Phone Abstinence

Phone Abstinence is a safe alternative to phone sex. You call an attractive female, but instead of having intense sexual conversations with her, you sit in silence with her for a half hour. Then you hang up.

Phone Abstinence is popular in Christian compounds and the Vatican. It has been outlawed as "obscene" in places such as Las Vegas.

That's the end of this article. I hope you enjoyed it. I honestly, seriously do, because I typed it with my own two hands, and my elbow (in the case of the comma that came after "hands" in this sentence). Yes, I typed this article even though I had to use the bathroom. Urinate, in fact. So I really hoped you liked it. I really do. Really.

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Sex

	Sex	Intimacy \| Love \| Masturbation \| Orgasm \| Sexaholics Anonymous \| Sexual Innuendo in U.S. Currency
	Anatomy	Ball \| Bollocks \| Boobs \| Erection \| Deep-fried semen \| G-spot \| Penis \| PENISPENISPENIS \| Reproduce Juice \| THE VAGINA \| Vagina \| Penis Envy
	Sex Acts	Bondage \| Buttsecks \| Flogging \| Foreplay \| Fornicate \| Homosecks \| Masturbating \| Pedophilia \| Phone Abstinence \| Rape \| Rape and sodomy \| Rapism \| Sexting \| Sexual Intercourse \| Feature-Bate
	Homosexuality	Butt pirate \| Coming out \| Gay \| Gayboy \| Homo erectus \| Kinsey Scale \| Lesbian \| Mail prostitute \| Queer duck \| SpongeBob GayPants
	Other Sexy Things	An orgy in full flow \| Are You Still...Naked? \| Callgirl \| Cooties \| Exhibitionism \| Hermaphrodite \| Heterosexuality \| Hobbit Sex \| How to test for STDs \| Interstate 69 \| Mia Khalifa \| Penis Warts \| Pornography \| Pr0nz \| Premature Ejaculation Man \| Sexuality \| Squid (Birth Control Device) \| The Illogipedian's New Clothes \| The Wooden Condom \| Venereal disease \| Your parents have sex

Phone Abstinence

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