Illogicopedia:Current events
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| Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday | Sunday | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6:00 a.m. | Bed legs sawed off | Fnurdles under the sheets | Serenade by Silent Penguin | Mattress tipped over | Soaked with the fire hose | Community trampoline | Accordion Reveille |
| 6:30 a.m. | Group shower (kidding!) (maybe) |
Licked by a cow | Sponge bath by Olga and Lars | Quick squat in the sink | Change clothes only | Summer: Run through lawn sprinkler Winter: Engage fire sprinkler |
Skip all hygiene |
| 7:00 a.m. | Cheerios with milk | Cheetos with milk | Toaster shakings | Chicken pancakes | Empty cereal box (high in fibre) | Leftover coffee + Ice = DIY Frappucino | Toast |
| 8:00 a.m. | Catch up on missed Forum posts | Write an amusing Forum post | Add wisdom to a stupid Forum thread | Write a really stupid Forum post | Add stupidity to an intelligent Forum thread | Add a non sequitur reply to Forum thread you didn't bother reading | Create a Forum post talk page |
| 9:00 a.m. | Write a crappy article | VFF a crappy article | Make a crappy picture | FI a crappy picture | QD crap by others | QD crap you made | Stare blankly at Change log |
| 10:00 a.m. | Beg to be made an admin | Troll Wikipedia | Beg on Wikipedia to be made an admin | OFFLINE | Troll Uncyclopedia | Beg on Uncyclopedia to be made an admin | Back to ?pedia |
| 11:00 a.m. | Join the chatroom. Empty. /QUIT | Join the chatroom. Empty. Wait. /QUIT | Join the chatroom. Empty. Lurk all day. | Join the chatroom. Empty. Talk to yourself. | Join the chatroom. Empty. Write rude words. | Join the chatroom. Empty. Flood and get auto-kicked repeatedly. | Join the chatroom. Full! Say nothing. |
| 12:00 noon | Street begging | Dine and dash | Dumpster diving | Grand Theft Hot Dog Stand | Refrigerator soup | OFFLINE | Fasting |
| 1:00 p.m. | Appointment with the Staff Psychiatrist | Do some housecleaning | Floss your toes | Write in Diary | Report those cows to the police | Seriously. What's with those cows? | Cowicide |
| 2:00 p.m. | Poultry Martial Arts | OFFLINE | Complete your Secret Mission | Feed the hippo | Weekly pesticide treatment | Rewrite history | Pick up suit from the dry cleaners |
| 3:00 p.m. | Take a break from the wiki! | G.I. Joes vs. Legos! | Watch YouTube | Play Vidja games! | A TV game show, perhaps? | Anything interesting in the news? | Read the Obituaries |
| 4:00 p.m. | Seppy! I'm sick. Can I leave early? | Confirm some users | Sausage Martial Arts | Accept my inner loser | Look for a better job | Call T3's bluff | OFFLINE |
| 5:00 p.m. | Ice cream for supper? | Crunchy Cheese Surprise | Corndogs (again) | Mystery Meat | Probably Pork | Tunichicken sandwiches | That cat looks edible... |
| 6:00 p.m. | Reading! | Reading! | Reading! | Reading! | Reading! | Reading! | Reading! |
| 7:00 p.m. | Study Biology | Study History | Study Astrometrics | Study Language Arts | Study Englench as a Second Language | Study for Midterms | Homework |
| 8:00 p.m. | Write that break-up letter | Bass solo! | ? | OFFLINE DAMN YOU ROBERTO! |
? | ? | |
| 9:00 p.m. | Weekly Chess Tournament! Win the Gold Chess Piece! | Road trip, anyone? | Roll naked in a pile of paper bills | Try writing an article on Uncyclopedia | Play Grand Theft Auto | Take the Space Shuttle for a spin | Invent something cool. |
| 10:00 p.m. | ? | ? | ? | ? | ? | OFFLINE | Watch Edward Bulwer-Lytton documentary |
| 11:00 p.m. | Play Illogicopoly! | Pay cell phone bill | OFFLINE | ? | Large quantities of Rye | Watch A&E | |
| 12:00 midnight | ? | ? | OFFLINE | ? | ? | Drink until I'm invisible | Record all sins on an index card |
| 1:00 a.m. | Listen to public radio | ? | ? | ? | ? | Hit on some hotties | Star Trek! |
| 2:00 a.m. | Ask Carlb to replace the server's hard disk | Contemplate murder | ? | ? | ? | Party with a lampshade on your head | More Star Trek |
| 3:00 a.m. | Ask Carlb how the server works | Take some GK to fall asleep | Flirt with prostitutes | Watch The Hobbit | |||
| 4:45 a.m. | Pray to the Great Lightbulb | Chat up Bcbkye | Throw down rhymes with the OMG Scary Alien | Fantasize about Flub Nugget | Barter with God | Rock with Avril | Fall asleep watching The Roberto Code. Again. |
| 5:00 a.m. | Sleep | Sleep | Sleep | Sleep | Sleep | Sleep | Sleep |
| This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas. Maybe you should help it on its way. |