| Prominent Prose of the Randomly Indiscriminate Time Period: Spy Story
T minus 3 seconds
Agent 0.01 checked its watch. It was almost time. It placed its finger on the detonator.
3 ... 2 ... 1 ....
There was a crash and a woman sat down on its lap. She was beautiful. She had glowing green hair growing in stubbly patches, and a pattern of pink and blue tattoos running diagonally across her face. Her left
eyeball had been tattooed a uniform blood red.
“Hullo?” it said. “Why are you suddenly seated on my lap?”
“Gravity,” she replied. And then, “Are you a robot?”
“What makes you suspect I am a robot?”
“All those extra eyes. They look weird. And besides that the narrator keeps calling you 'it'. Who are you, anyway?”
“What day is today?”
“Tuesday,” she said, after glancing up at the large day-date sign hanging in the air over them.
“Then I am Joe. If it were Wednesday I would be Sally-Ann. But you may call me 0.01 if it pleases you to do so.”
“Pleased to meet you, Joe-Sally-Ann-0.01. I'm agent 2. But you can call me 'Her'.”
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| Did You No? Yes! But did you know...
- ...that the Miraheze Wackypedia is the true Wackypedia? The Miraheze Wackypedia has always been the true Wackypedia.
- ...that in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love?
- ...that the bananas are coming – the Banana Command will emerge and announce that they've taken charge of the planet so that the misery can come to an end – be ready!
- ...if you're reading this, you've been in a coma for almost 5 years. We're trying to reach you. We don't know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope you will find it. Please wake up. We miss you.
- ...that we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.
- ...that this is the that that these those thuse?
- ...that it is recommended that you do not place credibility in a a gardening tool with a thin metal blade that is often used to break up dirt, not even once, nor myself? (Don't trust a hoe, never trust a hoe, don't trust me)
- ...that if you are a young female we request that you refrain from speaking and move your ball and socket synovial joint, formed by an articulation between the pelvic acetabulum and the head of the femur, in the manner expected of one who is blind and deaf? (Shush girl, shut your lips; do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips)
- ...that the higher the fewer it spins?
- ...that if man is still alive and woman can survive in the year 7554, it'll be on Venus?
- ...that Turin, Italy is not actually Turin-complete?
- ...that a banana man has offered compelling arguments for Illogicopedia being intelligently designed?
- ...that since furries the output of the mathematical function sine when inputted 89.1242791 (39 cm/s) has never been the same? (Main article: Furry)
- ...that rotating any rodent will make your dreams come true?
- ...that the founder of the GOP was briefly expelled for punching a teacher?
- ...that doodling is only a fantasy, like magic?
- ...that I am a secret agent code named Doodlequats?
- ...that Lumpy Gravy is popular with Madagascar day geckos?
- ...that vaping air isn’t worth the effort?
- ...that the fruits of your labor are taxed at 8.8%?
- ...that emergency roadside assistance is code for a transphobic douche?
- ...that as I write this drivel, I realize the unfortunate side effects of the drugs I take?
- ...that y’all decking sinners ought to repent, and soon?!?!
- ...that we lost the Pyramid Wars?
- ...that the meatballs are ready?
- ...that stream-of-consciousness writing is out of fashion?
- ...that I once aspired to be a stream-of-consciousness writer?
- ...that snakes are the number one cause of is that a deer?
- ...that the King of Ice Cream's waiting over your left shoulder?
- ...that none of you are getting out of this alive?
- ...that the Venture brothers are ready for action?
- ...that unregulated gelatin economy is causing chivalrous cacophonous dregs to resurface the road things when hair gets stale and twangy?
- ... that you are not allowed to marry a gardening tool with a thin metal blade that is often used to break up dirt (garden hoe)?
- ... that if you're tired of Jarritos, you can always try Fabuloso?
- ... BEE BAHHHHHH?
- ... that "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" didn't come out until 2004?
- ... that TANE WILL RETURN?
- ... that for god's sake, you should leave the fireworks to the professionals for this year?
- ... that a black hole is where my spleen is supposed to be, and it's really loud?
- ... that I enjoy licking the surface of a tempera painting as I was taught in preschool?
- ... that the batteries inside my lamp are just begging for a salad made entirely of cows?
- ... that my hair seems to have taken a life on its own and is attending college right now?
- ... that the current is strong and I'm afraid my tugboat is about to sink?
- ... that I am personally attached to a piece of birch wood I keep beneath my bed? It brings me good luck.
- ... that I have an antfarm that I am very personally attached to? I try petting the ants inside but they keep crawling up my finger and stinging me. 😔
- ... that General Macarthur was killed by a life preserver, which is kind of ironic?
- ... that if you put "SANS" into a ROT13 Caesar Cypher, you get "FNAF", and vice versa?
- ... that "kawaii metal" is a thing?
- ... that "uwu" means "sus" in ROT2?
- ... that one in seven East German citizens were Stasi informers?
- ... that the G.I. in "G.I. Joe" stands for Gastrointestinal?
- ... ipse satanas salivam huiuscemodi homo iecerit super terram ambulus?
- ... that you shouldn't be mean to your kids, because then they might visit Paris to avoid you, and then will no longer engage in agricultural labor?
- ... that apple juice is very tasty and nutritious?
- ... that agriculture in Monroe County, Missouri was doomed to failure from the start?
- ...that using advanced mathematical formulae, our researchers have determined 2 does indeed equal weed eater?
- ... that it's always 5 o' clock somewhere?
- ... that my spleen sings the National French anthem every time the clock strikes 5 pm?
- ... worm on a string?
- ... that come tomorrow, your kneecaps will belong to me and me alone?
- ... that there are only 25 blimps in existance?
- ... Please purchase Illogicopedia+ to view this DYK!
