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Not to be confused with Feature-Bait

This banana does things to feature-baters' bananas.

To Feature-Bate is to masturbate to featured Illogicopedia articles on a regular basis.

“Oh, yeah, Remembering to breathe! That's real good!”

~ Illogicopedia user, while masturbating

Most feature-bating is done to one's own articles. This makes it extra weird.

“That never happens.”

~ T3canolis, with penis-in-hand, What's the Point? on his computer screen

What kind of egomaniacal, sex-crazed type of person does it take to gain sexual pleasure from one's own featured articles? I have no clue.

“Oh, jeez... I, um, sneezed a lot... on my monitor... And Peesmell just happened to be open.”

~ Testostereich, with his zipper suspiciously unzipped