User:THE

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  THE has attained 14 star(s).   The Incredible Adventures of the Screaming Mango Agressor:Part TWO. The tree narrates that he's Penguilicious. Boris Wikipedias his destiny. You make gewd pickle and repel the vandals. A Small Civilization examines U.S. currency, condemning it to the afterlife where it slaughtered untold billions, billions of Jesus and Stana fingernails. 

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Hi. I'm THE.

Theeze are my writings.


Proceed at your own risk.


EPIC artikles are at the top in BOLD.

The rest of my writings are underneeeeth in the order they were written.

The Incredible Adventures of Melville Amsterdam and the Collapsible Ironing Board

The Incredible Adventures of Melville Amsterdam and the Collapsible Ironing Board: PART TWO

Boris and the American Dream

Lightbulbism

The Three (or two) Brothers (and sister) and the mighty Secession Tree

The Monstrous Monster from the Murky Marsh

The Most Honest Person Of All Time

People do the Funniest Things! (kollab with Teststostereicch)

The Tremendous Appendix of Infinity

A Small Civilization

Santa Claus the Socialist Menace

Slugs.

The Aliens

Tree Hunt!

Henry Decides

Gertrude

Nigel The Newspaper

Party Time!

The Barber and the Gerbilsucker

Man With Toad on Head

The BAGEL incident

The old woman in the corner

A Story About a Moral Dilemma (Cake)

The Main Character

Cabbage

Carpetbaggers

11:35

Slip

Cough

RFD

Spamoo

Mistake

Europe

Portugal

A hamster on a keyboard

Idiot

45

Ink

World War I

Curious

Blueberry Pie

Icky moose

Disappoint

I looked under my doormat and found a mango and started screaming at it even though mangos have no ears (IS FEEAT)

Warbler Mangrove

He puked?

Manitoba

Yellow

Does Something Funny

Yes

The Microsoft Word Paperclip

You are snoring

Kitchen Utensil Experiment, part 76

Can rocks laugh?

Gurble

EYES

Canticum Sacrum

But if he did that, he'd explode

IllogiNews:News articles becoming anticlimactic

LisTeN tO the hOleS

POTTERY

SPLINTER

Seamus

The Pencil Incident

Unsuccessful searches are often caused by searching for common words like "have" and "from", which are not indexed, or by specifying more than one search term (only pages containing all of the search terms will appear in the result).

ChocalhouSeamus

Preeble

Houses aren't made of salt

Iggy's Wheelbarrow

I Made a Salad

The Marauding Armies of Can I have a Slice

Tinkle

Aeghywylk

Euiis1s

Abraham Lincoln

The Doorstop

Gum Wrapper

Another day, another wombat

16...16

Planet of the Grapes

......................

Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble CARROT STICK!

No, I don't think so

The Armpit League

Phlegm Biscuit: An Underdog Story

Dentistry

During my time in Belgium, I seem to have forgotten what the Heimlich Maneuver is. Can you please describe it to me?

Island

Hahahha, we will edit your SOUL

I am attempting to think of a creative title for an article

Monumental and Impressive--Gee Willickers!

Category

Entropy

I HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO DECIDE WHAT OBJECTS TO SMASH

No i thought you could cook tomatoes

Excerpts from the diary of Reverend Increase Mather, 18th century preacher

Mileva Maric

WahT? NoNE?

OH JEEZE. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE OL' DOCTOR WAS BEHIND ALL THIS.

Nuclear Bomb

Smell Me

Bill the Ostrich

The Yodeler

O-OO O-OO

Captain Gargle Saves the Day

16 people

Cam Tram Lam Bam Mim FOOZAAAH! Creegle, Neegle, Sheee-woop! Da-ding, Da-ding, Nubbleeeeeey! Ca-bow, Ca-Bow, Fa-TING!

Reagan the Cross Town Armpit

WHOOSH!!!

Why has nobody ever nailed a paintbrush to a wall?

Nicaragua (old man in picture frame)

Bob Ross

Shoopah

Captain Worpp? Captain Worpp? Are you gonna eat those candle wax?

Oh no I ripped it

The Land of the Unidentified Lump just to the Right of the Shoulder Blade (...If I ever ate that many hamburgers...)

Metonymy

Riff-Raff

I just got a pop-up on the right side of the screen that said "The Love Button---Push me hard!!!"

Marble

Parrot Time!!!

We're gonna go to the spaghetti

An article written while listening to "Whipping Post" by the Allman Brothers Band

A public event of some sort

Nothing but napkins

MEH SHAVE

Concealed Portions

Cranberry Man

Yum, two month old Vicodin

Are You Still...Naked?

Inspiration & Hair (Bloody bags!)

The Black Box‎

If you press a flashlight to your eye (closed), you will see giraffes

Inspired by Fork.

Wikipedia Your Destiny!

The Legless Hippo Returns Triumphant

How Smart are YOU?

Les Choristes

FffffffKEYfffffffffBORED

(O)

Acne

A Page composed of several of my older edit summaries from this site & illogicopedia compiled into a sort of free-verse poem

IllogiNews:Wikia turns us all into IP users again (IP)

STEM BIALO FROM EAR EXPLAIN

Every morning you wake up and say hello to your ceiling, though it doesn't listen. If it could talk, this is what it would say.

