Physics

WARNING! This page wants to get physical, PHYSICAL!!

Chapter 1: A Legend is Born

Not much is known about the elusive Physics, but what we do know has been sealed in a box. This box of course was Pandora’s lunch box, who wasn’t consulted about the arrangement. When Pandorra opened the box, ready to tuck into a cheesy chocolate bar the frightened Physics leapt out and bit her face off before running away to Old New Mexico. It had to leave Mexico two minutes later after failing to build a decent roof 15 beard seconds.

Chapter the 2nd: Harry and Hermione Run Away Together. Ron Cries

Conspiracy theorists see physics as the dawn of a new age, in which goats will conjoin with their own placentas before declaring the world flat. Though this is most likely the case, a creepy little deity known only as “The Narrator” thinks otherwise. To him Physics is a mortal enemy, that he often refused to talk about. On the rare occasion he would talk about physics (often whilst wacthing Das PussyVator) he would begin screeching inert syllables at chalk boards and foaming at the mouth, yelling strange foreign words such as “Noob”, “Pwnage” and “ECHERMUM!!!”

Chapter Threesome: Woody Develops Laser Envy. Buzz is Found Dead Just Moments After, Epic Fail!!!

"I wonder if I could be the Chief Whipper?" "Really Winthorpe?"

Lately, Physics has come under intense fire from critics. They feel that Physics is too macho and draws attention away from the more vocally-talented maths. This is probably why Physics was last sighted in a Hospital Burns ward. After sterilising the collective staff with an X-Ray gun, Physics swiftly left the place and never went back (except to give birth to his son "Mechanics"). Physic’s current whereabouts or the whereabouts of his currents are currently unknown, it’s believed by many seedy Japanese pornographers that he’s out in the countryside toning up his physique for the benefit of the porn industry. He'll most likely return when auditions open for the role of chief whipper in the upcoming movie The Whippening.

Nebby decides to actually get in the bag for once, because it'd rather not watch whatever the heck's going on here.

See also

• Imaginary physics

Science