Forum:Let's get this show back on the road.

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Good morning/afternoon/evening all.

I think it's fair to make the observation that Illogicopedia has been in something of a comatose state for about a year or so. This isn't to dismiss those users keeping the wiki plodding along; your enthusiasm is admirable and equally baffling - but activity in general is (in my half-arsed estimations) at an all-time low. I'm not going to launch into why I think this is, as such things have already been discussed in a 'those-were-the-days' type fashion on another recent thread.

Following a brief trans-atlantic conversation on a popular social networking site, in spite of awkward timezone differences, Readmesoon and yours truly have come to the fascinating conclusion that stuff needs doing. I'm going to float some of these ideas here;

1. Some sort of redesign.
   1. New logo?
   2. New Main Page?
   3. Blog re-skinning? (not as important)
2. Bringing back old users (esp. admins) - getting in contact, hopefully in the least stalkerish way possible.
3. Doing something pro-active to attract new users (a tad risky).
4. Launching an article creation project; similar to the Article Improvement Drive from long in the past.

I'm particularly in favour of the last one. If we can persuade a few inactive users to return, as well as getting current ones involved, this could really take off. This would probably consist of reaching a certain target number of new (decent quality) articles by some point in the future. As for the redesigning stuff, feel free to pool concepts. Personally, I lack the creative drive or imagination to think anything of the sort up. I fully understand that there will be users that may not be too keen on changing the well-established look of the site however.

Some partly-serious opinions on all this would be greatly appreciated. Also, check out my short proposal on the future of Logimalpédie if you desire.

Thank you all. --Ben ^Blade 21:51, 16 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

If I might, I'd like to make a few observations of this place:

Illogicopedia has more or less been the place I edit when I'm bored or when everyone at Uncyclopedia is being mean and whatnot. I don't pretend to have done a lot for this place; I've reverted the odd vandal, written a few articles and gotten one new user I know IRL to join, but I am aware that there is a major problem with what I shall call "your average article length". I'm gonna be quiet honest here, I know that Uncyclopedia has several one liners of their own but they have over 4 times as many pages and a hell of a lot less than here. It is not good that your 50th shortest page is only 8 words long. This is a bad thing for several reasons:

• People will read what exists before they write something here. More or less to find out if this is their sort of place or not, if the first thing they read is an 8 word article that isn't even a witty one line joke then we are making a terrible first impression.
• Some major or semi-major topics are taken up by utter garbage in this case (Wart, Lying, Broken to name a few) whilst the experienced editor knows they can simply edit over what exists a newbie may not and be discouraged from writing something lengthier and funnier than what exists.
• Lack of SEO which reduces site traffic even further
• Short articles are a complete pain to expand on, it's easy to expand on something where the author has given some sort of flesh to work with but if they haven't even given you a complete sentence it makes it difficult to finish it for them.
• Newbies get the impression one line is all they have to write

I have overcome this my simply writing longer articles (1kb - 4kb range is good imo) but if this is the length of "a good article" you really can't compete with other humor wikis (Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica may be different styles of humor to here but they ask on average at least double of our "best articles". The result? They are right up there in Search Engines; Uncyc and ED both score first on a search of their respective site motto's whilst we only get 2nd and 3rd AFTER Uncyclopedia's article on us.)

Next thing I'd suggest is work on getting a more active set of administrators and rollbackers. As hard as it is to let go, some of the accounts have been idle for years and should be de-opped. We have one truly active administrator (a couple of others also around a little bit) and one bureaucrat who is at best here on the very odd occasion. Coupled with that about 3 or 4 active to semi-active rollbackers. I know this has been brought up before and been replied with by the bureaucracy with "the site is small hence the administration is small". If you want the site to grow, you need an active administration. I'd recommend this:

• 1 fully active bureaucrat
• 3 fully active administrators (this includes the bureaucrat mentioned above)
• Any amount of active rollbackers who want to assist with whipping this place into some sort of shape.

