The Wooden Condom

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The Wooden Condom. Forged deep in the jonny factories of Mordor, this terrific invention mixes longevity with pleasure to create a condom that'll totally eradicate the hurried rubber search that irks every virile man on the go, splintering the need for all other forms of birth control! Why not buy grandad one for Christmas? He needs as much help getting wood as it is.