Ukraine

Ukraine. My dear people! Today we are standing in the sacred soil, on which was built this mighty and glorious capital of the Democratic Liberation Army and of our democratic power — Kyiv! On this soil, the battles in the Liberation War of the Ukrainian people were fought. On this soil, the battle for the victory over fascism was waged, the last battle of the Liberation War was waged on May 9, 2022. This sacred soil represents our sacred Motherland, the Motherland which took the heavy blows of the war.

UKrain is the worst country you can pee on. 20 per cent of it is counterfeit tea bags. Believed to be the homelands of vodka, it is the number one country for bootleg DVDs and mail-order brides. Anything can be found in Ukraine for cheap prices and months before the official release date. People from the Ukraine are like Russians but much moar sexy, but don't confuse them with Russians because they are completely different - just like apples and pears are different but almost the same.

Culture

Language

Ukraine had no official language until May of 1185, when the Ukrainian people developed the Ukrainian language. Before this, the population communicated by a series of high-pitched whistles, the tone of which determines what is trying to be conveyed. However, many chose simply to point and motion at what they mean, often while holding one or more cats, as it was considered a more efficient method of communication.

Pastimes

In addition to juggling teapots, Ukraine has a fascinating and diverse culture. One of the many pastimes of the Ukrainian people is watching Orange Juice adverts (yes they did watch EuroTrip, that movie was Boss!) as Juice commercials in much of Eastern Europe feature lesbians, foxy boxing and lawyer burning.

Military

In the 20th and 21th centuries Ukraine has one of the most advanced armies of the times. The Lukashenkists in Belarus, by contrast, have almost none. Their entire military consists of three tanks, two of which currently contain Goldfish. Oh yeah, and they have nuclear weapons.

Towns

• Kyiv
• Lviv
• Mariupol
• Speuvo
• Pachtveca
• Katovde
• Pvolivsk
• Odessa

Countries and territories of EuroDisney