Harambe the Gorilla
Warning: this article has a stinky case of potty mouth.
“The world has many different ways of seeing Jesus. Harambe, however, is my way of seeing Him.”
Harambe never meant any harm to the boy. Harambe was in dire need of a disciple, a protege to spread his perfect gorilla ways to the world. The boy initially became enlightened but could not handle the infinite knowledge of Harambe, so he became panicked and attempted to flee. Harambe, increasingly desperate to spread his message to the world through this boy, could not let the opportunity go to waste... He grabbed the boy back for his own good. Onlookers were shocked at what they perceived to be a violent gesture. And before he knew it, Harambe was killed at the hands of the very people who do not understand yet oppose his teachings, the Way of the Gorilla.
Harambe then became known as the martyr who was at the end of the barrel.
Everybody, in honor of this great transcendental being whose teachings the world never got to hear... DICKS OUT. (Sorry ladies.)
Okay, so what in the world could you have possibly expected when you drop a small and defenseless little boy into the fucking gorilla encampment? Did you really expect Harambe to raise the boy into becoming the next fucking Tarzan? Would that have made Harambe's death any more Disney for you? No, I didn't think so. And now men and degenerated teenage boys are whipping out their dicks for Harambe because MEMES. How the hell is the death of a gorilla worthy of becoming a goddamn meme? It's like fingerboxes: without them, you never had a goddamn childhood, you sheltered fuck! Yes, that was totally irrelevant, but on the other hand, how relevant even is Harambe's death nowadays, for crying out loud!?
Seriousness, for real this time
Why must humans reject what they do not understand, namely, the Way of the Gorilla, the Way of Harambe, which is expressed in the wavefunction of each and every one of us. They have turned away to the Way of the Bear, the Way of Medved. Glory to Kolechia!
Sordid and Unnecessary Request For Deletion
Let the poor gorilla rest in peace.
|This article is part of the |
ILLOGICOPEDIA GUIDE TO INTERNET MEMES
$w4g • Angry German Kid • An Hero • Bed Intruder Song • Bel-Air • BOMBARDMENT! • Caramelldansen • Chocolate Rain • Chuck Norris • Cory In The House (Anime Series) • Creepypasta • Delta Airlines • Desu • Do you know why we stopped the car? • Doge • Dogecoin • Doggo • The Dress • DSFARGEG • Fidget Spinner • Fingerbox • Grand Dad • Green de la Bean • Harambe the Gorilla • Hollywood Superstar Shia LaBeouf • I like turtles • I took an arrow to the knee • Jeff The Killer • Laurel and Yanny • Leeroy Jenkins • Lolwut • Mega Milk • MLG • Mudkipz • Numa Numa • Nyan cat • Over nine thousand • Palm Face • PARTY HARD • Pool's closed • Richard Dawkins • Rick roll • Rickless roll • Roblox death sound • Roflcopter • See Also • Shoop Da Whoop • Slenderman • That Poppy • Twitch Plays Pokemon • Ugandan Knuckles • V a p o r w a v e • We Are Number One • Weegee • Zalgo • Zero Wing