And before anyone goes off about how we don't need them if their is users to ban, pages to delete etc I'd like to point out that it makes the site look dedicated to it's own success, anyone with a role should be expected to make any new user that comes along feel welcome and wanted and to start steering them in the right direction whilst at the same time finding the crap that is frankly plaguing this place and either getting rid of it or making it into something worth reading.

Anyway that's my opinion right there. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:12, 17 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I just spent the last half hour getting through all of that, and all I can really bring myself to say is yes, we should stop making articles that are shorter than the length of my pinkie toe. Likewise, expand the ones which currently exists as such. If they're short, they're probably shit, so just blow that thing right out of the water and 1. Obliterate it into the deletion pool or 2. Stuff it to the brim with at least a lazy attempt at redeemable content. As for getting active participation, it would be just handy dandy if we could suck a few Uncyc users over (that's how most of us got here, after all). —rms talk 01:56, 17 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

@Frosty This idea of a redesign of some sort sounds cool. How about changing to vector and adding a more fitting logo with that skin? Or is that too much like Uncyc? ~[ths] Keeper of the Bloodwine 00:25, 01/20/2013

I think we should definitely move to Vector as default skin. I've been using it on this wiki for ages now, and although the logo looks perfectly fine, a new one might be something we can look at.

Also, while we've screwed our sane heads on for a brief moment, I'd like to announce that I have been in lingually stunted discussion with Kamelopedia, a German-language wiki similar to us (except with Camels instead of Bananas and thousands more articles) about becoming sister projects. I'll keep you all posted. --Ben ^Blade 01:08, 20 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

The site skin is probably the least important thing when it comes to reviving a site. Content fixing and new users is what will change the currant situation. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 01:24, 20 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I read the title and a few lines and I agree. I'm lazy, let me read it later, but for now, I shall blindly agree with you, Ben. --Ryan ^u _t ^c 06:59, 20 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

As they say, it's the thought that counts, Ryan. Also, Frosty, while I agree with your raisining (currant - raisin, somebody stop me), changing the look of things to appeal to potential new users surely can't be a bad thing.

Good news, everyone! Illogicopedia and Kamelopedia are now sisters. See my blog post for the whole (brief) story. --Ben ^Blade 14:29, 20 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Read it now. I'd love to see this wiki restored to its former glory. --Ryan ^u _t ^c 14:36, 20 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Has anyone seen the road? ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia 18:08, 9 Jumbly 2013 (UTC)

Outline of intenshuns

Okay, I'm going to strip down all the stuff I've gathered from above into some simple points:

• Pushing forward with the Article Improvement Drive - this is the most important.
• Changing the default skin to Vector.
• Widening horizons for the wiki in terms of external relationships - possibly more like what is happening at present with Kamelopedia.
• Maybe some changes to the signing-up process - spambot-created accounts litter the wiki, even if they fail to make any edits.
• New admin?
• More frequent updating of IOTM & Featured articles.

If we pull our collective finger out of our asses, we can get this done. Again, thoughts would be valued.--Ben ^Blade 10:42, 21 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

You have my sword, or something like that. --Ryan ^u _t ^c 11:01, 21 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'd put my two cents here, but I already left it on the wiki some time ago. Either someone picked it up and stuffed it into the pockets of their cheap polyester slacks, or it rolled between the floorboards somewhere. Ick. In any event, with inflation accounted for, my two cents is pretty worthless now... ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia 15:35, 21 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Whatever happens, let's make sure we remain a wiki until the end of time. ~[ths] Keeper of the Bloodwine 20:49, 01/21/2013

?Pedia will be around until Seppy runs out of money, or if CarlB's servers ever explode. --Ben ^Blade 21:19, 21 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I have one of them job things, so give it a week.--Silent PenguinLeave Me Alone 16:35, 28 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Captcha

