Phone Abstinence is a safe alternative to phone sex. You call an attractive female, but instead of having intense sexual conversations with her, you sit in silence with her for a half hour. Then you hang up.
That's the end of this article. I hope you enjoyed it. I honestly, seriously do, because I typed it with my own two hands, and my elbow (in the case of the comma that came after "hands" in this sentence). Yes, I typed this article even though I had to use the bathroom. Urinate, in fact. So I really hoped you liked it. I really do. Really.