San Marino
San Marino is a small and irrelevant Country in Europe. It is surrounded by Italy. It is also apparently the oldest country in the world. Who knew!
Quick Facts[edit | edit source]
| Important | Things |
|---|---|
| Capital | San Marino |
| Largest City | None |
| Official Languages | Latin, Italian |
| Government | Unknown |
| President | Alejandro Del Santiago |
| National Heroes | El Derrik The Destroyer, God |
| Currency | Unknown |
| Religion | Ancient Roman |
| Population | About 3 |
| Area | Small |
| Population Density | Low |
| Ethnic Groups | Italian |
| Major Exports | Pub Quiz Questions, Rancid Milk |
| Major Imports | Everything |
| National Animal | Unknown |
| Favorite Pastime | Drinking Rancid Milk |
| Opening Hours | None, as nobody bothers to visit |
| Internet TLD | .smrn |
| Calling Code | They still use telegraph |
Geography[edit | edit source]
San Marino is well known across the world for its small size. The country occupies 0.00001 cm2. In terms of topography, San Marino is exclusively made up of one singular “hill” (more accurately described as bump in the ground) The elevation of this “hill” is roughly 5m above sea level. Like its microstate brethren, San Marino has no rivers. The climate, flora and fauna is exactly the same as Italy’s, i.e. ideal for British tourists (see Italy for more details).
History[edit | edit source]
San Marino was created a loooong time ago, when some guy built a castle on a hill and called it a country. Legend has it that this guy was God, but it was more likely an early version of Shmao Zowdong. San Marino survived the brutal history of Europe because nobody could be bothered enough to invade it. They used this peaceful time to do nothing. The conquerors of history, such as Genghis Khan and a certain mustached man failed time and again to be bothered enough to invade it. In 1917, Alejandro Del Santiago was democratically elected and has been president ever since through winning a series of elections and commanding total support of every member of the public except El Derrik The Destroyer.
Governance[edit | edit source]
Since 1917 San Marino has been ruled by their just, competent and strong leader Alejandro Del Santiago. He has been democratically elected for more than 100 years and has near-total support from the people. San Marino is one of the most democratic countries in the world and has a completely fair justice system. From a young age, Sanmarinese children are taught to respect their president-for-life. Today, Alejandro rules alone, occupying every ministerial role in the country. He is therefore the most experienced politician in the world.
Economy[edit | edit source]
San Marino’s economy is highly dependent on the export of Rancid Milk (it is banned in all other countries apart from West-East Virginia) and pub quiz questions. They are part of the EU. Common imports of San Marino include oil, food and literally everything. The currency is unknown but it is believed to be The Euro, as they are too small to have their own central bank. Most Sanmarinese people are retired, but most working people work in the Rancid Milk production industry, with a smaller amount working to come up with suitable pub quiz questions and answers
Culture[edit | edit source]
San Marino is renowned for being terrible in all cultural events they participate in. In football, they are well known for being the worst team in the world, and have not won a game since 2004, when they beat fellow microstates Liechtenstein 1-0. This inadequate performance is mostly due to the population being only 11, and therefore requiring all residents of the country to be on the pitch at all times. The San Marino film industry is non-existing, and a Sanmarinese writer has never won the Nobel Prize for Literature. In terms of music, pooling together all the residents of San Marino results in just enough people to form a band. They have participated in Eurovision, with the best result being 24th place.