Alfred

The Comfort of One's Couch (mucus)

Furniture Watching‎

If you give a walrus anything in particular

Pizza Poking

Another Story About Wadsworth (the protagonist from two of my previous articles, "Party Time!" and I think "Acne")

Malpractice: How Big is YOUR Elbow?

Blanket

Crew trainer, cook, cashier, order taker

My search for the elusive ANSWER.

Elmo Loves You

In the hospital (after being set on fire)

Samuel slater

2001: A Snail Odyssey

Step Inside (Other side of street)

The Ant Who Never Slept

Public Photography Exhibition

They Screamed so Loud that Nobody Heard Them

Phone Abstinence

Unnecessary Information about THE

Muffins: Fact or Fiction?

Canned Feathers

Patient Intake?

Please Return Red Table

The sky is a giant blue thing above your head

The Letter Q becomes His Master

Draft dodgers

HowTo:Predict the Future with Poop

Butch's X-TREEM antivirus software

Alphabet Soup

Spinge

Spinal Cord

Trapped in an Elevator!!!!! AAAAAH!!!!

Meep (rewrieet)

Donut

Wait...Whose Brain is This?

The Counter Game (Great Time-Wasting Fun!!!!)

C is for Calculus (rewkwest)

Rapist (a rewrite of some sort)

CARE!!!!!!!!!

Gruesome Mildred

Olive's Slimy Autumn

The Belly Button Article

Whoa my gosh (rewrieiet.00)

This is the 180th article I've written on illogicopedia

Computers Smart Enough

Wadsworth Cleans Poop off the Walls

Jeopardy: Cancer Edition

Why didn't he talk?‎

MY HEADPHONES NO WORK NO MORE

Banana Dissection (Nsnsns Foddrvopm)

The Contact Lens Procedure

Paul Newman's Eyes Look Really Strange When They're Upside Down.‎

Exitium!!!‎

The Safari

The Stages of Life

The Adventures of Timmy the Horse Head

Whenever I hear somebody speak Latin, something happens to my eye‎

Arnold

COncUu1l‎

Time. Bedroom. Night. Fan.

Bizarro World

The Title of this Article Is NOT Ambiguous in ANY WAY!!!‎

Apricots

Hedgehog Insertion

Ancient Flying Reptiles

Amazon rose

Corporate Sideburns

If you press "random page," and land on this article, the world will end in exactly one month

An Article About Libraries and Spiders

Nom Nom Use, Nom Nom Nom, Nom Nom Nom Nom

I cried for a day

Cockroach Shows

R (Garage) G

Carrot Abuse

Wikipedia (Scratch and Sniff Version)

HowTo:Summarize Hamlet with One Word

McNipples

The Incredible Captain Rectum

Clarence Dwinkly Award for Shoe-Tying Excellence

HowTo:Impersonate a Boulder

Apnea

Brain Reading‎

The Psychedelic Haircut Experience

HowTo:Get the Girl of your dreams to Notice You

I Threw Up and A Baby Came Out

A Lot Of Static

Jesus Give me Ice Cream!!!

The Stand-Up Raisin

Rings of fire drawing themselves around one's neck in a lasso fashion, then proceeding to strangle one with the power of hellfire itself.

His Brother of Giggling

7 signs of rapture

A Peice of Paper Came out of My Nostril

Breast Implants For Babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday Denyers

An Attempt to Type With My Belly Button

Puke Mart

Sexual Innuendo in U.S. Currency

Mr. Twin Pads

The Man who had an Itch

Puddles

Rip Poker

After Reproducing in a Bed with an Armadillo in It

Friendship Talking Television

Car Crash World

The Awkward Moment Registration Office

Manburgers

Where did All this Cheese come from and Why has Nobody Yet Eaten It?

Scattered Like Body Parts in the Shower after the Phone Rang

All Dead Since 1859!

Eleven Twelve

Nottle Sludge

Allgemeine Anlageverwaltung’s balance sheet structure

The Man with Skyskrapers for Legs

The French Fry Slaughterer

GLURIIC

Blowdry Thinks

Hippie Salad

Tasty Poison

The Entire Population of Europe in a Bathtub Day

Vlulgaa's Vluxueyx

The Jesus-Satan Arm Wrestling Competition

The Guiness Book of People who Haven't Broken any World Records or done anything worthy of Notice

Highway Solitaire

Giving Birth to Saxophones Forever

The Pregnant Women's Football League

Man With Toad on Head

YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GO ON THE TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patriot Poop

Composed Spring Cookout

Love Story

IllogiNews:Research reveals that Jesus was crucified on a Rubber Duck

I Had An Idea But I Forgot It

Freedom of Peach (I REMEMBERED!!!!)

URRRGH Salon

Grandma Derby

Adacemidc Tew3p

Contrary to the Opinions of the Gentlemen from New York...

