User talk:The Bard

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Hello. [edit]

It's been quite a while, hasn't it? I've heard many great things about you. Look forward to seeing you around here more often. Radiohead.gif 2+2=5 Radiohead bear animated avatar.gif (Tay | Say) Radiohead.gif 19:28, 22 Jumbly 2015 (UTC)

Now with free cheese wizzy! It's the Illogicopedian Times! [edit]

12th Edition
Banana green.png
Banana green.png
Formerly known as "Jerks Without Borders"
Thursday, Jeremy 26, 2012
The Illogicopedian Times is... er... I don't know. Seriously! I don't! But I do know that a lot of people suggest that you read Playboy instead because it's funnier. Whatever. Why am I still typing here?
Big Brother 2012
Big Brother 2012

It is nearing the close of Jeremy 2012, and also nearing the close of Big Brrother, Illogicopedia's game show that is actually a revival of another Illogicopedia game show from 2008.

In week 2, as Island Monkey and Another n00b got the boot, now it comes down to the final three contestants: Dan the Hedgehog, Colonel Sanders and Athyria. Who will win and join the house of Big Brother... permanently?

See the action here.

Also, don't forget to vote for your favorite user to WIN.

Illogic Times to be Published Monthly

Since The Bard and everybody else abandoned it and Kırby and I are the only ones editing it anymore, it is my decree that the Illogicopedian Times shall be published monthly!

Basically, the only reason I'm making this announcement is to tell you all to WRITE SOME FRIKKIN' STORIES!!!

Recent Threads
By the forum guys

Baby New Year???

Happy New Year 2012 everybody! You know those posters with the "baby new year" and the old year is an old bearded man? Well, I think those posters are very morbid. I mean, think about it:

Congratulations for the new year! Think of this year as a newborn baby who will be dead in a year's time.

~See what I mean?

Just something I put in here to fill up space

VFF! VFI! IotM! AotM! ICA!

~Runner-Up Keeper of the Bloodwine Dan the Hedgehog.png Forum logo banana.png Eclipse.PNG BANANA BATLETH.png 00:48, 01/27/2012

Hold your horses! It's the Illogicopedian Times! [edit]

11th Edition
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Banana green.png
Rebelling from Wikia in the worst kind of way.
Tuesday, Ditzember 27, 2011
The Illogicopedian Times is, in mathematical terms, the square root of the hippopotumus when divided by pi and raised to the power of your mom. This will have mathematicians baffled for the rest of the year, which, coincidentally, isn't very long.
Happy New Years
Happy New Years

As we end 2011, let's look back on the dumb things that happened during the old year:

Needless to say, however, after 01/01/2012, the "new year" will quickly become the old year, and then we'll be waiting for 12/31/2012. It's just a neverending cycle... or is it?

I'm sexy and I know it.
By Sexy

And you're ugly.

Let's make average babies.

Oh damn.
Oh damn.

We are facing the IllogiPocalypse.

This is an apocalypse of Illogicopedia.

You see, our wiki is slowly but surely slowing down to obscurity. And the only editors who are still visiting it are Dan the Hedgehog and I.

Our forum isn't visited enough, neither is VFH, VFI, AotM or even IotM.

And look at this: Dan and I are the only ones who even bothered to write an IllogiTimes since October of this year.

And this will slowly degrade until we are barely noticed at all, even behind

And then, on December 21, 2012, our website will disappear from all history.


Please, we must save our website.

Cool story bro.

Please, everybody completely disregard what my friend Kirby up there said. He's just one pile of **** after another. Thank you.

~[ths] Keeper of the Bloodwine My Farticles. Qaplá'! Are you bigger than cheeses? Writer of the Month October 2011 22:58, 12/27/2011

Kirby copied your talkpage. [edit]

Yes he did. His talkpage, located here, is a direct copy of yours, Mr. Shakespeare sir. Now what do you think of that? ~[ths] Keeper of the Bloodwine My Farticles. Qaplá'! Are you bigger than cheeses? Writer of the Month October 2011 02:49, 12/03/2011

P.S.- If you are mad, please don't take it too hard on my friend Kırby-- he's still a n00b, y'know.

No harm, no foul. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 13:18, 30 Ditzimber 2011 (UTC)

Big Brrother 2012 Invite [edit]

Invite to Big Brrother 2012[edit source]

Would you be interested in becoming a contestant in Big Brrother 2012?

Big Brrother is Illogicopedia's only interactive Illogigame, that last reared its head in early 2008. As a celebration of 5 years of this wonderful wiki, the Big Brrother hoose is opening again in January 2012 for five new users to take part in delusional conversing, puzzling tasks and facing the weekly eviction. It's all a bit of fun, something to liven up the wiki and get rid of the Christmas hangover. Check out the vaguely informative promo video, article and blog post for more juicy details.

