Iodine is the element that promises to waste three seconds of your life, but in reality, only wastes two seconds of your life. But when you don't get enough of it, it wastes over a week of your life and an arbitrary number of United States dollars. Due to hypothyroidism. It would be almost as fun as unununium, but its name is far boringer.
We take what we can get.
Safety precautions[edit | edit source]
Only when dealing with iodine-131. Just eat a lot of iodine-127 first.
Iodine also turns plumbers purple, but it's okay because they love it.
Thyroids. They are very ok for you.
Teh conspiracy[edit | edit source]
Iodine is a conspiracy by early 20th century Norwegian and Swedish communists who want everyone to eat lutefisk. If you get iodine, you'll start liking lutefisk. And the worst part is that you'll actually like it! One time I took iodine to the zoo and the monkeys started farting in German. That's because Scandinavia is actually a company with multiple constitutions headquartered in Dublin--Illogicopedia is currently experiencing technical difficulties. You could stand by, but they'll most likely take a long time to fix, so you might as well go and watch some TV.