Penis Envy

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"Man, I wish I had that…"

“Wow, that dude has a nice cock!”

~ Man

Penis Envy is one man's jealousy of another man's penis. It comes from either the size, shape, or overall look of the penis being better than your penis. The envy involved stems from the illogical sense of pride the average man takes in the qualities of his penis. One of the first things a man does in his puberty years besides learn to shave and get nervous around girls is take stock of what he is working with in the genitalia department. Therefore, men don't take kindly to penises better than theirs.

The first case of Penis Envy the average man has is on that unfortunate morning in their childhood where they accidentally catch a glimpse of their father's wang. No matter how big a man's penis eventually becomes, it will never be as big as the mental image of his father's penis. This upsets most men.

“Woah-ho, there, champ.”

~ A man's dad on his son catching a glimpse of his wang

Penis Envy never goes away and may only get worse. This leads to everything from natural male enhancement pills to suicide. With that being said, all men should be assured that the author of this article has a larger penis than them.