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Thirteen Commandments of the Goatians

1. Y should not be Next to U.
2. Thou shalt not covet neighbours duvet.
3. Thou shalt not takes Goat's Name in Rain.
4. Thou shalt then always prepare the Umbrella.
5. And let the Slipper guard you from the Roach.
6. Always graze your parents.
7. Do not steal the Goat's Hay ([The Hay remains in dispute as to its definition due to linguistic difficulties and the presence of cheese.])
13. Thou shalt not turn your wiper on when driving, ever.
16. All Goatians keep goaties.

The Pink Goat was put on the Kebab by Roachians, and all true Goatians wept at the Kebab. Lol, there is the Kebab!

(The Kebab is still being debated whether metaphorical or actual in nature.)


The Pink Goat died on the Mutton Kebab and was resurrected from the Roachian Pits (also known as Chow Kit) and he rose as vapor and ash from the Great Hole of the Roachian Pits, and spoke to the Virgin Lamb and the 13 Goatian A-Postmen.

Since then, the world was divided between Goatians and Kebabites. Never since the First Man's sin, has the world known such error.

All Praise the Goat!
Oh Great Goat!
There is no other Goat but Goat Itself
Smite me with your goatiness!
And the Pink Goat is Its only Pinkie!

Heil Ziege! Heil Ziege! Heil Ziege!

There is no other Goat but the Goat and the Pink Goat is its Pinkie!

"I am Pki. Kaafar.
Pinkie Jaafar.
Your ulama to the Goatness on High or also known as Ustaz Goat/Rabi Goat."

A local author alludes to this fact in the novel "Lantai T. Pinkie Kambing"

GOATSE is the Anti-Pinkie.

Branch of Goatians[edit]

  • Humantarian Goats
  • Muahahah-ists
  • Goamunists
  • Anargoats
  • This is Goat Milk?-ists

Piesangism is a whole separate branch of the Faith, revolving around comparisons of a banana to the divine Goat's horns.

The 5 Pillars of Goatism[edit]

1. Goat is Goat. 2. Goat milk is for goat. 3. Never drink goat milk. 4. Never pray. 5. Never breed goats or humans.

Goat boys are killed for Roachians and humans to steal goat milk since Roachian times. Never lay with the traitors as friends.

Quartenitarian view on Goat[edit]

  • Imaginary Goat
  • Complex Goat
  • Rational Goat
  • Integer Goat
  • Goat of Gamblers

The wife of the Kebabite's Goat's kid moved to France.

From the Quartenitarian Book (considered as a reliable source, according some 5-year-old children) The Goat and the Helel Ad Rioch engaged in heavenly battle, and The Goat, with the might of His Divine Slipper, did send the Rioch into darkness.

The First Man did make the Error of feeding the fallen Roach, and that was the first "Aiya!". The Roach has forthwith corrupted the world with the Book Of Book Of Book Of Siu Keong, which is an Anti-Goat writing!

Damned be the Siu Keongers!

They will taste the dirty, sticky Hell of Roach's domain, instead of the minty fresh cleanliness of Goat's realm.


BRING THE HOLY LOVE JOUICE! Shelltox Bomb special. And the Holy Name of Goat shall prevail! With Shieldtox! And maybe Ridsex.....

"Verily, with Shieldtox may you be free from unhygienic evil.

But the people of Sodamn and Gomenasai did not heed this message, and they were destroyed within three working days."

Pink Fluffy Slipper[edit]

Since the great battle between the Goat and the Roach, all Goatians have worn the Slipper around their necks.

The Pink Fluffy Flipper Slipper.

And prayer is offered to the Slipper as the Goat on Earth.

In defilement, Itsy Bitsy Roachy went up the water spout as a holy symbol...

What is impotent to Goatians, however, is any one of the following:

(1) The Goat, The Slipper and the Holy Pinkie.

(2) The Pinkie and the Slipper

(3) The Slipper, the Pinkie and the Shieldtox Canister

Enter the Bah[edit]

Bah bah

Do not say Amen, being a Goatian. Fascist Goats... we say Ambeht.


"Bah Bah BLACK Goat have you got any jew~

Children follow me!

Bah Bah Black sheep is there any wool

Beht, be the holy unification, Beht from the Hebrew Beth.

HOLY DAY[edit]

"Tuesday is the day that I rested, because I was busy on Sunday."

Sunday is always when the Goat is busiest.

Of the 7 days, the Goat worked only on Monday, Grazing in the Cosmos Fields.

