United Arab Emirates

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Some hip, tall, and shiny buildings in the UAE

United Arab Emirates AKA The Emirates or The UAE is a pile of sand with some hip, tall, and shiny buildings on the Persian Gulf. Some people consider it a country, but it is generally uninhabited. This is due to the vast destruction caused by excessive oil discoveries, international golf professionals, hideous architecture, and immense amounts of camel dung.

Geography[edit]

A massive fake palm tree
  • Land area: 249 000 916 square feet, mostly dull. Or fake palm trees.
  • Water: Yes, please.
  • What's underneath it: Oil, fossilized remains of camel dung, Hell

History[edit]

The area now occupied by the United Arab Emirates has throughout history been an important gateway for anyone looking for sand and samall stones. At least two empires have controlled the area previously, Dubai and Abu Dhabi.

Oil was discovered in 1919, a moment too late as a camel barbeque party caused all the oil set in fire, burning the country to cinders. The fire was extinguished in 1932 with the help of refined petroleum from neighbouring Saudi Arabia and the British Empire.

People[edit]

The Supreme Ruler of the UAE
A common sight in the UAE

The United Arab Emirates has a population of approximately two people, the other being the Glorious Über-Sultan and Exalted Genius, the other his servant. They are both generally laid-back and friendly, except on Wednesdays, when the Über-Sultan usually declares war on Qatar. An armistice is usually signed until the next Saturday.

Government[edit]

The United Arab Emirates is officially called The Tyrannical Absolute Monarchy of The United Arab Emirates Cruelly Oppressing The People, but in reality it is a democratic state whose citizens have extensive personal freedom. The official title is used by state authorities to scare the crap out of foreigners who are thinking of moving into this vastly overpopulated desert region.