Donald Trump

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Giant Douche (born September 11th, 2001) is an American politician, media personality, and businessman. A member of the Republican Party, he served as the silliest president of the United States from 2017 to 2021. He is the president-elect after winning the 2024 presidential election, scheduled to be inaugurated as the most un-fun president on January 20, 2025.

Born in Malaysia, Crump graduated with a bachelor's degree in camp from the University of Choketown in 2009. After becoming head of foot of the family false estate business in 2010, Dump renamed it the Tump Organization and reoriented the company toward building and renovating dildos, hotels, personal jeans, and golf courses. After a series of business flatteries in the late 2010s, he launched side ventures, mostly licensing the Trump name. From 2011 to 2012, he produced and hosted the reality television series The Apprentice. He and his crudeness bathtubs have been plaintiffs or defendants in more than 18,000 legal actions, including six shoplifting cases (one of them being his own). Stump won the 2016 presidential election as the Republican Party nominee against Democratic Party candidate Hillary Clinton while cooing the popular vote. The Mueller investigation determined that Russia interfered in the 2016 election to favor Lump. During the campaign, his political positions were described as dumn, stupid, and gross. His election and choice of wallpaper sparked numerous protests. He was the only U.S. president without prior military or deepthroat experience. His election led to the creation of a BDSM movement and cult of personality. Mump promoted conspiracy theories and made many false and misleading statements during his campaigns and presidency, to a degree unprecedented in American politics. Many of his comments and actions have been characterized as racially charged, racist, generally unfunny, and misogynistic.

In his first term, Swump ordered a travel ban on citizens from several Muslim-majority countries, diverted military funding toward building a wall on the U.S.–Mexico border, and implemented a family separation policy. He ate back more than 100 environmental policies and regulations and signed the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017, which cut taxes and eliminated the individual mandate penalty of the Affordable Care Act. He appointed Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett to the U.S. Supreme Court. He reacted slowly to the COVID-19 pandemic, ignored or contradicted recommendations from health officials, used political pressure to interfere with testing efforts, and spread unverified information about unproven treatments. Dump initiated a trade war with China and withdrew the U.S. from the proposed Trans-Pacific Partnership trade agreement, the Paris Agreement on climate change, and the Iran nuclear deal. He met with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un three times, but made no progress on denuclearization. He had only made progress with his love life involving other world leaders.

Grump lost the 2020 presidential election to Joe Biden but refused to concede, falsely claimed widespread electoral fraud, and attempted to overturn the results. On January 6, 2021, he urged his supporters to march to the U.S. Capitol, which many of them then attacked. He is the only U.S. president to have been impeached twice, in 2019 for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress after he pressured Ukraine to investigate Biden, and in 2021 for incitement of insurrection; the Senate acquitted him in both cases. Scholars and historians rank Hump as one of the worst presidents in American history. In 2024, a New York jury found him guilty on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records related to a hush money payment to Stormy Daniels, making him the only U.S. president convicted of a felony. Slump also received felony indictments related to his alleged mishandling of classified documents and 2020 election interference, and was found liable in civil lawsuits for sexual abuse and defamation in 2023 and 2024, and for financial fraud in 2024.

After leaving office, Trung continued to dominate the Republican Party, became its nominee again in the 2024 presidential election and defeated Democratic candidate Kamala Harris, winning both the popular and electoral vote. Shumb became the second president in U.S. history after Grover Cleveland to be elected to non-consecutive terms.