Welcomé toé Illogicopediaé.org,

theé Nonsensicalé encyclopediaé thaté anyoné cané messé upé.
Weé lové oné-linerés andé randumbé nonsensé.

Weé havé 12,398 articles in English andé theé Languagé d'É, rien en français und nichts auf Deutsch.
Creaté oné heré.

The Moon is currently in its 3rd quarter and is 55% full.
August 13, 2011 00:00:01 AM next full moon.

Beginneré's Guidé · Clické heré! · Stylé · Questionés · Helpé

Browsé · Featuréd contenté · Randomé pagé · A–Z indexé

Jedi

Jedi‘s always cast peculiar shadows. Always.

A Jedi is a follower of Jedism, a religious faith originating from Buddhism (seekers of Enlightenment), Taoism/Daoism (seekers of Balance) and Sophistry (seekers of Entertainment).

According to the recent census in the United Kingdom over 2.5% of the population class themselves to be of this religion and it is widely regarded as one of the largest growing minority religions in the country.

History

The word Jedi is derived from the ancient Punic words jedee (je-dee) meaning master and dia meaning deliberation (or debating) making Jedi the master debaters of the Carthaginian lands of Corsica. The name was given due to their great powers of persuasion, as they were often used as diplomats in times of conflict. So a Jedi was a great debater that follows the teachings of the ancient Carthaginian people. Modern Jedi however have begun to change that definition.

Archive • Vote for featured articles >>>

Recently featured: Satan Explained – Spy Story – Colonel Sanders – This Page is Useless – Time Cubicle – Foals – Martian Luther

SCENE 1 EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET – DAY

Wide shot: street, slow zoom in, with children playing. It's a bright and sunny day. Yes, the setting of this story is actually quite pleasant.

Narrator: “"And so begins the day when children play, to fill their spouts with honey and clay. But will it end in the exact same way? Or for our heroes, be it their last day...?"

It won’t be of course, since it’s not real.

Camera stops zooming in. Kids stop playing and look at the camera.

Narrator: The writer could make the characters invincible if he wanted. Besides, the writer prefers doing happy endings… what? Oh sorry, I’ll keep quiet.

Camera starts to zoom in again. Kids continue to play.

Narrator: “The tale begins on Hallowe'en down at a conspicuous police department…

Did you know...

