Liberal logic

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Did you know...
Glenn Beck feels that liberal logic is a conspiracy funded by George Soros and the Tides Foundation and sent to Barack Obama and Van Jones for approval and subsidized by Crime Inc.

Liberal logic is logic bound by facts and rationality. *insert extreme coughing fit and throat clearing session here* Common examples of liberal logic include

  • People came from pond slime, slightly changing over billions of years.
  • God is an imaginary fiend ... I mean friend.
  • Bush did 9/11.
  • Eltonn John is a moral man.
  • Math and science are related
  • The Constitution is an outmoded piece of paper written by wealthy racist white males in order to oppress women and blacks and homosexuals and any other group we think might vote for us.
  • Fornication is a beautiful thing and must be glorified on a network originally designed to play music videos.
    • The resulting pregnancy, however, is not and taxpayer-funded abortion is the only way out.
  • Animals have rights other than to be dipped in barbeque sauce.
  • Capitalism results in poverty, and socialism is not neo-feudalism
  • Either we know everything (see modernism) or else words don't mean anything. (see post modernism)
  • Kermit Gosnell is a hero crusading for human rights.

Liberals make no sense and Andy Schlafly is the conservative. Ronald Reagan is a patron saint and you must dip his bobbleheads in holy water.