Premature Ejaculation Man
"Stand back people, this fire is dangerous!" yelled the mysterious masked man, shielding several scared pedestrians with his overlarge bicep. Kneeling down the man picked up a shard of what looked like glass from the recent explosion. He looked at it with curious intent, as if by merely staring at it he was able to determine something.
As the moments wore on the sound of sirens began to cut their way through the abnormal calm of the night, their shrill blast bringing a sense of reality back to the melancholy of the scene. All eyes were still firmly on the man, who was now holding the shard up to the light.
The hero doubled over, writhing in awkward release.
The public groaned.
"It won't happen again."