Republic of Wilmington
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| Motto: "In Noodles We Trust" | |||||
| Anthem: Glorious Wilmington by Clamrind Jorny | |||||
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| Capital | Ekalbi | ||||
| Largest city | Jojika | ||||
| Official languages | English, American, Wilmish, Simlish | ||||
| Government | Commieism | ||||
| Prime Minister | Balakayyy Smithly | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Jargle Rivers | ||||
| Currency | Wilmish Mark | ||||
| Religion | Pastafarianism, Dadaism | ||||
| Population | 2830750827580602834620897523970235875283940550928347 | ||||
| Area | Oh, wouldn't you like to know? | ||||
| Population density | Black hole | ||||
| Ethnic groups | Wilmites, Territes, Treeites, Greens | ||||
| Major exports | Face koalas | ||||
| Major imports | Nerf guns | ||||
| National animal | Villain | ||||
| Favourite pastime | Autism | ||||
| Opening hours | When Smithly DAMN WELL SAYS SO | ||||
| Internet tld | .wi | ||||
| Calling code | 911 | ||||
The Republic of Wilmington was a country run by assholes who think seizing power through Nerf guns is a good idea. It was located in the Bermuda Triangle, and found your lack of faith disturbing.
In 2021, the Republic was formally disbanded.
History[edit | edit source]
In 53 B.C., the Rivers Empire, named for the famous Jargle Rivers, fell, and from its ashes arose three factions: the Wilmites and the East and West Territes. For hundreds of years, these three fought for control over the Holy Land bestowed upon them by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Eventually, however, the Wilmites came on top in 1386 A.D., and the Confederation of Wilmington was formed. However, this was not to last. The Confederation fell into civil war twice, and despite winning both, they knew a change was necessary. In 1897, they reorganized their government by order of President Trevor Jubbles, but then everyone thought that the new government was dumb so they overthrew Jubbles and instated a federative republic ruled by Supreme Leader Bernted Trumpton. In 1954, they peacefully annexed the Sultanate of Treetown. In 2001, they conquered the People's Republic of Greenridge.
On March 1, 2021, the Republic of Wilmington formally disbanded with the signing of the Articles of Disbandment by the supreme leader and three of the four governors.
Administrative Divisions[edit | edit source]
Wilmington was divided into 5 provinces and 1 territory.
The Capitol[edit | edit source]
Not much to say. It's where Supreme Leader Smithly lives and not much else. Governed by the Supreme Leader directly.
Leta Mae[edit | edit source]
The "breadbasket" of Wilmington. Produced most of the bamboo of the country. The last governor was Sean Weebs (pronounced Seen Weebz). Also may be spelled Leta May.
Christiania[edit | edit source]
A province named after its first and last governor, Christiania Liverwurst. Contact with this province has not been attempted for some time, as it is currently crying in the corner over there; as such, Liverwurst was the only governor not to sign the Articles of Disbandment.
Treetown[edit | edit source]
An exclave located approximately 300 yards northeast of Wilmington Proper. It was created from the former Sultanate of Treetown. Also part of the "breadbasket." Unlike the rest of Wilmington, they prefered to use swords rather than Nerf guns. The last governor was Joji Kazoo.
Greenridge[edit | edit source]
Another exclave. Created from the former People's Republic of Greenridge. Located approximately 3 miles north of Wilmington Proper. The last governor was Clamrind Jorny, although they reportedly had little to no control over most of the province.
Unorganized Territory of Terra Place[edit | edit source]
Remember those Territes? Yeah, those guys were never really wiped out. We don't really know what's over there now, and we don't want to. Wilmington just kind of claimed it for themselves to make their borders look nice. Legend says that it is the home of the pagan deities of the Territe pantheon, namely Xenu, Bonjook, and Space Satan. However, there is not much evidence to support this. All reports of a giant banana peel descending onto the landscape below are to be destroyed and the creators hanged (but only if they don't please the banana god).
Foreign Relations[edit | edit source]
They had a trade deal with the Kingdom of Enkopiaz where each month they ship weapons to Wilmington, and in return Wilmington throws a koala at their face. However, the kingdom has since dissolved into anarchy after the King Ketchup I of the House Redacted died leaving no heir.
They tried to draft a non-aggression pact with the North Carroll Kingdom, but they said "screw u no" and there was uneasy peace. Some time after Wilmington's dissolution, the North Carrollian queen was exiled from her own lands to the frigid north, though she still maintains contact with some former Wilmish government officials.
Nobody else knows they existed.