- ... that you have no idea what's in-store for you at Omega Mart?
- ... that I coulda dropped my croissant?
- happy birthday main page
- ... that this site's main page turns 14 years old this Saturday?
- ... that even the Keurig tells me "good morning"?
- ... that Dababy will turn a person into a convertible?
- ... that it is 100 seconds to midnight?
- ... that (serious mode activated) the war on drugs was probably racism the entire time? (serious mode deactivated)
- ... that the interior crust of the moon is where they get the stuff for cellphone screens, and that they send kids up there to get it?
- ... that it's 4:20 somewhere?
- tired. so tired.
- funny meme day lol drugs
- ... that some people still think that they can get away with edgy humor in 2021?
- ... that according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Bee Movie should've flied?
- ... that there also exists Wackypedia? (please don't hurt them, i'm sure they're very nice)
- ... that quiet people piss?
- ... that this was the Green Note, and I'm Juan Carlos Bodoque?
- ... that?
- ... that if the entire population of earth jumped, the earth would get pissed?
- ... that today is April Fools' Day, and we've got a very illogical article to commemorate it?
- ... that if queens really could move wherever they like, then the opening position would have both kings in a smothered mate?
- ... that the Earth weighs 13,170,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds?
- ... that he was like no, and I was like yes?
- ... that the life span of The Solar System is about half?
- ... that 69 is just a number?
- ... that you can eat your heart out on a plastic tray?
- ... that when you vomit honey, you are vomiting bee vomit?
- ... that Shakespeare wore a gold hoop earring?
- ... that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?
- ... that there was a certain man, in Russia long ago?
- ... that he was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow?
- ... this is probably the only DYK that doesn't begin with "that", or end with a question mark? Given the site's lifespan, that probably isn't the case.
- ... that porcupines are a natural source of heroin needles?
- ... that if Juice World was real, we would all drown?
- ... that there are FOUR themes of world history?
- ... that heee not liek. The banana. Angry... cat no banana.
- ... that we have all the car parts you will ever need (for your car)?
- ... that with Illogicopedia, even you can across to Equestria?
- ... that "maybe if u got rid of dat 'ol yee yee aaaa haircut" is not a line from Drumline (2002)?
- ... that a man once took a selfie with a plane hijacker?
- ... that NOTHINs' GOnnA STOOPP MEE, AyAaaa!
- ... that 2021 was only OK for six days?
- ... that your life clearly has at least some meaning, considering that you were born in the first place, and lived long enough to read this?
- ... that for a good chunk of 2019 and 2020, the featured content didn't change?
- ... that this website's featured content has changed?
- ... that if you do anything, you will die?
- ... that the Baul wish to find the last bingo card and plunge Funfare into darkness?
- ... that you can't spell "successful" without "succ"?
- ... that the FDA estimates that 93% of meat worker marriages are in shambles?
- ...that if you know an American man between the ages of 20 and 40 who is at least seven feet tall, there's a 17 percent chance he's in the NBA right now?
- ...that Australia is an Asian country?
- ...Yo, Australia is actually in Oceania. Seriously.
- ...that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that?
- ...that this website's featured content hasn't changed since 2019?
- ...that there is an entire plane of existence comprised of only yellow baseball caps?
- ...that Walter is the most powerful entity in existence, and could end reality any second?
- ...that you need to wake up?
- ...that makin' bacon pancakes is illegal in Kansas City?
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- ...that it's a free country and I can say what I want!
- ...that you probably shouldn't joke about coronavirus-related conspiracy theories?
- ...that the Coronavirus is a bio-weapon?
- ...that the full-on strawberry rubber-stamped chair apocalypse is here?
- ...that it's the Amalgamate?
- ...that -0 is an insane number?
- ...that I'm back? -Dilly/Dylan
- ...that attempts have been made to contain mutant Illogi-bananas? (OH GOD, OH FUCK! They are on to us!)
- ...that fnurdles can whirl, and you're being listened to?
- ...that Neil Armstrong sang "Sweet Caroline" while riding a bike on the moon?
- ...that timeline and reality management with git can sometimes make you feel like a git?
- ...that the character Buzz Lightyear was named after the actor Buzz Aldrin, best known for his work in Apollo 11?
- ...that you can write articles just by taking them from Wikipedia?
- ...that Cg098 created Polonium?
- ...that there is no theoretical limit to the number of questions I can type, one after the other, day after day, year after year, light year after light year, polymorphism after head over heals, ass over teacup, Irish whiskey from Dimension 9?
- ...and that the doorbell was stuck again on Thursday, and that we had to call the nun who owns the place to get a plumber to call a CPA for advice about werewolves?
- ...and that Where wolves are, so falls Witchita Falls?
- ...that a cannon that shoots pissed off tigers is currently legal in the state of New Hampshire?
- ...that I shouldn't be here right now?
- ...that you live on a planet? Yeah! You're an Earth person!
- ...that salt burns orange?
- ↑ A trap to catch people who think a light year is a measure of time. Once entranced by the text of this sentence, they will become subject to my will. I will insinuate them into the highest levels of the music world, and flood the world with Alternative Cheese Rock.
- ...that Bcbkye is still watching you after ten years? He's standing in the very same spot in the corner of your room.
- ...that Nmesh are to belong all your base?
- ...that most English surnames mean exactly what they sound like?
- ...that 'quotes' "are" „very“ „very” «very» ‹weird?›
- ...that taht... ...wonk uoy did tuB !seY ?oN uoY diD
- ...that the light in Sophie's eyes went out bit by bit?
- ...that I too am a loathsome tobacco man?
- ...and that my mom knows I smoke?
- ...that I'm a loathsome tobacco man?
- ...that no monkeys were harmed in the writing of Illogicopedia articles?
- ...that this, as well?
- ...that it’s gay to be homophobic?
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