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History of Lithuania[edit]

Lithuania was created by Michael Bay in 1978 as a huge set piece for the movie "Fiery Explosions, Hot Girls and Robots". This was later named TRANSFORMERS. After the movie failed, Michael Bay blew up the island with the Help of Adam And Jaime, who then set out to create an exact replica as a museum exhibit. Unfortunately, many different ethnic people crawled into the exhibit, and demanded it be a people reserve. And that is why Lithuania is a country.

The Lithuanian Drug Wars[edit]

Scientists now think that from 1984 to 1985 Lithuania was the largest provider of Speed, and thinks that Lithuania was smuggling track racers over the border into other countries. People drove into rivers, and then ran along the water to get across. Europe had taken measures to stop this by sending javelin throwing insurgence on the borders. The war lasted one full year ending with the battle of Cape Town, which was where every single 500 meter dasher went up to the British Army and pulled down their pants, banishing them from the country forever.

The Hungry Hungry Hippos Tournament[edit]

Lithuanians held the first ever hungry hungry hippos tournament. This was a bad idea. The hippos then turned on them and suffered marble indigestion, and turned on the humans. There are no more hippos in Lithuania after the famine, so the reenactment kills ten people every year from being eaten by humans.

North Korea's Hostile Takeover[edit]

North Korea tried to take over Lithuania in 1990, but failed because they wore red, and Lithuanians HATE red. This is when the North Koreans told all the people they were on a set piece.

The Government[edit]

The government is Commun-Socio-Demo-Monarch-Dictatorship. In 1991 this government was created after everyone decided that Switzerland should be abolished. The law failed, but Lithuania is the first country to have a law protecting Dolphin rights to gay marriage.

Lithuania Today[edit]

  • Lithuania is DEAD.
  • It's a wasteland.
  • Nobody lives there anymore.
  • The people that do are ruled by the ruthless aristocrat Michael J. Fox.
  • But, Lithuania is still the leading producer of speed.