This is a randomized version of a section of an article 'The Longest Article/0'. which is a part of an article, 'The Longest Article'. This article will be slowly get randomized from the top to bottom. so it's incomplete now, but it will be.

This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.
Maybe you should help it on its way.

Nt pttng vwls n wrds Pac-man Duck
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz Ha Ha! The Bomb We aren't Uncyclopedia so this won't get deleted Nt pttng vwls n wrds Potato Apathy MASSIVE TRAFFIC CONE SHAPED ALIENS FROM OUTER SPACE Potato Ice Cream ZZZZZZZZZ! Asdogiaj fwo4itj oe Grand Dad MAH 1ST IRC CHAT W/ TEH ULTIMATE ADMIN!!!

Banana Grand Dad 010000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001 Illogic Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv PAgE rOBUSTlY CoNSTiTUTiNG STUFF FrOM tHe PErIODIC ThInG aGHHHHH ThIS IS HArD Asdogiaj fwo4itj oe User:!!!!!!!!Hyyehhdyyaddaddseewqwqwqwqwqnnnghhhgggggg TAKE ANYTHING U WHANT Cabbage Pac-man
Generals sigh, and the lines on the map move from side to side

Black... And blue
And who knows which is which, and who is who
Up... And down
And in the end it's only round and round

Haven't you heard, it's a battle of words the poster bearer cried
Listen son, said the man with the gun, there's room for you inside

Down... And out
It can't be helped that there's a lot of it about
With... without
And who'll deny it's what the fighting's all about?

Out of the way, it's a busy day and I've got things on my mind
For want of the price, of tea and a slice, the old man died

The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games, and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path

The lunatic is in the hall
The lunatics are in my halls
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day, the paperboy brings more...

And if the dam breaks open, many years to soon
And if there is no moon upon the hill
And is your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll meet you on the dark side of the moon

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You rearrange me till I'm sane

You lock the door, and throw away the key
There's someone in my head, but it's not me

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon!

All that you touch
And all that you see
All that you taste
All you feel

And all that you love
And all that you hate
All you distrust
All you save

And all that you give
And all that you deal
And all that you buy
Beg, borrow or steal

And all you create
And all you destroy
And all that you do
And all that you say

And all that you eat
And everyone you meet
And all that you slight
And everyone you fight

And all that is now...
And all that is gone...
And all that's to come
And everything under the sun is in tune

But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

“There is no dark side of the moon really. As a matter of fact, It's all dark...”
~ That guy at the end of the song

Hey![edit | edit source]

That's actually a good poem, you know.

Oooo... pretty colours!

And, er, have a list of random quotes:

What does love have to do with marriage?

The lovely are the ones that are quietly nuts, I've found, not those with screaming and depravity but the ones with simple manic joy, straight-jacketed in the corner and humming merrily as the butterflies flutter by. I'll admit, that's not the direction the people usually take them, but when they do, it is rather glorious. Like walking through a garden of little dreams.

Understanding is a triple-edged fish.

The willows must scuttle carefully.

You seek meaning... listen to the music, not the song.

A herring is just a herring.

Dear Santa, I want a death ray and an ox and a rocket propelled chainsaw and a large moose and...

How much of an effect could fairy wings have on a semi?

Given an infinite number of monkeys, it is inevitable they will eventually evolve to appreciate the benefits of a well-shined rifle.

It's like being nibbled to death by cats.

If you are going to kill me, then do so. Otherwise I have considerable work to do.

Sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective.

Why do storms have eyes? What do they see?

Not mad? How is this not mad? It is a mad poet's depiction of madness; how much more mad can you get?

Never fear answers. Fear running out of questions.

I'm holding a knife, wondering where the bullets go.

Is it pretentious to assume I'm pretentious?

I'm participating!

Damn it all. My feet hurt, I'm hungry, and my arm is bleeding, and I've no way out. Had no way in, either. That's what caused the other problems, getting in...

How, exactly, would two free, open-source software groups get in an all-out software war?

Picking his teeth with a toothpick of solid gold...

I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers.

You can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can get with just a kind word.

Well.[edit | edit source]

Well well well. Llew. Lelw. Wlel. Ellw. Llwe.

WELLWELLWELL.

WELL!

Well.

well.

