Gold

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The main character, inventively named Gold, checking out the 24th town in the game; "Carat."
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For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on the element.
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For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on the video game.

Gold was tied with Silver for the best Pokémon Game Boy game ever created, prior to the release of Crystal and further games.

The game was much like previous Pokémon editions; the main character was a four-pixelled Pokémon trainer bent on viciously beating every kind of Pokémon in the game until rendered unconscious, as well as fulfilling some weird claustrophobia fetish and forcing them each into an impractically small "ball". Nintendo eventually admitted that the balls were a metaphor for anus, as many had long suspected.

Why can't I play guitar?

The game had immediate success, with a predicted 340% of the world's population playing it at any one time, though this can be largely attributed to the absence of porn on the internet at the time of the game's release. Popularity stayed strong until 1994 when someone accidentally photocopied up their skirt, the picture inexplicably ending up on the internet and starting the social transition to porn-centred social lives that left no room for such irrelevancies as video games.

Legacy[edit]

Because of its growing redundancy in the face of newer games, Nintendo offered old customers a chance to trade in their used golds for cold hard cash. The scheme was widely publicised, with seven in ten stay-at-home dads admitting to have masturbated to the adverts at some point.

Unfortunately the Japanese translator for the Nintendo CEO wasn't the greatest, and all those that took part in the scheme ended up with a cool hand rash instead. Subsequent attempts at suing Nintendo for this side effect inadvertently failed as the hand rash rendered them unable to point to those responsible during the court hearing.

Group # 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
Period
1 1 H
hydrogen

0 n
neutronium
Illogicopedian Elements

2 He
helium
2 3 Li
lithium
4 Be
beryllium

5 B
boron
6 C
carbon
7 N
nitrogen
8 O
oxygen
9 F
fluorine
10 Ne
neon
3 11 Na
sodium
12 Mg
magnesium

13 Al
aluminium
14 Si
silicon
15 P
phosphorus
16 S
sulfur
17 Cl
chlorine
18 Ar
argon
4 19 K
potassium
20 Ca
calcium
21 Sc
scandium
22 Ti
titanium
23 V
vanadium
24 Cr
chromium
25 Mn
manganese
26 Fe
iron
27 Co
cobalt
28 Ni
nickel
29 Cu
copper
30 Zn
zinc
31 Ga
gallium
32 Ge
germanium
33 As
arsenic
34 Se
selenium
35 Br
bromine
36 Kr
krypton
5 37 Rb
rubidium
38 Sr
strontium
39 Y
yttrium
40 Zr
zirconium
41 Nb
niobium
42 Mo
molybdenum
43 Tc
technetium
44 Ru
ruthenium
45 Rh
rhodium
46 Pd
palladium
47 Ag
silver
48 Cd
cadmium
49 In
indium
50 Sn
tin
51 Sb
Antimony
52 Te
tellurium
53 I
iodine
54 Xe
Xenon
6 55 Cs
caesium
56 Ba
barium
*
Lanthanoids
72 Hf
hafnium
73 Ta
tantalum
74 W
tungsten
75 Re
rhenium
76 Os
osmium
77 Ir
iridium
78 Pt
platinum
79 Au
gold
80 Hg
Mercury
81 Tl
Thallium
82 Pb
lead
83 Bi
bismuth
84 Po
polonium
85 At
astatine
86 Rn
radon
7 87 Fr
francium
88 Ra
radium
**
Actinoids
104 Rf
rutherfordium
105 Db
dubnium
106 Sg
seaborgium
107 Bh
bohrium
108 Hs
hassium
109 Mt
meitnerium
110 Ds
darmstadtium
111 Rg
roentgenium
112 Cn
copernicium
113 Nh
nihonium
114 Fl
flerovium
115 Mc
moscovium
116 Lv
livermorium
117 Ts
tennessine
118 Og
oganesson
* Lanthanoids 57 La
lanthanum
58 Ce
cerium
59 Pr
praseodymium
60 Nd
neodymium
61 Pm
promethium
62 Sm
samarium
63 Eu
europium
64 Gd
gadolinium
65 Tb
terbium
66 Dy
dysprosium
67 Ho
holmium
68 Er
erbium
69 Tm
thulium
70 Yb
ytterbium
71 Lu
lutetium
** Actinoids 89 Ac
actinium
90 Th
thorium
91 Pa
protactinium
92 U
uranium
93 Np
neptunium
94 Pu
plutonium
95 Am
americium
96 Cm
curium
97 Bk
berkelium
98 Cf
californium
99 Es
einsteinium
100 Fm
fermium
101 Md
mendelevium
102 No
nobelium
103 Lr
lawrencium