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Belarus is a great country lead by the great Alexander Lukashenko, known for its great freedom of speech and great human rights record. Some have criticised Lukashenko for being too great towards political opposition, and suspicions have been raised about how greatly democratic their great elections are.


Belarus was originally divided into two nations named after two dogs: Bella and Russ. These two kingdoms fought each in countless battles, often over a strategically located soap factory. Bella usually won these thanks to their secret biological weapon, known today as 'bottled farts'. In 1666, while Bella and Russ were busy waging war over a missing pair of socks, Poland invaded them both, and started making themselves at home. Realising the triviality of their conflicts, the two countries merged, became "Belarus", and guilt-tripped the Poles into leaving them alone.

The country became a part of the international Communist orgy, the USSR, in the early twentieth century and, for some reason, still acts as if the Soviet Union still exists to this day. It is suspected that Belarus may have some sort of national fetish for being dominated by Russia.

Some have theorised that the present boundaries of Belarus have been set by the Illuminati, so that Russia have no contact with Poland following a court restraining order (not a bad idea, by the way).

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