IllogiNews:Headlines/2010
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| Jeremy | Farbleum | Arche | Arply | Aym | Yoon | Jumbly | Ergust | Serpeniver | Octodest | Novelniver | Ditzimber |
Ditzimber[edit | edit source]
- Unintelligent gibberish even Illogicopedia can't understand!
- Ford finally gets the message
- The evil witches at ED finally get a taste of what's comin' to them!
- We sat Dubya down for an interview. Read at your own risk.
- America's really getting phat!
- Merry, whaaaaaaaa? We no celebrate holiday here!
- Weapons grade dog farts found in Iraq
- Do orangutans take hostages?
- Where does chocolate go? Find out by reading this crappy article!
- This article doesn't exist.
- Baconists declare holiday, most don't care
- This article exists.
Novelniver[edit | edit source]
- Holy Eye Of Kaizum announces new IllogiToon strip
- Check out your horoscope!
- OH NO! ILLOGICOPEDIA IS BECOMING UNCYCLOPEDIA! HELLLLLPPPPP!
- UK town ramps up for tourism
- KKK Picachu ready for Christmas
- Fanged Ham Steak threatens mid-western US
- High Explosives and Ordinance Fishermans Association kicks off Fall/Winter season
- Uncyclopedia is failing to keep up with Illogicopedia's quality standards
- IllogiNews funding called into question
- I'm trying to write an IllogiNews article, not really succeeding
- I have no idea
- Periodic Table reinvented?
- Bat Fuck Operating System (BFOS) in Beta testing, may be dangerous
- Martians adamant: we are not Americas ATM
- Tea-partiers: Hot, hot anime sex will lead to anime marriage
- G. Kronec wins extreme downhill 280 meter wife beating event
- Shotgun wedding jitters
- No blood for charcoal!
- Fish exceeds speed of light; travels both directions in time
- Illogicopedia creates new voting measure. Nobody cares.
- Alternate universes? You're soaking in one now!
- Bats are eating my legs
- Echidna molestation deemed dangerous, ill-advised
- Mars candy in hot water after introducing Rhesus Pieces by Reese's
Octodest 2010[edit | edit source]
- News template festers with inactivity; likely due to the fact that it's at the bottom of the Main Page... ¬_¬
- Top Ten Articles decided. Nobody cares.
- Bats unsuitable as dairy stock say Belgians
- Aeroplane hair causes record number of deaths
- Hippies suddenly popular again
Serpeniver 2010[edit | edit source]
- This IllogiNews article will be deleted!
- Spiderman camel held for questioning in sentient goat universe
- Failing water company hits bottom line
- Second Spiderman sighting, this one from sentient camel universe
- Spiderman from another dimension startles passersby
- Rolex now markets to middle class budgets
- Schrödinger's Jesús' existence yet to be confirmed, experts baffled
- Nietzsche meets H. P. Lovecraft
- Lather, rinse, repeat
- Ga Ga ga ga over Da Da
- Godware beta update released to universe
- Our top story today: Convicted hit man Jimmy "Two-Shoes" McClarty confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first known case of a knickknack paddy-whack.
Ergust 2010[edit | edit source]
- Debate rages in IllogiCommons over the price of hookers. Also beer.
- Illogicopedia's article count reaches over nine thousand
Jumbly 2010[edit | edit source]
- DPL problems persist, elephants with spanners dispatched to hunt out problem
- Time period rejected by historians. Probably cause they didn't have showers or soap.