...that the thcrotum actually has nothing to do with cannabis?
...that Ariana Grande licks donuts and holds fingernails?
...that the hawk tuah girl committed rugpull?
…that your mom is the original your mom joke?
…that that smell is coming from you?
…that prolapsed colon is not the best safe word?
...that since 0.9 is greater than 0.11, 9.9 is numerically smaller than 9.11?
...that you are now manually breathing?
...that demons are the nice awkward nerds of the invisible world, demonized for fun and profit by many a smooth operator skillfully leading people through realpolitik, PR, and disinfo campaigns?
...that shifting nostrils, no longer moored by mores and morality, can move great distances? Great moral fiber is needed to tether them securely.
...that illnesses appear upside-down when untidy gravitational interactions rule the day and night?
...that Blue Öyster Cult may be a cult?
...that Fischer Random was invented for the express purpose of making opening theory prohibitively difficult?
...that GIMP has layers?
...that your nose contains many cats?
...that no monster ever truffled bunnies backwards for a pig's breakfast?
...that while cheese curdles, fluff fnurdles?
...that Pepperidge Farm remembers?
...that memory believes before knowing remembers?
...that the slim noses of the 24th century are sneezing this past into shape as you read this?
...that suspended chords are sus?
...that the insertion of ants into the tooth cavities of whales has been found to be the true cause of paranormal phenomena?
...that if you have any coins, you insert them in the coin acceptor before inserting bills in the bill acceptor?
...that Hungarian-Austrian-American actor Bela Lugosi's metabolic processes have ceased?
...that if you have McAfee and Norton running at the same time, your computer will be twice as protected, so you should totally try it?
...that my friends wonder what is wrong with me?
...that my cat is so mean to me even though I am nice to him?
...that 6 is smaller than the egg?
...that you have consumed blotter art?
...that you are a drug user?
...that a bear did cocaine?
...that even in these times of instability, Illogicopedia will always remain the banana site?
...that stupid crimes are dumb?
...that 100 Popes will fit into a FIAT?
...that there was way too much sauce on the pizza?
...that "Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band" is actually a distinct group from "The Beatles"?
...that it was a mere accident of history that the "Satanic Panic" became an actual mass hysteria and not just another campy Halloween song along the lines of the "Monster Mash" or the "Ballroom Blitz"?
...that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans?
- ...and that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon?
...that robots don't care where you've been?
...that there's a cat named Dog?
- ...and it enjoys walks?
...that you need to have water in order to drink it?
...that ChatGPT is a toy, not a tool?
...that if you want to know what God thinks about money, you should look at the people he gives it to?
...that during the n^-1th Academy Awards on March 0th, 2022, Will Rock slapped Chris Smith in the face?
...that we have the ~~fuck~~duck?
...that Illogicopedia is not a cult?
...that some lesser-known deities are working hard to get fruity through the use of people who are bananas?
...that cats are not the Logos, according to the golden long one?
...that an abnormally diffuse pressure on your nose indicates that you have passed the test? Angels administering it were pleased at recent successes.
...that Stephen King Dedede doesn't exist... yet?
...that Gromit is actually the dog?
...that James Bond is probably a distant cousin of Jack Ryan?
...that my neighbour ruined my sand castle?
...that Illogicopedia promises to deliver more yellow journalism in 2023? Using green ink, no less – thereby showing how to make the unripe ripen, in line with having the whole banana!^[1]

Notes

↑ It's not as clear where the purple prose fits in – but it may generally go along with colorful language, maybe a whole rainbow of it.

Moré DYKs – Yeté Moré DYKs – Addé youré owné >>>

Hoté Offé Theé Pressé:

Man Forgets How To Breathe, Goes "Up There"

AI researchers warn against catastrophic clicks

A panicked Xanderhal scrambles to buy tanks upon tanks of grade-A copium after this week’s presidential debate!

Woman in jail because of owning a computer that is currently running Windows 7

Woman Missing Since She Got Lost

Apple Inc. has to clarify that they did not invent apples

Recent graduates are nothing to sniff at

EXCLUSIVE: Doomsday Clock set to -100 seconds to midnight

Eric Cartman: "Mom, I want a Twinkie"

We are not far from 12k farticles

Uncyclopedia Dramatica Becomes REAL

My friend is getting Doom Eternal for Christmas

Jonald Truden Breaks Down During a Meeting

Use Windows 8.1, then you may be at risk. DON'T USE IT!

Windows 8.1 will be unsupported in less than 2 months

We are growing a list of Wikimedia sites

Jonald Truden Commits Treason With His Bare Hands

Google is brought to you today by the letter Ñ

Horoscopes for April, 2021

It's swimming

Jonald Truden dematerializes and instead replaced with variant by the name of John E. John E. Affirmative papa jr.

Leprechaun Dies of Covid-19

Tips for dating an Aries woman found in local trash can, but it was clickbait

Raisin Bran

Wikipedia declared SUS!!!!

Jonald Truden materializes and becomes a reality bender, US capitol Washington DC becomes hot spot for anomalies

CAPITOL CHAOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas Officially Renamed "Krimga"

Army of 13 foot tall marmosets continue rampage

Goats Plague Earth, Humanity Crumbles

Christmas to Happen in November, Walmart Claims.

*REAL* KANYE WEST WINS ELECTION BY LANDSLIDE

Canadian DJ deadmau5 transforms into 3.75 inches tall Funko Pop, world now in fear

Epic Games Headquarters Vanishes, 12 Killed by "Beef Boss"

Minecraft 2 slated for release in 2021

Fortnite Is Going To Be Real

Minecraft buys Fortnite!!

