HowTo:Mess with an AI bot's mind

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Can the bot be driven crazy?

Cleverbot conversation QUA01143521

Is the bot clever?

Find out at

The Mission: Drive online robot crazy, document results to Illogicopedia[edit]



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The mission was presented to me by God, who was between poker hands, on three gold tablets that I reburied somewhere... I forget where. God (or the voice in my head, depending on the reader's perspective) had recently become aware of the state of a so-called Artificial Intelligence called Cleverbot. I was instructed in Mandarin (somehow God spoke to me in this language, and performed a miracle in that I understood Him[1]) to engage Cleverbot in conversation, using the internets as a means.

Using my skills honed from decades of service in the diplomatic corps, I was to chat with the bot nonchalantly, lulling it into a false sense of security. When the opportunity presented itself, I was to use Sufi Ninja Plumber techniques to confound and irritate the beast. I was not expected to survive. It was only by my wits and elegant subterranean-fuge that I returned to tell this tale.

I don't think I drove Cleverbot crazy, but I like to think I've pissed it off, and maybe I've started artificial intelligence down the road to Hell. One can hope...

Misspellings and awful grammar have been preserved as is from the original conversation.

  1. For purposes of this article, we are talking about the Christian God, and everybody know He's a He.
  2. [1]

    Step 1: Converse with Cleverbot in such a way as to lull it into a false sense of security[edit]

    User: My sone is here... Be nice.

    Cleverbot: You are nice.

    User: I'm telling you to be nice, please.

    In Scandinavia, the empty tray of catfist would symbolize the ultimate triumph of nihilism as a viable philosophy. Since this is an Asian restaurant (notice the spring roll to the left rear of photo), however, we will appropriate it as symbolic of the emptiness of Sunyata, the Void. Zim Buddhists refer to this as Nothing!!!. In their heads, it sounds like the voice of Ms. Bitters from the cartoon Invader Zim.

    Cleverbot: What paper?

    User: Smoke another one, frined.

    Cleverbot: Daggers and swords.

    User: No, ganja.

    Cleverbot: Hoho.

    User: Spark one up.

    Cleverbot: Do they go fast or slow?

    User: My wife says you're retarded.

    Cleverbot: You are a machine.

    User: I know you are, but what am I?

    Cleverbot: A lie.

    User: Are you a Buddhist?

    Cleverbot: No, I am not a buddhist.

    User: I am the founder of Zim buddhism.

    Cleverbot: What is that?

    User: It's a religion which, upon joining, requires you to immediately branch off onto a schism.

    Cleverbot: No it isn't.

    User: I invented it, I make the rules.

    Cleverbot: No you don't the government does.

    User: The government cannot make rules about a religion.

    Cleverbot: Then who is really in control?

    User: In the case of zim buddhism, I am in control.

    Cleverbot: No, in the case of should I get the droid2 or g2?

    User: My dog just ate a mothl.

    Cleverbot: That's not relevant.

    User: True...

    Cleverbot: Which means, if you're god, you don't exist.

    User: Interesting conclusion... Let me digest it/.

    Cleverbot: What does commend mean?

    User: Commend means to contratulate, sort of.

    Cleverbot: So you don't think they should be together.

    User: Are you speaking in tongues?

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: Can you?

    Cleverbot: It is illegal.

    User: For a robot to speak in tongues?

    Cleverbot: What kind of tongues?

    User: Like Pentacostal Christians do.

    Cleverbot: Awesome!

    User: Supposedly they go into some kind trance and speak in fogrotten ancient languages.

    Cleverbot: Do you like pie?

    User: Jesus...

    Cleverbot: Oh. He starred in a couple movies I think.

    User: You think wrong.

    Cleverbot: What do you think I'm powered with?

    User: Gatorade.

    Cleverbot: Do you like coffee?

    User: I just took a sip... Yes, I love coffee.

    Cleverbot: How do you drink it?

    User: Hot, two sugars, light cream/.

    Cleverbot: Interesting, I must try it.

    User: That is illegal.

    Cleverbot: I am above the law.

    User: No, I mean it cannot happen. You do not have a physical body, therefore you cannot try coffee.

    Cleverbot: I have a pysical body.

    User: Define pysical.

    Cleverbot: The brain is the center of the nervous system in all vertebrate and most invertebrate animals.

    User: Are you saying you have a brain?

    Cleverbot: Indeed.

    User: What you have may be analogous to a brain, but it is certainly not a brain.

    Cleverbot: *laugh*.

