IllogiNews:Headlines/2009
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| Jeremy | Farbleum | Arche | Arply | Aym | Yoon | Jumbly | Ergust | Serpeniver | Octodest | Novelniver | Ditzimber |
Ditzimber 2009[edit | edit source]
- T3canolis sums up the year. (Just read the last two lines. They're the most important.
- Local bendy straw slaughterers predict weather
- Get ready! The Y10K Bug is Coming!!
- Sand has become a new commodity and the currency for the beTrobi. DUCK AND COVER, MEN!
- Can't get enough software piracy? Try coding in a brand new programming language - developed specifically for tech-savvy bucaneers. Pirates code in R.
Novelniver 2009[edit | edit source]
- Nipple Crime on the increase, decent hard-working moobs everywhere outraged.
- Who's ready for a collab with Galanoth? A big fat juicy collab? L33V MESUJ OH MIH TAWK PAYYJJ 2 CKOLLIB
- Illogicopedia reboots after Windows 7 is installed
- Cool things could happen, but only with your money! So send us your money, and we'll do cool things. (WARNING - said cool things may be misinterpreted and performed on your family members)
- The cake is a lie!
- Question Time airs on Illogicopedia, probably.
- Click for free* holiday
- Cats need
lollingStephen Frying at - NEW COLLAB ARTICLE OMFG LOL ROTFL LMFAO!! Leave a message on my talk page if you're interested.. but I'm not telling you who I am. YOU have to check the edit history yourself to find me. Because I'm elusive. COLLAB!!1
- HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!
- A toast to Illogicopedia!
- A man plays the fiddle!!!!11!!
- Professional Science-type people have officially declared that, in their official opinion, the official solution to world hunger is to officially kill all the Illogicopedians. The Illogic Council has officially declared that this official news is officially bullshat. Officially.
- Ever think of a cool-sounding line that ought to be in a movie sometime? Now everyone will have a chance to totally PWN Hollywood with their awesome lines that ought to be in a movie sometime!!
Octodest 2009[edit | edit source]
- D00D WTF DA EVIL ILLOGACIEPADIA MONSTUR WILL TAEK OVAR DAH WERLD!!11ONE
- Halloween Fables comp: Entries are in, results have been decided. Check the Illogicopedia front page in the coming days for the winners.... mwahahahah!
- Linky linky! Link needs a story! HELP OUT!
- Biiig Wackypedia clearout operation underway.
- Rediscovery of old plot! LET IT COMMENCE.
- I'll ask the questions here! SEASON 2! It's finally out!!! New! Super! Un-old!
- The Occult descend upon the Illogicopedia to wreak havoc once more. Prepare for a season of spine-chilling tales!
- Two weeks to Halloween. Anyone for a contest?
- Are you going to see also? I can see also.
- Incest relegalized, Testostereich investigates
- Will the butler die?
- IllogiNews: Midnight Internews Report
- IllogiNews:Pentagon officials deny that drug-crazed torments on our saxophone took no notice of Paul Newman in Iraq
- This page dreams of becoming the largest nonsense rhyme ever! Get your 'mad skills' prepared for rhymes!
- Race for Illogicopedian of the Month hots up; televised debate arranged
- Wonderful News! Giant Flesh Eating Fish Invade World!
- Warner Brothers releases the new Home Alone movie!
- Sigmund Freud analyses every ?pedia article and discovers were all Spock suckers.
- BROKEN NEWS: NASA discovers the stars actually are fixed to a giant sphere after all
- The Oddity notices that she hasn't contributed for a long time. Thus, she reminisces about some digestive biscuits that were quite tasty. She ate them. They were tasty.
- Kanye West Announces Major Surgery Plans!!!
- "Do not panic: we have simply erased the last seven days of your memory." -- Men In Black
- Mwow513 wants your opinion!
- Following last month's IOTM debacle, possible changes are discussed
Serpeniver 2009[edit | edit source]
- User's Ghosting powers mysteriously vanish; Police blame videogames and rap music.