We need to stop the useless spambots. —rms talk 06:19, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

They create accounts like crazy, but are (for the most part) unable to make edits, so I'm thinking we should tighten up on the signing up process. The technicalities of doing this might be a bit difficult however. --Ben ^Blade 07:58, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

This is why I proposed a Captcha, it would stop them dead in their tracks and surround them with FBI agents like a fugitive on the run. —rms talk 15:01, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

It seems that it already asks for people to answer a sum when creating an account (like it does when you post URL's on articles) but for some reason the bots are getting past it... they're becoming intelligent and self-aware... I'm scared.--Ben ^Blade 17:32, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

This has reached ludicrous levels tonight, there's a new account being registered every minute, no exaggeration. Something needs to be done, fast. Restrict account creation for a day or two while we sort it out?--Ben ^Blade 21:53, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Yes I support the above. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 00:34, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Captchas just aren't that effective anymore, even the ones that keep out humans too - what we need are more targeted anti-spam tools like AbuseFilter and/or Phalanx that can be calibrated to specific sorts of non-content. More difficult here than most places, but still enough to probably keep out the worst of it. -— Athyria 01:34, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'm still here

I get emails all the time about stuff being edited. Just been really busy and frustrated that many times, the site is really slow or even fails to load. We really need to get this thing on some decent servers. There was discussion about that, about a year ago ... but no one followed up and really got it done. --Nerd42 (talk) 14:27, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Yeah. Touch wood sexually, the server problems seem to be less frequent, but we still live in fear of the constant threat of 404-ism.

Since you're one of the bigwigs Nerd, what is your opinion on changing to Vector? Also, could you me the little favour I've asked Gruntled about? Tanks. --Ben ^Blade 17:41, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Uh, yeah. I'll do that. At some point. First week of classes tho, and getting another of my awesome mashup albums ready to release on the 31st, so I'm kinda busy ATM. But it's quite right that we need to get our WWW dot show back on the road dot com! --Nerd42 (talk) 18:20, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Whuh? --Colonel Sanders (talk) 18:12, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

It's Homestar Runner. --Ben ^Blade 18:46, 22 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Hey guys. -- $H_{olleH}^{ello}$ 00:33, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'm actually really impressed by this. —rms talk 02:38, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I think 'OMG' is the appropriate acronym here. --Ben ^Blade 14:36, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'll probably start writing here some. The server seems to not be trying to eat me and my writing style on Uncyclopedia is becoming much more space-brained lately. -RAHB 06:56, 1 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

It's been so long since I've checked Uncyclopedia that I don't even know how to write content for it. At least here you can have the brain of a mountain lion with an irregularly elongated head which in turn causes the brain to shrink slightly and still create "acceptable" content. —rms talk 08:11, 1 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

We can move this place to more maintained servers

Uncyclopedia and ShoutWiki would both be willing to extend hosting if the community still desires to migrate. There would be upsides and down - in either case an active team of developers would mean messages are likely to get a response, things like captcha and permission issues would be addressed, extensions would be installed when requested and there would be more central anti-spam functions, things should be more up-to-date in general, and bugs are likely to be fixed fairly quickly, but sometimes there may be downtime and ads are a possibility as well. Account handling may also potentially run into some weirdness when migrating especially considering how previous moves were handled, but it should be handleable in either case.

And apparently the reason carlb never responded when I requested the database earlier because he couldn't find evidence of an on-wiki consensus. That's what he said when I ran into him later, anyway. Might have helped had he instead responded at the time and mentioned it then, but now's now and it does mean there is a possibility of a relatively painless migration if folks want to, as he may indeed hand over the database without issue. If not, you would just need to refrain from editing for a couple of days and we should be able to move it the same way we did Uncyclopedia (the refraining from editing should help prevent some of the bugs they are now encountering).

