Autism
Autism, also known as Autism Sautism Dautism (ASD) and "The Curse", is an ancient Mesopotamian curse developed around 5300 BC as a form of psychological warfare. Autistic people are much more likely than the average person to slip on banana peels, be rappers, and grow corn inside their homes (HUGE mistake).
"The Curse" is not not not unrelated to Spitting Bloke Syndrome and is not at all related to Asperger Syndrome.
Most nontistic people believe that autism is caused by vaccines, which is sometimes true depending on if the person receiving the vaccine already has autism or not.
Symptoms of "The Curse"[edit | edit source]
Autistic people roll in mud. Everyone knows this. If you didn't know this, you are stupid.
Autistic people cannot swim due to the fact that all autistic people have the same exact density as pure iridium.
There are no other symptoms.
I lied. Autism has every symptom except for one, which i won't tell you about.
Autistic people would theoretically loose their fingers if they ever chopped them off.
How to find an autistic person[edit | edit source]
- Step 1. Find someone rolling in mud, perhaps after it rains. If you cannot find anyone rolling in mud, give up and never try again. If you successfully find someone rolling in mud, move to step 2.
- Step 2. Check if they look similar to a pig. If they have pig features, Move to step 3. If they do not have pig features, move to step 6.
- Step 3. Ask the mud enthusiast a simple question, if they respond in English, you may move to step 4. If they respond in American, you will be arrested. If they don't respond, move to step 5.
- Step 4. You've found a rare English Hog. Take your swine home and make yourself some bacon. You've earned it.
- Step 5. You've found a normal pig. Shame on you. Give up.
- Step 6. Congratulations! You've successfully found the autism! Now let them enjoy their mud in peace.
If you are still unsure after following the guide, you are stupid.
