The LORD thy COD

From Illogicopedia
(Redirected from Deity)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
A jeans fuzzyly related to God is Illogical list of gods, maybe you should look there

God sitting on his throne and coyly posing for a picture. He's such a tease!

“There's a little bit of God in everyone of us - except them, and especially not they!”

~ The Luffer on God

“There is no God”

“There is no anonymous”

~ God

“That joke is old”

~ Another anonymous

“I like God because he doesn't move.”

~ A Deity Hunter

“For my sake!!”

~ God on being stressed

“Your mocha latte sir”

~ Gods assistant, the pescatarian leprechaun

God is a guy that can fly around the universe and can make awesome omelettes. He also brings presents to children every year on December 25th (oh wait, that's the Easter Bunny). He is half wombat, half human, half squid, half nightlight, half sourdough bread half butt. He's also half-cat, half-dolphin, about 75% cotton candy... mmm... Inside Out (film) jokes are so pass(e). God is also Dog spelled backwards. God and all his affiliates are merely a small part of The One.

He was born in my balls

He's so great that he owns five swimming pools! And a holy template! Template:God!!!!!!

Hi guys

my reply: hi how are you

Theme song[edit | edit source]

God's theme song, to be sung whenever his mighty presence is felt, is as follows:

All together now!

GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD
Oh baby, He can fly in the sun
DOG GOD GOD GOD GOD
He knows how to have a tremendous amount of good healthy fun
Ohhh...GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD
If you sneeze he will die so don't sneeze or he'll die and we don't want that to happen
GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD
He loves you and me and even some trees, aint he just....the BEES KNEES!! Oh yeah...

God's true nature[edit | edit source]

Allah

Ignore the following:

oh wait shit i thought it said "name" not "nature"

oh well

We don't know what his true nature is or something because we here at Illogicopedia and The Dingus Bungalow are agnostic. If this section is "God's true nurture", then I don't even know what this article is about. On a related note, I don't believe in some supreme being even though I don't know that supreme being's existence. That's what being an agnostic is all about. Seriously!

God's Creationy Process[edit | edit source]

It all started in the first week(that God created by the way). God and some other all-powerful beings like Buddha, the Easter Bunny, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and toast decided to make reality, out of sheer boredom. God got in a fight, since ya know He is a compulsive gambler and all and just lost to the Toast. He wanted to show them up so he decided to create the universe and all who inhabit it. SO it goes like this:

  • 0th day: How can there be day zero? That doesn't even make sense. But he's God, so he can do damn well what he please. And there's nothing you can do about it. So don't even try. Ok?
  • 1st day: God created the air, the sea, land, realized He should make land first so He made land THAN the sea. Afterward He made things like birds, dogs, cats, and Pokemon. But than He decided to put the Pokemon in there own world hence them being put underground 'til He made Gameboy Cartridges. After that He just wanted to sleep so....
  • 2nd day: He slept 'til noon woke up and just made a midget He called man than "ripped out" a rib and gave the midget a girlfriend. There names were Adamus and Eevee. But He legally changed there names to Adam and Eve. Than He made a place for them to eat and live which He called Atlantis. But once again changed His mind so He went through the paper work and made it into The Garden Of Eden
  • 3rd day: God made more land and more sea, more birds, catfish and dog fish, and rock 'n' roll which He kept to himself 'til about the time of Jospeh. Than He unleashed him into the world and Josph made Sweet Child 'O Mine, Stairway To Heaven and so forth and so on.
  • 4th day: He slept in AGAIN and decided to turn back time to the morning and spent all day making Law and Order. Yes, God himself made the TV show as He liked it.
  • 5th day: God realized 5 days in a week are too short so He made 2 more.
  • 6th day: God went for a stroll in Atlantis....I mean The Garden Of Eden, chatted with the midgets, ate some fruit, watched soccer which He just invented, drank water which He invented, and made hamburgers which He DIDN'T invent. Adam made those for Him in order to suck up and try to get a big screen TV for him and the wife. God gave him a 4 by 4 foot one.
  • 7th day: He rested like no other God before Him rested. Which actually NO other God before Him had rested. But little did every one know He made butter that day. So that man could one day eat The Toast and all of his offspring. Sweet, Sweet Revenge. Plus He made a Gameboy so he could play with his Pokemon. He loves his Pokemon. Especially Charmander.
  • 8th day: This doesn't even EXIST....yet? Mind...blown.

What People Think of God[edit | edit source]

Most people hate God. Among these are emos, goths, chickens, ducks, cats, hippies, Satanists, people who use Microsoft Edge, and n00bs.

However, some people are in love with God. Each night, they complain to him and ask him to do stuff for them (because they believe he has time to listen to them). Some even listen to boring lectures about him in church. God finds all of this quite amusing.

The Bible[edit | edit source]

About a zillion years ago, some dude wrote a huge book about him describing his adventures. Of course, God knows it's all lies. But the people don't know that, so they read the book, only to find out that Snape kills Dumbledore at the end of it. Oops, that was a spoiler, wasn't it? Oh well, I just saved you about 5 25 bucks.

Gods Mcdonalds Order[edit | edit source]

Because God is big chungus, he goes to earth to order mcdonalds regularly. Here is his order:

  • 5 big Macs with 8 pounds of ranch. (he gets 734289% of his daily polyester servings from ranch)
  • 70,000 fries with 500 quintillion gallons of inorganic ketchup.
  • 7 Whale size Oreo shakes

This order generally takes 72,000 years to prepare, causing minor inconveniences.

See my balls[edit | edit source]

Gods
Antebellum cthulhu.jpg

André BretonBONJOOK, The Banana GodCheeriosCthulhuFlying Spaghetti MonsterGaneshaGodGod 2.0G-dGoshGrim ReaperGrim SweeperGuruJoccu-ThanKrishnaMega PP godMonkey GodMr BlobbyMr. Peepers, the Duck Hunt dogPrincess StargloQuetzalcoatlRococo BasiliskSpace SatanThe God of Fried Chicken DrippingsWalterXenu

Antebellum cthulhu.jpg
Everything
Primary measures TimeSpaceGodExistenceExist"A"nceGravityElectricity
Worlds The UniverseWorld of WarcraftHello worldAnti-Earth
Beliefs ChristianityPaganismBuddhismChristianityRandomismCausationScientologyAtheism