Readmesoon in Space: The crappy knockoff

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This product is kept in the fireplace by RMS

“How could they not send me into space.”

~ RMS

“¬_¬”

~ Testostereich's likely reaction to this article

Public Deeds[edit]

Getting into space is no easy task. You have to do a lot of good stuff. Then you have to get the space agency's approval ratings at at least 13% (those bastards don't approve of much).

So what did I do? Simple:

  1. Save some kittens from a tree
  2. Just be awesome
  3. Er, yeah

“127% approval rating. ”

~ Space agency board

Contact[edit]

Space agency: Did you just save those kittens from a tree?

RMS: Sure did.

space agency: You'll hear from us.

RMS: Buh? Who are you anyway?

The next day I received a telegram (I don't trust email or the internet, or phones, damn technology!):

Welcome aboard, sailor!
Your actions of gratitude have got you into space, laddie. And, the good thing is, we'll give it to you in a discount price: $1,000,000,000. This message will self destruct in .12 seconds
Yours,
the space agency

Transitioning[edit]

The suits are heavy, hot, and don't feature a bathroom. And sitting in a space ship tree hours before launch is no fun either.

RMS: I have to go pee!

Space agency: sorry, you'll have to wait another millenium

RMS: feck

3,2,1, Liftoff! Wait, nothing's happening... crap. forgot the gas.[edit]

After another 6 hour delay I finally flew into space, and blew up the moon. Nothing more fantastic that chunks of blown up moon! space rock pelting Earth!

<insert song title here>[edit]

an ode to my flight:

<insert song here>

Testes just got robbed![edit]

So much for originality 'round here!

See also[edit]

Vanity
General Vanitizing & Stories
Silent Penguin's Bogus Journey
Testostereich: The Man, The Myth, The Bellend · Testostereich in Space
JON · LIAM · Readmesoon: The Untold Story · Ben: Retired or Desired?
Readmesoon in Space: The crappy knockoff · Zimizmizm · Frunobulax
The Big Bang as viewed through a straw · Gruntled (disambiguation) · Black and Silver (condensed cheese product) · Illogicopedia writer honored by Time Magazine · Cookie for the puppy, fuck the kitties · Illogicopedian saves day; becomes national hero · Samuel (cat) · You have two cows/1 · HowTo:Write a Vanity Piece · Natural Surrealist Party · Gruntled:An Origin Story · Fonchopedia · I am the Chosen One · Forum:The ballad of Monsignor Peaches · We Java alligators · Tomorrow yesterday · 9,347,829,013,865.00187 · My Journey to Illogicopedia · Why is zim_ulator? · Piddler
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