How to test for STDs
How to test for STDs
Getting Started[edit | edit source]
Could you have STDs? Who knows? Well, you might have some, so it's best to check to make sure. First, gather the following:
- An envelope
- Some sealing wax
- Some GAM DURHN TUNA
- A liquid hypocrite
- Two wax bananas
- Eighty dollar's worth of Femminazi™ Brand lipstick (Kill All Men Pink™, if possible)
- A statue of Obama sitting in the lotus position
- A left handed coffee cup
Got All That? Great![edit | edit source]
Good! Now we can begin. Close all the blinds in the room and turn out the lights. Place the Obama statue in the exact center of the room. It's face should provide sufficient light to see by. Now take the envelope and seal it with the sealing wax. Place this under the statue. Melt all the Femminazi™ lipstick into the left handed coffee cup and pour it over the statue. Throw the liquid hypocrite on the ground and eat the wax bananas and GAM DURHN TUNA while waiting. After 45 minutes, sing Dancing In The Moonlight while blindfolded and standing on your head. The end of the ritual is near.
You must now rub your right hand all over the Obama statue, while your left hand pulls the envelope out from under it. Bow to the statue, and turn on all the lights in the room. You may now break the seal and open the envelope. If the note inside has a drawing of a moose or dragon, you are good. However, a poorly drawn troll face garuntees STDs. A winking emoji could mean either.
That's All, Folks![edit | edit source]
I hope you found this guide helpful! If you did get a troll face, I can say only one thing: Sucks to be you!
