Editing under the influence

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The flag is a spaghetti bar. It likes to fluffalise chemical cats and say boo to the green mouse tree because it is really quite purplish. But the blackboard is walking bluely in the licorice sky. You can see it through the ceiling that the fish tore a hole in. Furthermore, the toilet was red. Bright red. Its yellow eyes glowed in the darkness of the wine cellar. All this time the fleas were running from the snow, the pink, fuzzy, frightening snow that tasted like automated ticker tapes and came from the moon.

There was unrest among the sandwiches. Slowly as the degree of a quintic they marched through the sideways grass, across the dead picture frames, carrying their signs with strange slogans about slimy, rabid lettuce and angry refrigerators. But, perhaps most importantly, the cows had turned into dogs. Now, instead of purple, they were yellow, yellow as the corn after it has been wikified, or the house after the cats stole the trees and forced them to fly.

The next day I was blocked.

It came as a complete surprise. The trees had only just begun to sing, and the fire extinguishers to dance. The walls were lit with the orange fizz of exploding square roots. The verbs had crawled off the paper and were conjugating each other. The mouse tried to escape when I jiggled it, but in time I was able to begin editing Wikipedia.

And so I did, for some time. Meanwhile the dogs mooed, and the cows meowed, and the cats barked, and it all blended together into a mellifluous symphony of shiny exclamation marks. The velocity was in centimetres per pea soup, and it did its very best to measure the pumpkin, but it vaporised and went back in time to catch a furry electron that wanted home rule for Wales. The flag was on fire by now: the red dragon, which was now grey, was in a very wet mood. The flames burned blackly, silently, and they sang too, just as joyous as everything else.

Then it happened. I could not edit. In fact, it said so very clearly, in red letters[1] - or were they green? I did not understand. I was only trying to add important information, such as how bananas marry rats.

In the end it did not matter anyway; the computer turned into a mushroom, a great blue mushroom with claws like a crab, and chased me out of the office: and I did not stop running until I was outside the front door, and I sat on the steps, which were furry and meowed in pain.

Sincerely, Santa

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