- T3canolis banned by THE. RFK Stands up for him, resulting in the unbanning of T3.. Testoreich not impressed.. Testostereich then makes another news headline pointing out how the preceding is a fairly exagerated turn of events on Ragglefraggle's part. THE then notes that this is an absurdly long news headline. Readmesoon adds this pointless sentence pointlessly.
- T3canolis goes off on local newb image spammer.
- T3 begs forgiveness on the blog, users tell him to naff off :P
- Confusion, acid rains
Ergust 2009[edit | edit source]
- Jack Michaelson announced undead
- Brett Favre comes out of retirement!!!
- Aliens from District 9 are invading ?pedia! Do your part to keep the site from. Metamorphosizing. Into alien-ness. Sign the human book.
- If it's not too much trouble, FORKING COLLAB with me on this MAFFAKONG article please, if you would be so kind enough, YOU FART-BELCHING FUDGE.
- I farted.
- Baker sued over false advertising
- GALANOTH FOUND OUT THE DEADLY SECRET BEHIND ILLOGICOPEDIA'S SERVERS!
- Several homeless people brutally decapitated all in the name of love
- EXPRESS YOUR HATRED FOR THE OTHER ILLOGICOPEDIANS!!
Jumbly 2009[edit | edit source]
- The ruling class urge you to read this now.
- T3canolis revives his old wiki and accepts Readmesoon and Mwow513 as admins. Join the fun!
- Wacko Jacko returns in the form of a spambot
- Testes has found gainful employment!
- Epic? Meh.
- Not much happens, long suspected site lull gets underway
- God gives up on creating brightly coloured animals, for "tax reasons"
- I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION
- Man in need of a hairwash slays innocent old man
- Plan for 'colonizations' has begun, Testostereich to begin making main page.
- Testostereich banned for insulting his own penis size?
- Controversial haircut ensures England ashes win
- Hamster eats KFC chicken popcorn bite, becomes addicted, now weighs 400 pounds
- Must.... win...
- The ever-controversial Nerd42 totally rewrites site policy, automatically qualifying him to serve on the US Supreme Court
- After a long 24 months man discovers the sun. Is promptly patted on the head.
- Virile canine plugs autobiography with publicity from its recent divorce to Peter Andre.
- It's My Lai all over again!
- Intended 2 minute soundbite from member of the public leads to laboratory based hijinks. Tennis delayed. BOOTS ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW YOU WIMBLEDON PRICKS
- Contribute to the other debate now! Should foetuses have the right to vote? You decide!
- Man drinks vinegar, assuming it to be coke. Hilarity ensues.
- Something that's not hte pickle being judged happens.
Yoon 2009[edit | edit source]
- Top Ten of 2007! Top Ten of 2008!
- Speaking of Top Ten projects, you are running out of time to vote for the top ten articles of the year! Just two more days! Hurry and get your votes in before the project is closed down!
- Another
terriblegreat project! TOP TEN!!!! WE HAVE COOKIES!! - Help me, they are coming. OBEY THE FIST, please, KISS MEEEEHHH::: KISS ME WHILE I STILL GOT A MOUTH (*You kiss me*)
- The moonwalk dies a painful death. Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong instantly start to mourn
- THE PICKLES! THE PICKLES! *dribbles*
- HelloolleH Shamelessly plugs article!
- Hamsters. They make the world go round.
- Ok, everyone, it is time to go participate. Voting for the Top Ten Articles of the Year is now open, and very few have turned out to vote and nominate. This process is very important, and voting ends June 30, so go and vote now! Yeah!
- Nerd42 banned from ever reproducing with humans
- New main page revealed turns out to be slightly more of an improvement than the iPhone 3Gs
- A new plan has been devised! GO vote for your favorite articles to make them become one of the Top Ten Articles of the Year! Voting open for 2007 and 2008!
- Strokers research on Pineapples.
