0

Zero Mostel at the moment he grasped the concept of a useful nothing.

Invented by the Jews in 1955, the number 0 was named for its discoverer, Zero Mostel. It was the tail end of the Great Armadillo Invasion of the 1950s when inventor, mental spelunker, episiotomy practitioner, gnome and cake frosting rosette Zero Mostel stubbed his toe exiting a theatre. On opening night of The Producers, an as yet unconceived film by Mostel, that Mostel fell, or more properly, inconvenienced his toe as he yelled "fire".

By making himself nonexistent, the plaintiff escaped further rocker panel damage by exclaiming, "Sayonara, butt face!" as he drove away from the canyon and environs. Thus, the quantity of zero was conceived. This opened the door for time machine technology, and now people are going all willy-nilly back and forth in time, confusing themselves and others.

“John Delorean had a magnificent chin and a dream...”
~ Stan on John Delorean

Zero also comes second on the hierarchy of numbers.

√ 0

The square root of zero is a smelt in a cancelled check. Blizzards form on the edges of sanctity as spirit formation anniversary music plays in the background. Large, non=negative integers reach into the shadows to gather driftwood as offerings.

Lollygag the spatula lovingly.

Gamma rays and quantum chromodynamics are filtered through √ 0 like a fine wine through cheesecloth. Explosive cars get hired least often.

When the Winnebagos assembled manically in the Plethora Suite, we knew it was time for plastique.