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If there were a scheme similar to the Terror Alert Color Progression, using mooses, this would likely be the visual representation of the state of the Catholic Church.

“It's like, you know, if you watch Law & Order: UK, and you get queasy watching it, because you know, they just can't pull it off. I mean, come on, Los Angeles is a stretch under the best of circumstances. What makes these heretics think they can run a con on the American public. I mean, who [1] watches BBC America?”

~ Martin Luther on schisms

Begun as a schoolboy's prank by Martin Luther', and his mates, Lex Luthor, Lexa Doig and an assortment of hench-persons in 1965, the original idea was to invade Sweden with inflatable hoplites. When the Swedish government conceded defeat, claiming not to have noticed a sudden infusion of vinyl people, King Hapgood "Whitey" Bulger declared Boston an open city. Within seconds, headless horsemen poured through the breach and flooded the casinos with apple-scented mirth. This was all too much for the rest of Europe, so Scandinavia had to be sequestered and sedated, as a precaution against future misnomers.

Tuned to the usual A 440, undigested hyenas synchronised their sanitary pedestals and put the Protestant Reformation into second gear. A succession of girly-Popes were powerless prior to the invention of the fragmentation grenade. Marvelous things were foretold, the English jumped on the bandwagon, claiming divorce is a contact sport [2] and bees are the tools of the Pope and his harlot chorus line.

Schismism relates to Gobshiism as Automated Musk Ox relates to moose.

The fish[edit]

There aren't any fish. There's this guy, though, that's been hanging around, looking shifty. He just stands there, staring at the portrait titled "ISMS", with his hands in his pockets, and this scowl. Well, not a scowl so much as a grimace. And there's two of him!

See Also[edit]


  1. Besides effete, Liberal, East-Coast boy-men with their wanks in their hands.
  2. I think we all know who we're talking about here, so let's not get all, "Ohhh, I'd never go there! The nerve of some people, with their secret handshakes, and their bloody liver parasites,", alright? You bunch of petulant Agnostics.

What is teh god? DeismPantheismTheism
How Menny? Jeez, I dunno!NONEonelotsa-1√-1
Religgens Bahá'í FaithBobismBuddhismChristianity (AnglicanCatholicMormonProtestant)DidYouKnowismDiscordianismDuncanismFlaniganismGimaladinesGoatianGobshiismGreasyHinduismIslamJainismJedismJehovah's WitnessesJudaismPandaismPanflautismPanflotsamPanfriedismPanpolynomialismPastafarianismRandomlygeneratedismSchismismScientologyShintoSikhismSithismSuper GnosticismTzarthelikalamanagurishalikidaladunakalizaralethismZeroastrianismZimizmizm
Pillowproxies ConfusionismTaoism
Pollygicians CommunismConservativeFascismLiberal
Evilootian? CreationismUnintelligent Design