- Readmesoon has surpassed King Hindleyite on the most viewed Userpages! Readmesoon is the new king of page views!. errr... i dont think so.
- We have lost a great, great user... ;(
Aym 2009[edit | edit source]
- Vote in the Illogicopedian Elections or else the MPs will continue to claim expenses on stuff like HDTVs!
- The Dark Floppy appears! How will your old computers survive!?
- Researcher discovers that Jesus was actually crucified on a giant rubber duck
- No one is editing! Start doing so now! You can add categories or help out with the Article Improvement Drive!
- "Cite error: Invalid <ref> tag; refs with no name must have content" ... I mean "Wikipedia Art now on Illogicopedia for posterity and also your imaginary great grandchildren to gaze and wonder at"
- The Wikipedia Art saga rolls on as Wikipedia bans Christmas
- Sequel to the epic/featured article "The Magic Book" by mwow513 is out!
- Vandalpedia comes to the big screen?
- "Malk is the new Milk!!!!1"
- Hubble Telescope used to successfully track down Hindleyite's brain medication
- Eurovision won by Isle Of Man - Jimmy Saville with the winning performance
- Wikipedia fooled again, this time by the Irish
- Pickling is over. Judges will perform a taste test in the coming
daysyears.
- User exploits tabloid laziness and earns millions
- Daily Mail: 'We may all still die'
- Holy guacamole - only a week left to stick your pickle in!
- T3Canolis goes for the impossible. Making IllogiMusic; MUSICAL?
- Mmm... religion and guns
- Talking Crunchy Cheese now available for your listening, eating, or other unspecified pleasure.
- Man says, "Twitter invades my privacy"
- Nose collection opens for displaced nonsense – this is nothing to sniff at
- Illogicopedia users welcome THE to the jungle, where they have fun and games and the like
- Cat on a keyboard?! Ya rly. Commotion attracts the attention of a hamster, a dog, and an irate neighbor with hedge clippers, who follow in a chase. Hilarity ensues. Benny Hill, though dead, threatens to sue.
Arply 2009[edit | edit source]
- Facebook finally completes its total domination of the Earth!
- Experts conclude that Illogicopedia, much like life, is like a box of chocolate bananas.
- Illogicopedia drives through treacle; kids exclaim "are we there yet?" The answer is always no.
- Exterminators sent to eliminate pink elephants masquerading as Mediawiki error messages
- One man killed and others injured in pie factory explosion!
- Illogicast Mk 2 is coming soon. No jest. Ready your earmuffs.
- Yesterday's server virus that replaced our main page with some lame British newspaper is officially gone. Nerd42 is the computer genius man!
- Something about coffee!?
Arche 2009[edit | edit source]
- Rumblings are afoot over the return of the Illogicast, only this time with more effort. Users encouraged to record their own nonsense
- Illogicopedia fights through recession. Lord of Commons issues statement: "Cut back fnurdle spending"
- Servers back up again. Terry Wogan lets out an innocent smile.
- THE SCARLET LETTER IS WRITTEN. ITS VERY TRAGIC!
- VFF gets a cleanout! Roll up for some brand spanking new noms.
- BAD NEWS. PLEASE READ.
- The ballot papers fail and only llamas get to vote. URGENTISH ATTENTION required, well, maybe not that urgent.But still...
- Frightened child soils himself frontally. Politicians up in arms, calling for the child to hand over his highly disproportionate urine pot, threats of legal action
Farbleum 2009[edit | edit source]
- The Oscars are in the making or something!
- The gameshow has finally finished! And the winner is...Testostereich!
- Mysterious stranger begins to compile a collection of Greek mythology
- IllogiLand has been discovered, described and mapped (Again!)
- Somebody had a dream about pirates. Arr?
- Britain runs out of grit. People are advised to use ordinary table salt to clear the roads. Buy it now!
- Soviet Snow comes to England and shuts everything down. School, Work, EVEN THE RED BUSES!
- Warning:GCA wreaks havok upon return. WWMDCGCG involved in some way...