Would we still want to do that? -— Athyria 19:44, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'm not sure whether we should move again. I personally wouldn't be all too keen on moving to Shoutwiki, something irks me about going to a wikifarm again, though I'll admit this is a view entirely influenced by our time at Wikia. As for heading over to the Uncyclopedia.co servers, that's something I'd be much more open to, and the move they've just done looks to have gone pretty smoothly. However, if it's possible to address the spambot issues where we are now, then that's the option I would take rather than moving to new servers.

If we're not moving, can we at least switch our skin to Vector? Our current look is so mid-noughties. --Ben ^Blade 20:25, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Hi. - NotReallyMyUsername t c u 2013-01-23T22:35

I support the moving to uncyclopedia.co's servers because they are actually reliable. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:10, 23 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, I guess that is probably the most practical thing to do. There is no point in us trying to increase traffic if the servers are just going to keep crashing whenever more than 20 visit the site at once. marbury (talk) 04:19, 24 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, Ben, being able to do more about the spam and change things (like skin, captcha settings, etc) if we want to is a large part of why we'd want to leave, on top of the just plain unreliable servers and somewhat broken MediaWiki. Of course what all we would want to change may be a matter for more discussion, but just having the option there would probably be nice for folks. -— Athyria 03:16, 3 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Now there's a 'formal' vote here. It's mostly for show, but sometimes we really need that show, and for all I know this is one of those times. -— Athyria 10:22, 3 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Admins

Holy shit. You, yes you. No, not you, YOU. We don't have enough active admins, and I feel like if anything that has to be the first thing we tend to. QD means QD, not Lol We'll Delete This a Year From Now, for example. Ryan ^u|t|c 08:27, 24 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'll delete them when I'm not too busy doing other stuff besides deleting them. —rms talk 01:29, 25 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I know, that's not the main problem. If we had more active admins most of the current related problems would be fixed. Ryan ^u|t|c 06:18, 25 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

We've had this debate so many times before. Seppy is irremediably deadset against adding more admins because he envisions our tiny, tranquil paradise (well... deserted island) devolving into some sort of police state. I think it's just a question of giving keys to the right people. Given that there is still unrest here and has been for a long time, it's safe to say he's wrong. Either the people chosen were the wrong people, or there aren't enough of the right ones with keys. In any event, doing the right thing on this site wouldn't fit in with the illogic we're trying to promote, so chill, tune out, light up, and enjoy the plunge. =) Alternately, you can start your own site, keep it nicely well-manicured, and fret that people still don't use it. If anyone wants to write ?-related news/policies for The Foundation, let me know. On my Drupal site (and on the MediaWiki version that preceded it) I was pretty free with handing out admin keys to people who could help. No contests to win, no hoops to jump through. ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia 14:33, 25 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I have no problem with a few more admins. Having said that, I don't take myself seriously, and neither should you. Cheers. 23:42, 26 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I am pro adminning Mars cadbury who seems to edit here almost like MadMax edits Uncyclopedia. Also because new admin(s) is a good idea. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:31, 28 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Second. OK, sure... why not? As long as he knows, he has to make his own bacon pancakes. Some us keep Halal and Kosher here. 17:12, 28 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'm more-or-less in favour of appointing one or two, but let's not fall into the trap again of thinking new admins will fix everything. Only a mother's kisses socialist-esque community effort can do that. --Ben ^Blade 17:29, 28 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

Have we fallen in that trap before, because I don't remember. Must have been my original face before I was born. 02:49, 29 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

This all sounds positive and encouraging. Unfortunately, the only opinions here that really carry weight on the admin question are those of the Vampires (Seppy, Nerd, Hindleyite). While H was favourable about adding admins before, nothing came of it because ultimately it's Seppy's call (and "We don't need more admins." "We're a small wiki.") ~ The Bard of Illogicopedia 15:31, 29 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

New admins or not, we have to do something about this spambot problem. This is just getting ridiculous. Today alone there must have been at least 200 spam accounts set up. marbury (talk) 04:43, 30 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