Thanks, and remember... Big Brother is sometimes watching you--Ben Blade 15:48, 13 Novelniver 2011 (UTC)

Talktalk [edit]

This was what I meant. Could you please make it like a talkpage, even with the fancy format... please? Especially when server loading is slow, it makes stalking you so much more difficult the way it currently is. *shifty kitty eyes* ~ Pointy.png 17:43, 12 Serpeniver 2011

Sweet, thanks, man. ~ Pointy.png 18:55, 12 Serpeniver 2011
You're welcome. Note: Stalking me is a complete waste of time. I'm not even well-suited as food. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 19:29, 12 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)
P.S. If it will make your visits to ?media more pleasant, I'll do the same there. However, it looks like I'll have to change the DPL extension I installed from the Wikipedia-approved one to the 3rd party, psycho-supercharged death-o-licious variation. ~ B.
The normal one don't work even after the safety updates? Or was the other one that... okay, something got safety updates somewhere along the line. >.> ~ Pointy.png 20:04, 12 Serpeniver 2011
Because the wiki is brand new and I also just upgraded from 1.16.5 to 1.17, the extensions were fresh. Anyway, I just swapped to third party DPL so now your talkpageythingie works at there, too. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 22:03, 12 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)
Whoohoo! Although I just realised usually talkpages have the older stuff at the top... not that it matters, but it does strike me as a little odd that the natural thing to do seemed to be to order it this way even after all this... ingraining into my brain by all the other talkpages. O_o If that makes any sense. ~ Pointy.png 03:09, 13 Serpeniver 2011

Thanks for being you [edit]

Thanks for tidying up our IRC-based article. It struck me that some of what we were saying was illogical gold... so, I grabbed a bit. Monsignor Onslow Peaches - Speak slowly into the tube 15:53, 11 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Eh, t'wasn't nothing. With the peculiar title I couldn't help but look. The whole conversation must have been interesting... ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 19:24, 11 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)
I do have much of it stashed away. It's pretty bizarre. Made me feel like a world class insane person. Monsignor Onslow Peaches - Speak slowly into the tube 23:36, 11 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

My original start to praising you, immortalized in doggie poops [edit]

here Monsignor Onslow Peaches - Speak slowly into the tube 21:51, 8 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Wicked! I was wondering if I'd be worthy of a vanity page someday. This is a tasty little bio indeed! Many thanks. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 19:00, 11 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Boo! [edit]

Hey there I regret to inform that I have had to leave uncyclopedia due to drama and difference between users, until further notice. Anyway I should be hanging around Illogicopedia more :D --Frosty 11:17, 3 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Good news for us then, and regret is necessary. If the place was worth being associated with, I'd have kept my admin boots. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 12:16, 3 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

My new publication [edit]

I am going to write a book on here. You, or any of my fellow idiots may join.--Colonel Sanders 18:21, 2 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Hooray! =) Lemme think on it. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 18:29, 2 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)
I have pondered a title: You Can't Cure Stupid.--Colonel Sanders 18:36, 2 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

You are winner [edit]

Featured Illogicopedian


This user is a winner of the Illogicopedian of the Month award.

(See other winners)

I leave this message on your fantastically coded talkpage forum to inform you that you are the winner of the August Illogicopedian of the Month. Congratulations and such. Please accept this garish template as reward, and these free book tokens to the value of $0.02 ($0.00 Canadian) stolen from a schoolchild. I am sure you will put them to good use. Once again, many congrats from everyone at Illogicopedia me! -- Hindleyak  Converse?blogClick here! 12:47, 2 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, kind sir. And also thanks for dropping by the Foundation. You should really run for a spot on the Board of Trustees. Or walk. Stand, even. Interest is low, so chances are good! ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 15:10, 2 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations, and I apologize for not having written your eulogy winners garbliyak for the Main Page. Still, I may compose an ode... I've had my IllogiCocktails this morning, so I feel ready... Cheers! Monsignor Onslow Peaches - Speak slowly into the tube 16:19, 3 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Actually, the featured writer template is still fair game for anyone that wants to do a better version of it. I just threw down something quick just in case no one else remembered to. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 19:16, 3 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

I wish that the voices inside my head... [edit]

...could do impressions, because I'm getting a bit tired of the same old monotone. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 14:56, 1 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

Have you considered a brain swap with Alastair McGowan a well known celebrity impersonator? -- Hindleyak  Converse?blogClick here! 12:48, 2 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)
I still kinda dig Rich Little, but his brain is getting on in years. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia TinyQuill.gif 15:05, 2 Serpeniver 2011 (UTC)

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