- God finally achieves 100% completion on life, as a reward tanks begin to spawn outside his house
- People expected to go Bananas as moose arrives from the land of Mozilla
- Internets asplodes, invader invades
- Newspapers celebrate 'make stuff up' day by publishing factual news stories
- Wimbling Wombles win wet Wimbledon
Yoon 2010[edit | edit source]
- Illogicopedia through to 67th preliminary stage of the 2010 World Coup after bribing officials WWE style
- Illogico-Webster dictionary modifies definition of 'retirement' to mean 'temporary break' three years too late to stop widespread misinformation and, erm, apathy
- Corpse of Mary Whitehouse drafted in as emergency editor as unpopular wiki news service scrapes bottom of a very dirty barrel
- New research findings suggest football is "totally fucken awesum"
- The 2010 annual Teddybears' Picnic is called off due to corrosive pornographic rain of bedside tables
- FREE PORNO - NO COST - NEWD IMAGES (Really just a cheesy news article)
- Celebrations are soured as the first ever crossbreed between a human and a cauliflower is born into a permanent vegetative state
- This story is f*cked up that even the author is surprised at how weird he went with it
Aym 2010[edit | edit source]
- HE'S BACK WITH A SEX DRIVE!
- Illogicopedia warms up for the election by standing very close to the radiator
Arply 2010[edit | edit source]
- Nothing happens, world begins to devour itself nation by nation
- Gordon Ramsay enters 2010 Grand National, bookies stop taking bets
- Brown announces UK General Erection, Cameron goes into hiding
- Roberto rolls his way into the history books as Illogicopedia servers continue to suffer
- IllogiNews breaks unremarkable records; strives for higher mediocrity
- Running into fences proves to be "bad idea"
- Hunger strike ravages my stomach, thousands wounded.
Arche 2010[edit | edit source]
- Police give up search for cake, believed to be dead.
- Despite the best efforts of the collective Illogicopedia conscious, Roberto continues to have his way.
- The Almighty Excretion officially approves the use of toilet humour in cyberworld
- Davey Beckman out of World Cup, Shaun Wright-Phillips gets well chuffed (and probably drunk)
- Mini-animal right activists rage at the latest snackfood developments
- Go out in the woods, yo
- As Easter rapidly approaches, chocolate cream eggs go into hiding for fear of being consumed
- Tesco beans and sausages found to be number one cause of stomach rot in the Western World
- The gameshow is finally revived, after an unexpected coma!
- Vote now for your favourite article of 2009, lest the ground open up and swallow you right where you stand/sit/squat
- News agencies berated for their preoccupation with death, hundreds more die of natural causes
Farbleum 2010[edit | edit source]
- Mario dead, Luigi gains a dollar
- Illogicopedia 'simply entertaining' -- Carrissa Glarner, Art Institute Int. for Advertising
- Nudists up in arms over sponge shortage
- Winter Olympics continue to confuse and befuddle
millionstens - Experts announce perfect formula for making money
- Dodgy bloke stalks street corners; people advised to stay indoors
- Man named Most dies, people excited over footage
- Illogicopedia server outages blamed on hamsters, the boogie
- It's back! That's right, the Top Ten Articles of the Year are being voted right now, and you can be part of the fun!
Jeremy 2010[edit | edit source]
- Parakeet cult strikes again, Wikipedians alarmed
- Politics exposed as 'elitist scam': Daily Mail
- Cars found to be 'very large fat men': report by the Daily Mail
- Blimp downs Chinese fighter jets
- Wardrobe malfunctions aplenty at the inaugural Illogicopedia Awards of the Decade ceremony
- This Slashdot Story Has Clowns on Unicycles!
- Main Page hacked by Parakeet cult dedicated to spreading the word of their avian religion "Parakiism"
- Dinosaurs decry decline of modern English as 'disastrous'
- Front page undergoes redesign without any beta testing or input whatsoever. One person notices. (Looks good).
- Yet another letter of intent regarding sweeping changes lands on your doormat
- Man flicks bogey out of car window. Four dead.
- China goes 'green'
- ILLOGICOPEDIA TURNS 3! THAT'S THIS MANY *holds up fingers* YEARS!
Ghost Writer needed: Must be able to write a convincing bio for foreigner's e-harmony profile.- World Conciousness based on extreme repetitiveness achieved, news rendered redundant..
- ....