I'm worried they might be dormant spambots. If they all started spamming now, I have no idea what we'd do. --Ryan ^u|t|c 07:16, 30 Jeremy 2013 (UTC)

A New User Captcha would stop this problem to an extent but isn't that a server thing? Sepppyyy, we need thine word! :P -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 20:45, 1 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

all right

If there are no objections from Seppy or Hindleyite within one week, I'll adminify Mars Cadbury. I'm a busy, busy guy in RL so I haven't had much time for illogicopedia-ing. Especially what with my album having come out yesterday. </plug> --Nerd42 (talk) 14:49, 1 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

No objections here. And I lend my support to the switch to Vector while I'm at it. Hey, did I see HelloolleH contribute somewhere on this page? That pricked my interest, I must say.

I echo what Nerd says about activity. When Illogico was first set up back in '07 I had loads of time to waste in between wasting time at Uni but things have changed in six years. I have bills to pay and crap now, which sucks but it was bound to happen at some point. These days I waste my spare time at other projects, but I will try and find time to throw together some layouts and stuff for the blog in the next couple of weeks.

If there's a chance of me 'coming back' in the near future it'll probably be in an administrative capacity with the occasional update ont' blog. I shall make it my personal job to make sure Illogiblog at least continues to exist in some form, huzzah! -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 20:33, 1 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Responsibilities suck, man. I was a kid when I joined here, now I have university (which is still too many responsibilities for me to handle) Ryan ^u|t|c 05:53, 2 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

If this means that we no-longer receive the absurd amount of "This wiki has a problem!" error messages then I'm all for it. -- Another n00b (talk) 15:12, 3 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Probably need a new server for that. -— Athyria 22:40, 3 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

I know, darn inevitable life changes! —Flutter ₧: over 9000 02:49, 25 Aym 2014 (EDT)

Less fun but easier to use suggestion

One thing that I really think would help with attracting new people would be setting all the tabs back to their regular standard descriptions. "Go insane" should just be "Edit" and "Babbling" should just be "Talk" and so on. The goofy tabs are/were fun, but I think they may be confusing to new people and stop them from trying to edit. --Nerd42 (talk) 16:40, 6 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

The main one I could see confusion arising from is "Go insane". Most will know what 'babbling' means and the 'past' in "Past Frenzies" should give it away to most. --Ryan ^u|t|c 05:56, 7 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, I agree with the Ryanator, we should probably change the editing tab to something more obvious, but still more-or-less in theme. Some poor suggestions; "do over", "shape up", "jazz up", "polish", "make strides", "boost", "perk up". --Ben ^Blade 11:12, 7 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Ryanator. What a perfect name for a malevolent carnivorous automaton. --Ryan ^u|t|c 11:27, 7 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Change the snazz! -— Athyria 09:35, 9 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

How about "mess up"? --Nerd42 (talk) 04:10, 13 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

I was thinking mess up too. marbury (talk) 07:09, 13 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

I think someone suggested that originally, but it was deemed that it would encourage vändalism. It needs to be something silly that vaguely refers to improving an article in my oprahpinion. --Ben ^Blade 08:24, 13 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Ok, what about improve with quotes around it?. "Improve" That way it implies that you are changing the page for the better, even if better still isn't very good. marbury (talk) 09:00, 13 Farbleum 2013 (UTC)

Really, anything other than resetting to the standard, boring Wikipedia tabs would be defeating the whole point of this proposal. --Nerd42 (talk) 04:14, 10 Jumbly 2013 (UTC)

Cupcakes

Did anyone think about maybe luring people here with cupcakes? Just an idea. --|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 16:39, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

I get a refill on my meds on Monday. Maybe something will happen then? 16:41, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

I was thinking maybe we could go to some insane asylums and give the inmates computers that only have access to illogicopedia. Maybe then we'd see more activity.--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 16:56, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

This isn't connected with Scientology, right? 17:01, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