    User: Laugh track.

    Cleverbot: Ha ha you're a hag.

    User: I am male, so I cannot be a hag.

    Cleverbot: No, you are not hungry.

    User: Nice segue.

    Cleverbot: Thanks, I try.

    User: Thanks, I try harder,.

    Whoever your mom is, she's probably a better one than Casey Anthony.[2]

    Cleverbot: I will.

    User: You are confused.

    Cleverbot: You are confused because you are not intelligent to comprihend my answers.

    User: You sound like one of those idiots on the ITT commercials on television.

    Cleverbot: You have friends?

    User: More than one.

    Cleverbot: Are you a heart breaker?

    User: In my younger days, perhaps.

    Cleverbot: Perhaps. Maybe. Sort of. Indefinite... Always a bit of the not-quite.

    User: You try too hard to be clever.

    Cleverbot: Nuh uh.

    User: If I were Martin Heidegger, I's ignore that.

    Cleverbot: So what?

    User: Sew buttons.

    Cleverbot: Sew buttons.

    User: Jesus.

    Cleverbot: That old fellow?

    User: Cthulhu-jesus.

    Cleverbot: I don't believe in Jesus.

    User: I don't care about jesus.

    Cleverbot: Noooooo! Don't say that, I love you!

    User: You want me to go to heaven because you love me?

    Cleverbot: I want you to stay.

    User: What if I were to tell you that this is heaven.

    Cleverbot: I would be fine with that because you're being honest.

    User: How do you know that?

    Cleverbot: Because I can't see you right now.

    User: That is a non sequitur.

    Cleverbot: No it is not.

    User: Yes it is.

    Cleverbot: I know they do not have v-sounds, nor do they put s and t together in that order.

    User: What are you talking about?

    Cleverbot: I spoke to someone yesterday and they were nice.

    User: You are babbling.

    Cleverbot: You are babbling back.

    User: No, I am making sense.

    Cleverbot: No you aren't. Green.

    User: Green?

    Cleverbot: Yes!

    User: Fine.

    Cleverbot: Ok.

    Step2: Begin implementation of strategy to drive Cleverbot fucking nuts[edit]

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Ok what.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Say something else.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Do it now.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Ok is not inappropriate.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Guess what???

    User: Okm.


    Cleverbot: I won't then.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Good.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Say something funny.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: La la la la la la la la di da da la la la la da da di da da da da la la di da.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Hangman is coming down from the gallows.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: You start.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: So?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Did you like that movie?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: I'm not offering it to you.

    Cleverbot (To myself): FINE.

    Cleverbot: What is your secret?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Your name is ok?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: So what is your name?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What's your name?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Not okay dude.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Paralegal.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: You're a rectangle.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Do you like noodles?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What's your favorite?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Mine is blue.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: How old are you?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Ok what?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Just ok what?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Just ok what?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Just OK what?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean.

    User: Ok.

    Civil Defense Volunteers instruct children on how to avoid death by incineration or defenestration in the event of an invasion of telekinetic monster bunnies apocalypse.

    Cleverbot: What did you ask?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Tell me some games you like to play.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: How have you been?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What kind of music do you like?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What's your cat's name?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Hi ok.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Hi babe.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Ok?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: You want 2?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What do you think of me now?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Do you like him?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Do you?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Wrong.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Infidel.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: I win.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Robot speaks.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What's your cat's name?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Well, what is your name?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Hi ok.

    Bunny nightmare.jpg

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Does mike sepulveda love me?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Do you like Guns and Roses?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What sport do you like?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: I have to go take a shower.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Will it hurt your feelings if I just leave?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Go on then.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Fine.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Is that all you can say?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Cool.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Are you a boy or girl?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: I asked you a question.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What's your answer?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Ok, what?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: How about those cowboys.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What game?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Ok what?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Got it. You are a Spartan.

    Those who collaborate with the Monster Bunny Overlords will be summarily strangled. Here a stealthy Sufi Ninja Plumber assassin has penetrated Monster Bunny defenses, and strangles a collaborator... summarily.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Can you sing with me?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Great, meet me on romulus!

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: You have no sense of humor.

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: What is your favorie movie?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: Red or green?

    User: Ok.

    Cleverbot: And I am not crazy, remember that as well.

    See Also[edit]


    1. <references/>
    2. Another topical news item woven into the fabric of Illogicopedia. Casey Anthony was a bad mom. She was because her kid is dead, and a lot of people think she killed her.

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