Bel-Air

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Bitches don’t know about my relocation.

It started out simple enough: subtly work the theme song lyrics of a television sitcom from the 1990s into a tl;dr rant. What resulted was the birth of the most cancerous meme this side of over 9000.

Examples of Bel-Air[edit | edit source]

Fresh Jesus[edit | edit source]

Now, this is a story all about how My body got nailed up to a cross And I liked to take a minute here's how it begins I'll tell you how I died for all your mortal sins

In west Bethlehem I was born and raised In Nazareth was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all makin' some wood cups, wowin' some fools When a couple of Romans Who were up to no good Said I wasnt behavin; in the way that I should I had one last supper and my men drank wine I said eat my body drink my blood and Ill be fine

I was nailed a cross and when death came nearer The light shown brightly and I saw a little clearer If anything I could say that the Roman wins But I thought now forget it, Ill die for your sins

They. pulled. me to my grave about seven or eight And I rose from my tomb yo, home smell you later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle in heaven and listen to prayer

Fresh Pirate[edit | edit source]

Now here be a tale, all about how me life got flipped, turned upside-down, And I'd like to take a minute, So just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the pirate of a port called Bel-Air.

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, On the shipyard is where I spent most of me days Chillin out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, And all shootin' some cannons outside of the galleon When a couple of Brits, who were up to some good, Started shippin' gold in me neighborhood, I got in one little battle and me captain got scared He said 'You're movin' with your first mate and cabin boy in Bel-Air!'

I whistled for a dingy and when it came near The side said 'S.S. Fresh' And it had dice in the mast! If anything I could say that this dingy was rare But I thought 'Yarr, forget it - Yo, mate to Bel-Air!' I pulled up to the port about seven or eight, I yelled to the captain 'Yo mate, smell thee later!' Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there To sit on me throne as the pirate of Bel-Air!

Fresh pirate version 2[edit | edit source]

Now here be a tale, all about how me life got flipped, turned upside-down, And I'd like to take a minute, So just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the pirate of a port called Bel-Air.

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, On the shipyard is where I spent most of me days Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, And all shootin' some cannons outside of the galleon When a couple of Brits, who were up to some good, Started shippin' gold in me neighborhood, I got in one little battle and me captain got scared He said 'You're movin' with your first mate and cabin boy in Bel-Air!'

I whistled for a dingy and when it came near The side said 'S.S. Fresh' And it had dice in the mast! If anything I could say that this dingy was rare But I thought 'Yarr, forget it - Yo, mate to Bel-Air!'

I pulled up to the port about seven or eight, I yelled to the captain 'Yo ho, smell ya later!' Looked at me kingdom, I was finally there To sit on me throne as the pirate of Bel-Air!

Fresh proper English[edit | edit source]

To begin, this is a tale of how my very existence was twisted and transformed in a most peculiar way. Please have a seat, for I wish to take a moment to relate to you the fascinating odyssey which ultimately led to my reign as the Prince of Bel-Air.

I was sired and reared in West Philadelphia. As a lad, most of my time was spent at the neighborhood recreation center where I would laze about and relax in a most charming manner - that is, when I was not engaging my chums in a friendly game of basketball at the schoolhouse. Around this time, two young hooligans had begun to stage a campaign of vandalism and intimidation in my neighborhood. When my mother discovered I had had a bit of an altercation with the ruffians, she insisted I leave town at once and take up lodgings with my aunt and uncle in Bel-Air.

As the taxi approached, heeding my beckoning whistle, I could discern the word "FRESH" emblazoned upon its license plate, and took particular note of the pair of plush novelty dice which hung from the rear-view mirror. I was a bit taken aback by these strange omens, but quickly put them out of my mind as I cheerfully called to the driver: "To Bel-Air, my good man!"

We arrived safely in Bel-Air at dusk, and as the driver came to a stop in front of the house where I was to live, I left him with the words: "Farewell, sir. Perhaps my nostrils shall delight in your aroma once more!"

To be sure, it was a long journey, and as I gazed upon my estate in all its splendor, I knew once and for all that my rightful place was on the throne - as the young scion of the great and mighty kingdom of Bel-Air!

Fresh Steve Irwin[edit | edit source]

In West Australia, born and raised. In the ocean, there I spent most of my days. Chillin' out, maxin; relaxin all cool, stroking some stingrays inside the pool. When a couple of crocs who were up to no good, started making trouble in Australia Zoo. So I got one little bite, and Terri got scared. "you're moving with your aunt and uncle in Bel Air"

I whistled for a boat and when it came near, the licence plate said fresh and had dice in the mirror. If anything, I'd say that this boat was rare, but forget it, yo captain to Bel Air. I pulled up to the sting ray about seven or eight and I yelled to the captain yo homes smell ya later. Looked at the sting ray my heart it did puncture I sit on my grave as the crocodile hunter

Fresh WWII[edit | edit source]

In Western Europe born and raised, At the theater room where I spent most of my days, Planning plotting and acting all cool, Shooting some traitors to instil loyalty true, When a couple of Allies were up to no good, Started running forces through our neck of the woods, We lost a couple of little fights and my generals got scared, They said "You're moving with your cabinet to the bunkers down there"

I waited for my escort and when they came near, The Jeeps had troops and guns in the rear, If anything I thought this protection was rare, But I said "Nah forget it, yo home to down there!"

I pulled up to the elevator at about seven or eight, And yelled to the guys "Yo troops, your medals come later" I looked at my bunker, I was finally there, To settle my defeat as I breathed in stale air.

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