Rick Astley

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The only gif of this spaceball god.

Rick Astley is the world's No. 1 God-Commander, best known for inventing Quantum Kung-fu and defeating Barack Obamatron in a one-on-one divine dance-off involving disco. About five minutes ago, he ascended to become a godlike disco warzone being, assuming he wasn't one already, and now secretly watches you watching him on the interwebs.

Rick's epic life.[edit]

Rick was born into the town of Flowerville, England.

Rick Astley was a guy who, from birth, could not stop dancing in any way. At all. So he decided to take up carpentry, assuming that the steering wheels required to make a single jar of pudding was not enough to slash him in twopieces. It was. Soon afterwards the two pieces soon became one piece of golden rockstarium, which soon split up again into the shape of lightning comets and bombed the Whitehouse.

Then Rick was approached by Mega TeleVision to produce an album called Some Dead Corpse Has Walked Into My Office. He declined, obviously, but he existed in this continuity long enough for MTV to produce a song called "Never Gonna Give You Up". It required baiting him into standing on a plank and begging him to whirl around at omnilightspeed. He then vanished shortly before MTV finished filming, subsequently obliterating the place, and then blew up Antares for looking at him unfunnily.

Rick defeats Obamatron[edit]

Rick Astley once met Obama, who told him that disco sucks. Rick promptly spazzed out for a 6 minutes and immediately challenged Obama to a dance-off.

After battledancing with Obama for a while, he punched him in the face and then proceeded to transmute him into a platinum chainsaw limousine, made out of pure alienized awesomeness, and drove at warpspeed into the hypergalactic sunset.

This article is part of the
ILLOGICOPEDIA GUIDE TO INTERNET MEMES
Doublesguy.jpg

$w4gAngry German KidAn HeroBed Intruder SongBel-AirBOMBARDMENT!CaramelldansenChocolate RainChuck NorrisCory In The House (Anime Series)CreepypastaDelta AirlinesDesuDo you know why we stopped the car?DogeDogecoinDoggoThe DressDSFARGEGFidget SpinnerFingerboxGrand DadGreen de la BeanHarambe the GorillaHollywood Superstar Shia LaBeoufI like turtlesI took an arrow to the knee Jeff The KillerLaurel and YannyLeeroy JenkinsLolwutMega MilkMLGMudkipzNuma NumaNyan catOver nine thousandPalm FacePARTY HARDPool's closedRichard DawkinsRick rRrollRick rollRickless rollRoblox death soundRoflcopterSee AlsoShoop Da WhoopSlendermanThat PoppyTwitch Plays PokemonUgandan KnucklesV a p o r w a v eWe Are Number OneWeegeeZalgoZero Wing     Add >>>