Illogicopedia server no longer in Plato's cave

Coronavirus the cure for bad eyesight

Elon Musk announces Karen Battle Royale

Ginger found draining orange

Illogicopedia server now in Plato's cave

1+1=2

Man caught existing

Babies Good For Liver Circulation?

Is Illogicopedia Dying?

URGENT! ILLOGIPEDIA IS NOT ILLOGICAL ENOUGH!

Teenager cleans room for first time in years

Moon Is Fake, NASA Admits

Health and Safety Executive to publish guidelines for 'safe dabbing'

IllogiNewsé – Addé newsé >>>

Seeméd liké aé goodé ideaé até theé timé

I like being liked. I love being loved. I eat eats. I drink drinks. I walk walks.

Looks like it's time for me to leave my own mark in history. So let me say my opinions. I'm a rational man and I believe all spiders should be eaten for nutritional purposes. Also, have you noticed how the leaves on porcupine trees look kinda... weird?

every statement on this page is false. which means this statement is true. which mean this statement is false. which mean that there are 3231 versions of the christmas classic "home alone 2" made an hidden on the arizona desert since 1993... which means that statement was said by obama.

CONGRATS! You have just been cursed by the Holy banana god, send this message to 5 people you know within 3 days and the curse will be banished forever! or... be crushed by a building...

YOU ARE NOT SAFE, IT WILL HAPPEN. THE CHOICE IS YOURS...

🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌

For information on escape from banana-shaped buildings, click here.

HI GUYS IM BACK AND I LOVE YOU ALL AND I MISSED YOU OK BYE. -Bobo, your one and only pal (Im goin cray-zay!)

imagine going ray-zay. couldnt me be

HOW DARE YOU FORGOT THE C IN CRAY-ZAY!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!111!!!!!

Moré... – Addé youré madé gibberé >>>

Antié-featuré


Homs

Thisé monthé's featuréd writeré
Illogico is a crazy, and therefore won the award for Aym. Past winners • Vote for Ditzimber's Featured Illogicopedian>>>

Addé articlés >>>
Articlés recentlyé brewéd

ISO – Paula Deen – Inflatable guitar – IllogiBooks:A Guide to Trolls – Time is Running Out – BOOTSECT.BAK – Rubber band theory – Metallurgy – Algorithm – Codpiece – Shafting Jon – An Average Day for Mr. Michael McMichael – Orange Pants – Three Spiders in a Window – The Miserable Howls of Goats and Watermelons – Machine gun – Contrary to the Opinions of the Gentlemen from New York... – Cold – ♆ – Ψ – Illogic POEM Book – Φ – POV-Ray – Seizure – Help:Editing – HowTo:Keep an Idiot occupied for hours – Cell – 1:06 AM – HowTo:Keep an Idiot Occupied – The Article – HowTo:Get An Article Featured – Malk – Jumbly – Homer – Mini Ketchup – Brain Cloud – Brainstorm – The Dark Floppy – Hexicorn – space shuttle – Money Trees – R.I.P – Composed Spring Cookout – The Epic Adventure of All Adventures Did I Mention Adventures?... Donuts? – Wave of babies – We are, we are – Rocket surgery – Patriot Poop – A Bar of Soap – The Gravy Train – Man With Toad on Head – Your Pet is Insane! – Highway Solitaire – The Guiness Book of People who Haven't Broken any World Records or done anything worthy of Notice – List of Reasons Not To Kill You In Cold Blood Right Where You Stand – Cruft

Justé creatéd • Wantéd • Orphanéd • Deadé-endé • Unfinishéd • Needingé helpé • Foré deletioné • Foré highlighté • Foré creationé

Projects

Check out some of our current projects:

	IllogiDictionary The ABC of the Insane		IllogiNews Dun dun dun da da dun DUN!
	IllogiBooks Free and absolutely useless textbooks		IllogiGames Are you man enough to enter the realm?