Aires. It has South America’s highest mountain and its temperatures range from warmish to freezing. It includes the Islas Malvinas and part of Antarctica. It shares an extremely LOOOOOONG border with Chile.
History[edit | edit source]
Colonial Times[edit | edit source]
Argentina was discovered by Spain in the 1600s. Although there were already millions of people living there, they decided that this would be the perfect place to set up a bunch of ranches in the middle of nowhere. To realise this dream, they… uhmm… dealt with the natives, so that Argentina was 100% white. But then Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Spain, leaving Argentina independent
1800s[edit | edit source]
During the 1800s the Argentinian government expanded into the vast nothingness of Patagonia, and dealt with the remaining Native Americans. They also encouraged lots of Europeans to move in so that the population remained white and pure to help bring in some more labour. They also emerged as significant players in the agriculture and letting people who have done dodgy things into the country. They also engaged in communal bullying against Paraguay.
1900s - Now[edit | edit source]
At the start of the 1900s, Argentina was a very rich country, but successive governments ruined the economy.
Peronism[edit | edit source]
In the 1950s, radical thinker Juan Peron formed a new branch of politics called Peronism, which said that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to let the poor die in the streets.
“Perhaps letting poor people actually be less poor and survive would not be wholly terrible for the nation” - Juan Peron
This idea was quickly ridiculed by the rich people, but the working classes seemed to like it, and Juan was elected president.
Military Dictatorship[edit | edit source]
During the 1970s, Argentina was led by a general whose favorite pastimes were, among other things, throwing dissidents out of helicopters and rigging world cup finals. This honourable government continued until 1982, when he had the bright idea of declaring war on one of the world’s most powerful countries. This did not go down well with Margaret Thatcher, who retook the Islas Malvinas, and El Presidente resigned in disgrace.
Economy[edit | edit source]
Argentina is a major player in the farming industry, and their beef is sold worldwide. With a 50% unemployment rate, these benefits are not shared to the population. Poverty is up 25%, which only indicates the success of Argentina. The current inflation rate is 2500000000000%
Crazy Chainsaw Guy’s Reforms[edit | edit source]
The current president, Crazy Chainsaw Guy, has proposed radical reforms. Mr Chainsaw Guy intends to scrap the peso for the US Dollar, which is definitely sound economic policy. He also intends to slash subsidies and benefits, which would totally not cause havoc in a country with a 36% poverty rate. Chainsaw Guy is also renowned for his colourful language.
You ****ing, ****able ******! - Crazy Chainsaw Guy
Culture[edit | edit source]
Sport[edit | edit source]
Argentina’s favourite sport is futbol. Famous Argentinian footballers include Lionel Messi and Diego Maradona. Argentinians have been known to get extremely angry if Brazil, or (shock horror) Uruguay is better than them. Argentina has won the World Cup 3 times, most recently in 2022. They also enjoy Rugby.
Music[edit | edit source]
As the home of the tango, Argentina is renowned for its musical prowess. The world famous tango has reached international prominence as a symbol of the country and its ripoff cowboys. Argentina is home to many singer such as umm… err… I can’t think of any right now but I will get back to you
Literature and Art[edit | edit source]
No famous writers or artists were born in Argentina.
| North America | Canada • America • USA • Texas • Mexico • Greenland • Wyoming • Amerika |
| Central America | Guatemala • Belize • Honduras • El Salvador • Nicaragua (old man in picture frame) • Costa Rica • Panama |
| Random Islands | Cuba • Jamaica • Dominican Republic • Haiti • Bahamas • Falkland Islands • Hawaii • Jurassic Park |
| South America | Cocaine • Venezuela • Guyana • Suriname • Brazil • Football • Peru • Bolivia • Paraguay • Chile • Argentina • Nazi Germany • Uruguay |