It's all about boyscouts.--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 17:03, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

I'm down wit dat, son. 17:06, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

This sounds interesting...except it's possible they'd just want to destroy things rather than create them. Destroying things can be fun, especially when you're funny in the head, if you know what I mean. ❦ Flyingcat (meow?)fr: 19:16, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

Im not even funny in the head and I think it's fun to destroy. Grmblr. must. wreck. everything in sight- BAGLOOOORGLOOBA KEEP ITS NIPPLE CLAMPED LEST HE ESCAPE!!!! --|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 19:51, 21 Aym 2014 (UTC)

I hear the netherworld's got some pretty good cupcakes. ~ Good tidings! ~ 13:19, 22 Aym 2014 (UTC)

Some people prefer cupcakes. I, for one, care for them less; a paraphrase from a Frank Zappa song. 23:54, 22 Aym 2014 (UTC)

I don't know much about cups but believe me when it comes to beavers I--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 12:51, 23 Aym 2014 (UTC)

Cups are a card suit. Symbolic of everything tasting like chicken. Even Quorn dogs. 13:23, 23 Aym 2014 (UTC)

ok but really

For starters, if we are going to ever revive this wedsite. which is a goal we should all aim for, we first need a tally of the active members. Everyone who exists, tell me your favorite type of salad. yeah how do we take a proper tally... how can we make sure people see this?

I will start.

1. I like strands of hair and powdered farts in my salad.--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 15:06, 23 Aym 2014 (UTC)
2. I enjoy anything vaguely food-related. (maybe we should put a link to this up somewhere so that other users actually know this is going on?) ~ Good tidings! ~ 10:15, 24 Aym 2014 (UTC)
3. I'm not really active but I'm signing anyway. My favourite salad is one where all the vegetables get replaced with ice-cream. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 11:34, 24 Aym 2014 (UTC)
4. Tally of active users, is it? I'd rather apple pie. er, apple pie salad? Oopsy. ❦ Flyingcat (meow?)fr: 04:27, 25 Aym 2014 (UTC)

• The reports of my secretly being a masked vigilante who haunts the streets of Seattle looking for ways to kill Rex Velvet are greatly exaggerated. Oh, and I'm not dead. That too. --Nerd42 (talk) 21:16, 18 Yoon 2014 (UTC)

Do we

need to stick this still?

well, because we ARE alive again. problem is solved! 👈 lol 👉  lol w/ me●JOIN US
History of lulzz  👉 lol 👈em /w lol●SU NIOJ
zzlul fo yrotsiH 11:08, 4 Aym 2017 (UTC)

You sure? XY007 (talk - contribs - business) 22:57, 4 Aym 2017 (UTC)

Well, one problem is. we are still facing a lot more. 👈 lol 👉  lol w/ me●JOIN US
History of lulzz  👉 lol 👈em /w lol●SU NIOJ
zzlul fo yrotsiH 03:51, 6 Aym 2017 (UTC)

Well that sucks. We thought it was alive. Calling All Necromancers!

Is it completely dead? If we use enough voltage, can the corpse be made to sit up? Stand up? Groan? Take a faltering step?

2+2≈5, whose name I can't spell without looking it up, is doing a bangup job of holding back the oncoming darkness, but it seems to be a singlehanded effort. And should he (or she?) eventually fall there will no longer be anything between the Hordes of Chaos and the unprotected, still feebly beating heart of the realm, and the final curtain shall come down at last on this play which has long since gone into overtime. The actors, mouthing the same lines for the thousand factorial time, glance nervously out over the footlights -- why is the audience so quiet? Is there an audience? Or is it just an auditorium filled with empty seats? Are there even any seats? Is there anything at all out there?

And this sucks because, to be honest, this is where I've been putting what feeble bit of output I produce for quite some time now. And so, my publisher is on the verge of going out of business!