"Record, o' carrier of the Words.
You should, my fellow Goatian,
With Oscarwilde quote.
Praise be the Goat.
And so is His Holy Name.

Ambeht, and there shall be Discohouse of worship* Where we do Dance Dance Communion.

( Disco House of worship )

And so the Goat Said: 'Let there be Pink.'
And there was Pink,
And the spirit of Goat move across the surface of the Raving Crowd,
And the goat said Let there be Dance,
And there was Dance,

The Cow-ists have their say, though.

Cowers are Cowards! To Roach Pits with Cowers!"

Relegation against Baygon[edit]

Baygon is strictly the invention of Greek Orthodox Goatians.

The following are other inventions by them:

Thou shalt not vomit cadal tree.

The Invisible Pink Goat is but a miracle of the Great Goat.

Milk-the-Goat Day is a valid hole-day.

Sadako is ALWAYS behind Dobb. It is a sign that all we say is true.

Gnostic Goatians worship the Pink Unic, The Kambelach. So when all the non-Goatians leave the ulama, that's where the goat was barbequed. Creating the Mutton Kebab. So is the Fourth Aspect of the Goat is complete.

FIRST Mann[edit]

Never since the First Man's sin, has the world known such error. Kebabites said Goatians are all corruptors who hoard all the grass in the world So the Kebabite kingdomes launched the Crusades into the Holy Grazing Fields

And made eternal war against all Goatians in the East

And, some say, the South.

Sultan Goatahuddin King Ricgoat the Lambheart (Why a raisin would rule a kingdom, however, is forbidden to discussion.)

of Goatland

While the Goatian Sultanates and Caliphates sieged the Holy City of God (Records of the reign, however, were scant. Mostly because they were scratched into the mudbanks of the aforementioned Fields.)

That's where the Ghina open up its gate to the world....

Roachinists still have a presence in modern times, Roachians practice the inverse of the Holy Book of Goatism. They practice vile activities... like writing bad fan-fiction and playing ping-pong without nets. And the Kebabites had the New Woolenment ontop of the original Holy Book and call it the Goabble


Inverted Pink Fluffy Slipper And the Kebab Skewer shall be the symbol of His most generous sacrifice With horns.

They may even inverse the Mutton Kebab This would be a Kebabite invention, though.

SACRED Goat porn. Goaterica shall it be The Goatian Grazery of Goaterica the Triple Gees

Bless the A-Postals who've delivered His Message.The Holy Discoball are kept secure and will be withdrawn every night of new moon which is.... Baaahhh

That was a dark chapter in Goatian history. Whenever you say Ambeht, make sure do the Horn sign on your head.

U know, the 2 index finger on the sides of your head

Unbeknownst to the Goatericans, Goatism has already spread far and wide in this extraterestrial planet called Earth Unfortunately, they are forbidden to actually call it Goatism. Until today. They are our Goatengelists, Gate Keeperes agent

Goat Wilde[edit]

Some of them listen to GoaTrance. Goatangelism is one of Kebabism's

main tenents So that the Pink Goat did not skewered to death in vain.

If you ever go back to the kampung, do remember the Great One by hugging the nearest goat.

BANIShing a Ronch[edit]

I banish you, minion of Roach!

The Holy Disciples of Goatian, Or also known as the Diagonal Postmen of Calamondin Groove. I forgotten the Goatian Manual of Excorcism


If all fails my child, and then it is time for the ... HOLY MULTIVIBRATOR The Utterholiest Chant will always work, but there is fifty percent chance of badness happen to the Chanter.

  • reading the utterholiest chant* Shakalaboom Shakalaboom La boom boom, Shakalaboom shakalaboom la boom boom.

GOatian stavce on Sexuality[edit]

Goatian do not discriminate the Unisexual, Bisexual, Trisexual, and even the Polysexual. The llamasexual is known to chew cuds.

The Boomboomroom invites all sexualities except homersexual (As a side note, 99.999902231% of heterosexuals... prefer the opposite sex.), That's the main difference between the Boomboomroom and the Disco

The Goat prevails! The Unspeakable Xu Chant!

Ridiculus was an early convert to Goatism, but twenty-three seconds into being a Goatian, he was eaten by a pack of rabid housecats. )

"Shakalakaboom to you!"

THRE TRAitor of Pink Goat[edit]

Arr was the traitor of the Pink Goat!

  • Mirror*

He was the one who sold the Pink Goat for a pebble! The Goat who sold the Field..... And the Pink Goat was skewered thereon

that's why Arr was eaten housecats Some sources have included usage of Yi-Gi-Oh cards as one of the "vile" activities of Roachinists.)

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