Giant Crowbar

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It's actually pretty big
The last known photograph of the Giant Crowbar

The Giant Crowbar was a weapon of great power created by the Atlanteans in the year 509 BC. This single weapon was more powerful than any other weapon ever made, including nukes. Unfortunately, it was lost when it went through a wall during the restoration of the Atlantean king's palace in 510 BC.

Early History[edit]

Creation[edit]

The Giant Crowbar was created in 509 BC by Atlantis's top blacksmiths. It was made from an alloy of magic steel and magic plutonium, and forged at exactly 6090 degrees Celsius. It was then coated in a magic, crystal clear, anti-rust coating.

First Use[edit]

The first time the Giant Crowbar was used in battle was to defend Atlantis from the rival Tacoslavians, where 2,000 Tacoslavians were instantly decapitated just from seeing the Crowbar, and the other 45,000 were reduced to ash 3 hours later.

Battle of The Desert[edit]

The Giant Crowbar was utilized in the Battle of The Desert to explode the arms of 5,000 Arab rebels in the year 69 BC.

Later Use[edit]

The Battle of Russia and Poland[edit]

In 576 BC the Giant Crowbar was loaned to Russia so that the Russian Army could kill all the Polish peasants that were enslaved to the Icelandic Peace Corp. No Polish slaves survived.

The Battle of The Golden Trumpet[edit]

During the Battle of The Golden Trumpet, the Giant Crowbar was utilized to create mass panic among the proletarians of Atlantis and ultimately drive them out of the city.

Fun Facts[edit]

  • The Giant Crowbar is exactly 8 feet, 3 1/2 inches long
  • Looking at the Giant Crowbar is will kill you
  • Looking at a picture of the Giant Crowbar will give you AIDs
  • The Giant Crowbar likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
  • The Giant Crowbar once got loose and murdered 47 schoolchildren before being caught
This article is part of the
ILLOGICOPEDIA GUIDE TO WEAPONRY
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