Plutonium is an element that takes advantage of the magic relationship between 47 and 2: 47 plus 2 is 49, and 47 times 2 is 94.
Chemistry[edit | edit source]
Plutonium has five crystal structures with (mostly) distinct properties:
- α: The most dangerous phase, except for δ.
- β: Discovered by a mink farmer with too many eyes, it causes vomit to come out from unexpected places.
- γ: Ending its placement in the periodic table made the one that looks like y not be exactly y.
- δ: The other dangerous phase.
- δ': Exactly like δ, except you can't use be verbs.
- ε: At extremely high temperatures, plutonium can be turned nuetral.
Fan club[edit | edit source]
Plutonium has its own fan club: The UPPU Club! It is so much cooler than the Uranverein. The Uranverein just studies their element, but The UPPU Club urinates their element!
Plutonium in other contexts[edit | edit source]
Barack Obama at the Whitehouse Institute figured out that you could dilute plutonium to produce diluted plutonium. Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin at Kremlin University discovered that plutonium could be made into mixed oxide fuel to produce electricity.
In Armenia, grooms will give their brides rings made of plutonium.
Notes[edit | edit source]
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