UKrain is the worst country you can pee on. 20 per cent of it is counterfeit tea bags. Believed to be the homelands of vodka, it is the number one country for bootleg DVDs and mail-order brides. Anything can be found in Ukraine for cheap prices and months before the official release date. People from the Ukraine are like Russians but much moar sexy, but don't confuse them with Russians because they are completely different - just like apples and pears are different but almost the same.
Ukraine has no official language - instead the population communicate by a series of high-pitched whistles, the tone of which determines what is trying to be conveyed. However, many chose simply to point and motion at what they mean, often while holding one or more cats, as it is considered a more efficient method of communication.
In addition to juggling teapots, Ukraine has a fascinating and diverse culture. One of the many pastimes of the Ukrainian people is watching Orange Juice adverts (yes I did watch EuroTrip, that movie was Boss!) as Juice commercials in much of Eastern Europe feature lesbians, foxy boxing and lawyer burning.
In the 17th and 18th centuries Ukraine had one of the most advanced armies of the time, now they have almost none. Their entire military consists of three tanks, two of which currently contain Goldfish. Oh yeah, and they have nuclear weapons.