HowTo:Go to Orpington

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Orpington is a mysterious land far away from everything else. Here is how you get there:

  1. Go to London King's Cross Station.
  2. Run through the barrier of platform 0.[1]
  3. Hail a helicopter from the roof.
  4. Fly to Hindley.
  5. Take a bus. Ask if it goes to Orpington.
  6. If the driver says 'No', get off the bus, if the driver says 'Yes', buy a ticket.
  7. Go as far as Manchester by bus, then take a train from Victoria. Soon you will arrive at Jordanhill railway station.
  8. From there, hire a private plane. Fly above the clouds, then above the rainbow, you will arrive at The Ism Party HQ.
  9. At the HQ, enjoy some cake, then hail a taxi. Wait months through the drive to the day the driver finally says, 'yes it goes to Orpington'.
  10. A few years later, you arrive at Subbuteo. Its capital is Orpvingzon.
  11. That's the best you can ever get to Orpington, I'm sorry. I went to heaven in a taxi before.
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  1. Not what you expected eh?