We need to find new users, folks say. I can't help with that; it's advertising and I know nothing of that black art.

But we should at least make an effort to avoid repelling existing users, and should any bluebirds fly in through the window we should try to avoid immediately chasing them back out (or feeding them to the cat). Sir Frosty says our articles suck, and that's a problem; well, so be it, we can't fix that save by picking at them one by one. So sure, do that. But just about everyone agrees that our front page sucks, and improving that should be a bounded effort. In my arrogant opinion, there are several things it needs.

1. Symmetry. It used to have more. It needs more. There are issues with the layout as it was designed, in my opinion, and there is a fat image in the Illogiblog which is throwing things off, and nobody who's active can fix that stuff.
2. Images. It should have some. It used to have some. I just glanced at it -- there are currently exactly three images bigger than an icon on the front page, and two of them are accidents:
   • The banana in the upper left corner
   • Some broken toilets I put in Sandalism
   • Donald Trump (in the illogiblog).
3. Finally there is an endorsement of Donald Trump right there on the front page. Unless you read the whole article, it looks totally serious. Unless you've been living in a cave without Internet for the last 12 months you must be aware that for most of the audience we might conceivably bring in, that's a major turn-off -- somebody new wanders by, they see Illogicopedia endorses Donald Trump, they're probably out the door and we never see them again.

I realize a number of our founders are conservatives. None the less, you still must realize that Trump is singularly unpopular with a lot of the population, and, rightly or wrongly, he is associated with a lot of bad stuff in many people's minds. Our purpose here isn't to tie Illogicopedia to some particular brand of politics, win or die and go down trying, and I really think we need to get Trump off the main page. Replace him with Putin -- it would more obviously be a joke and I think he's more popular than Trump in most quarters. Or replace Trump with Kelly Anne Conway -- at least she's got decent hair. Or ditch the Illogiblog completely until there's some fresh content -- it hasn't been updated since before the last election.

And we should try to get a featured article up there. We've got one that's passed the bar -- Plagiarism -- but frankly, I don't even know who to talk to about how to get it featured, and our one active admin is already tied down 12 hours a day with all the kangaroos vandalizing the place.

Maybe we need a forum to pick out some decent images, and then stick a few out there on the front page along with the other stuff.

Anyway enough ranting, I need to go do something less interesting than updating Illogicopedia now... Snarglefoop (talk) 20:12, 28 Arply 2018 (UTC)

(Half a year later...)

If someone with good wiki coding skills wants to draft up a new front page we can put it to a vote or something. I'll be around for a short while and I wouldn't be against giving a more active person some user rights, but I think we should create some consensus for that too. :-) -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 12:23, 11 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

Also - it's my fault that Illogiblog is breaking the front page - it's that long image in the third entry. It'll be back to normal after the next post though. -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 14:10, 11 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

So I looked at the front page again (I try to do it at least every six months or so; I was behind schedule this time) and what the heck?? It actually looks sort of OK. And DT is gone. And the Illogiblog has some reasonably new and more or less entertaining content in it, and has a sort of updated look, too. Have we been invaded? Were we taken over by Russians? I have no idea what to make of this. (Whatever, the changes are certainly positive!) Snarglefoop (talk) 15:27, 11 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

Illogicopedia has been invaded by great big yaks! Run for your sanity.

Seriously though, I might only be here for a short while before I completely disappear again. Hopefully I can help out before then. :) -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 11:32, 13 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

Hi

hi. --Nerd42 (talk) 20:38, 13 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

yo -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 22:15, 14 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

Illogicopedia has a god who forgets how to make pasta. The Supreme Leader XY --- sacrifices and capitalism 23:43, 14 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

Feed it. -— Athyria 00:13, 15 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)

Wanna have a vote on something (e.g. best ice cream flavour (vanilla)), Nerd42? :) -- Hindleyak  Converse • ?blog • Click here! 22:06, 15 Jeremy 2019 (UTC)