From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“I tried communism once. I spent four days looting and ordering peasants - sorry, bourgeois intellectuals - to be killed before deciding it wasn't the thing for me.”

~ André Breton on Communism

Communism is the act of throwing pineapples at villains in a museum. It was discovered in 1215 by Shakespeare, who yelled "I have done it!" just before his wikipedia page was vandalized. Communism is also sometimes called communism.

Communism in Ancient Times[edit | edit source]

Communism was first performed by jesters in medieval China. The practice spread to Florida, where communism was fashionable until -312 AD, when it was banned by the government. It is said that if the government of Florida had never banned communism, Newton would never have invented the atom. However, recent evidence is now suggesting that Newton indeed traveled back in time to stop the calendar from being invented so the year -312 AD would never happen and so Communism would be abolished.

Some scholars argue that communism was never truly implemented; however its hard to take them seriously looking through the fences of the gulag. Many such scholars are suspected to be believers of logic, and should be punished with 80's music videos accordingly.

Medicinal Purposes[edit | edit source]

Communism is practiced by many people, especially in Kathmandu, for purposes of health.

Benefits[edit | edit source]

Communism can benefit one's life in the following ways:

  • Communism has medicinal purposes.
  • Communism was an early cure for cancer.
  • Communism can make people invisible.
  • If you're already invisible, communism gives you X-ray ankles.
  • Should one's elbows interfere with reciting communist pigeons, lasers may emanate from one's mailbox thereby causing innocence.

The Many Dangers of Communism[edit | edit source]

Communism may lead to heart attacks, bear attacks, tiger attacks, pigeon attacks, and attacks by asteroids. Communism also may cause paralysis, indigo, or a ban from wikipedia with two days expiry time.

Communism as a form of Socks[edit | edit source]

Communism has been knitting socks for poor people since about 3409 BC, when it was discovered that Communism, along with mental preparation, tells funny jokes.

This is Nonsense Filler Text[edit | edit source]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Curabitur consequat sem id augue. Etiam nec dolor. Cras ut enim. Vestibulum eget risus. Sed molestie. Nunc non ligula. Etiam varius augue a ipsum. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Ut viverra. Praesent consequat commodo sapien. Suspendisse non augue. Pellentesque pretium. Nunc ut orci ac odio sodales pulvinar. Sed dictum, nunc eu volutpat bibendum, tortor justo consequat dui, id ultrices dolor elit vel dui. Phasellus ultricies leo sed justo. Morbi adipiscing. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Praesent magna neque, ornare vitae, tempus eu, iaculis sit amet, massa.

Sed viverra. Donec id sapien. Sed non urna et sem posuere porttitor. Cras lorem tellus, molestie at, sollicitudin nec, ultrices et, dui. Pellentesque lectus. Proin fermentum velit sit amet orci. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos hymenaeos. In volutpat pede et dolor. Integer in augue sit amet magna dapibus tempor. Fusce porta. Aenean volutpat. Curabitur malesuada tortor vitae diam.

The Communist Creed[edit | edit source]

"Communism does not have a creed."

Mo, really, that is the Communist Creed. Which means that it isn't!!!

What was that, Curly? Did you say that it's a midget?

That's what I said, Larry!

In fact, Communism does not need Creed, when it has Nickelback instead.

See Also[edit | edit source]

What is teh god? DeismPantheismTheism
How Menny? Jeez, I dunno!NONEonelotsa-1√-1
Religgens Bahá'í FaithBobismBuddhismChristianity (AnglicanCatholicMormonProtestant)DidYouKnowismDiscordianismDuncanismFlaniganismGimaladinesGoatianGobshiismGreasyHinduismIslamJainismJedismJehovah's WitnessesJudaismPandaismPanflautismPanflotsamPanfriedismPanpolynomialismPastafarianismRandomlygeneratedismSchismismScientologyShintoSikhismSithismSuper GnosticismTzarthelikalamanagurishalikidaladunakalizaralethismZeroastrianismZimizmizm
Pillowproxies ConfusionismTaoism
Pollygicians CommunismConservativeFascismLiberal
Evilootian? CreationismUnintelligent Design