The Miserable Howls of Goats and Watermelons

Awkwardness Parties

Mother Cosmic

Let's Build a River out of Plastic Wrap

Our admins do NOT abuse their powers!!!

The Disturbingly Perfect Marriage of Lucinda and Fred

Blueberries! Blueberries! Not wheelbarrows, but same jaw smack!

One-Second Speeches

Yet Another Fantastic Idea

A Different Kind of Luck

Billy Mays, Michael Jackson, and their Goldfish

The Poor Man (and his Ice Cream)

Baby Pig is Trapped in Skull

The Whole Truth has Changed the Shape of its Mouth

Trampoline Autopsies

Reassembling a Dead Duck

Attempted Photocopy Lesson

Ambient Wiggle Legs

At the Top of a Very Tall Building

The Guy Who Went Hunting for Lions in the City

Celebrity Poop Collectors

Identity Crisis in Barbershop Mirror

Richard's Recreational Roadkill Baptism

Good and Evil (in a Tent)

TV Funerals

Amateur Cosmetic Surgery Made Easy!

This Morning I woke up in a Sandwich

Three-Prong Receptacle

Squid (Birth Control Device)

The Toes of the Nun

The Palace of the Empty Soda Can

The Apocalypse Lullabye (Awake)

The Articles I Lost

The Foot Fungus

Coffin Apartments

Mount Rushmore (Intestinal Version)

You Must got Soda in Your Blood!

Kitchen Zebras

Sneeze Dream

Bath Whale!!!!

Sidewalk Snorkeling

Revolving Pumpkin Head

Wet Paint

Creatures with Ankles

HowTo:Create a Meaningful, Happy Life for Yourself Using Nothing but Paper Towels

The Romantic Behind the Toilet

The Melancholy Crayon

Two Questions

The Banana Censorship Brigade

A Couple of Two Posters

The Art of Awkwardly Introducing Yourself

Representative Mustard

History Thing

Dave's Quiz Show

Daddy's Limbs

Toothpaste Tube

ALLERGY MEDICINE CASSEROLE

I Miss Pretending to be a Suitcase

Listening to Happy Potatoes

Mudcha

Song of the Fire Alarms

About Winter

Christmas at the Mall

Doctor! Doctor! I'm only Spleens!

The Society for Telling the Poor you Feel Sorry for Them

Is He Singing, or is it Phlegm?

Ruth considers slightly more meaningful vocalizations

Let's Cover up all the Sad Things with a Really Big Blanket

Under the Crab Therapy

Long Conversation with Aching Back

Normal Activity

Man Talks to Wooden Sign

The Thrill of Traffic Jams

The Solo Career of Paul McCartney's Kidney

Plastic House of Representatives

Chlorophyll

Shall we Enter Vacant Towel?

Suspicious Man with Very Large Coat

Whose Moss Gives

Creating Divinity with Poultry and Awkward Accompaniment

New York (Pondering Concrete Cookies)

Replace the Sponge

Newly Found Stable Face

Nightly Bludgeoning

Mouuuuurnful Sqeuuue

Henrietta the Cheerio

The Back of the Television

Plastic Surgery at the Gas Station

The Three Sentences that Could've Solved All the World's Problems

I think I Hear Your Wretched Clapping

Freight Never Bears Train

Triple Tongue Rotation

The Plunge

Regarding Always Quite More Strangely

Man with Yellow Beard Places Each Person Inside a Space Helmet

VryatjW MAvojw3

Man Reaches Destination by Place Built of Shovels

Get Born Again Inside Our Tents!!!!

Thoughts While Reading T3canolis's Article "Thoughts While On a Roller Coaster"

Lights Folllalla

Shakespeare's Vomit

Carol Opens the Window, then Closes it, then Opens it Again

Clown Mouth Revisions

Brushing Your Teeth in a Godly Manner

Burt the Barfbag Ponders Love

House Marshmallows

Childhood

Tree Football

Basically Juggling Canoes

A Lung on the Sidewalk

Acne-B-Gone!

Without Face

People Coming out of Other People

What He Meant By His Own Way

Onion Fingers

They're Not Gonna Want Me There Too Early

Genital Dolphins

The Flow

Panda Dice

A Cannibalism Joke with Undertones of Societal Commentary and Dystopian Satire

Never Do This With a Rolling Pin

Wouldn't Be IF N

Magnificent Cushion

The Splarch

Dribbles

Unrelated Quote Guy (ritten lonng ago on uncyklopeedia, brott bakck from the ded thanks to Fonch)

The Daze

With Sticks

Phloem

Empty Chairs (...and be human?)

Take Care of My Dirt

Out the Dinwp

Dinner Table With Pillows

A Concert is a Blender

Sprinkles

Dolly Sue

A Man Eats a Lemon and Then He Goes to the Dentist

He Kicked the Wart

Pilots Some Big Bigger

Self-Awareness Exploded Everything

Schneider's Pizza

Bare Hands

We're Basically Books (I saw Humanity in those Sugar-Covered Sticks)

Base Calling

Rat? Kitchen?

Pent Up Magpies

Tub Turtle

Shears

Canoeing the Sandbox

The Mess

Already