More maths crap.[edit | edit source]

Orthogonality of vectors and subspaces
Projection onto lines
Least squares
Projection matrices
Orthogonal bases, Gramm-Schmidt & QR
Determinants - properties, Big formula, cofactors

 
 G-S:
 
  a1 a2 a3
  1  1  1
  1  1 -1
  1  0 -1
  1  0 -1
 
 Othonormal...
  u1 = a1
  u2 = a2 - a2Tu1/u1Tu1 * u1 = (1,1,0,0) - .5(1,1,1,1) = (.5,.5,-.5,-.5)
  u3 = a3 - a3Tu1/u1Tu1 * u1 - a3Tu2/u2Tu2 * u2 = uuuuurgh =
 
 
 Determinant stuff:

 det(A)  A =  1  2  3
           -1  2 -2
          1 -4  1 |A|=  3c(1,3) - 2c(2,3) + 1c(3,3) = ... = -2
                ^around that C(1,3) = (-1)¹⁺³|-1  2|
               | 1 -4| = 2

      B       1  2  3
       3  0  7
      -1  2 -2
 Row oporations for gaussian elimination, sign... ~> |B| = 2
 

        A =  1  0  0
             2  1  0
             1  0  1  |A| = 1
              b = 1
                  0
                  1
 Calculate A⁻¹ = C T / det(A) = C T
 Use Cramer's to solve Ax = b
 
  x = ...stuff

SOMEHOW[edit | edit source]

I FEEL THAT THIS IS NOT VERY SUCCESSFUL

NOR IS THIS[edit | edit source]

OR THIS[edit | edit source]

COME ON LET'S CREATE THE ULTIMATE CHAIN[edit | edit source]

HOORAY FOR CHAINS[edit | edit source]

I LIKE CHAINS[edit | edit source]

CHAINS CHAINS CHAINS[edit | edit source]

=ACHINS ACHISN ACHNIS ACHNSI ACHSIN ACHSNI ACIHNS ACIHSN ACINHS ACINSH ACISHN ACISNH ACNHIS ACNHSI ACNIHS ACNISH ACNSHI ACNSIH ACSHIN ACSHNI ACSIHN ACSINH ACSNHI ACSNIH AHCINS AHCISN AHCNIS AHCNSI AHCSIN AHCSNI AHICNS AHICSN AHINCS AHINSC AHISCN AHISNC AHNCIS AHNCSI AHNICS AHNISC AHNSCI AHNSIC AHSCIN AHSCNI AHSICN AHSINC AHSNCI AHSNIC AICHNS AICHSN AICNHS AICNSH AICSHN AICSNH AIHCNS AIHCSN AIHNCS AIHNSC AIHSCN AIHSNC AINCHS AINCSH AINHCS AINHSC AINSCH AINSHC AISCHN AISCNH AISHCN AISHNC AISNCH AISNHC ANCHIS ANCHSI ANCIHS ANCISH ANCSHI ANCSIH ANHCIS ANHCSI ANHICS ANHISC ANHSCI ANHSIC ANICHS ANICSH ANIHCS ANIHSC ANISCH ANISHC ANSCHI ANSCIH ANSHCI ANSHIC ANSICH ANSIHC ASCHIN ASCHNI ASCIHN ASCINH ASCNHI ASCNIH ASHCIN ASHCNI ASHICN ASHINC ASHNCI ASHNIC ASICHN ASICNH ASIHCN ASIHNC ASINCH ASINHC ASNCHI ASNCIH ASNHCI ASNHIC ASNICH ASNIHC CAHINS CAHISN CAHNIS CAHNSI CAHSIN CAHSNI CAIHNS CAIHSN CAINHS CAINSH CAISHN CAISNH CANHIS CANHSI CANIHS CANISH CANSHI CANSIH CASHIN CASHNI CASIHN CASINH CASNHI CASNIH CHAINS CHAISN CHANIS CHANSI CHASIN CHASNI CHIANS CHIASN CHINAS CHINSA CHISAN CHISNA CHNAIS CHNASI CHNIAS CHNISA CHNSAI CHNSIA CHSAIN CHSANI CHSIAN CHSINA CHSNAI CHSNIA CIAHNS CIAHSN CIANHS CIANSH CIASHN CIASNH CIHANS CIHASN CIHNAS CIHNSA CIHSAN CIHSNA CINAHS CINASH CINHAS CINHSA CINSAH CINSHA CISAHN CISANH CISHAN CISHNA CISNAH CISNHA CNAHIS CNAHSI CNAIHS CNAISH CNASHI CNASIH CNHAIS CNHASI CNHIAS CNHISA CNHSAI CNHSIA CNIAHS CNIASH CNIHAS CNIHSA CNISAH CNISHA CNSAHI CNSAIH CNSHAI CNSHIA CNSIAH CNSIHA CSAHIN CSAHNI CSAIHN CSAINH CSANHI CSANIH CSHAIN CSHANI CSHIAN CSHINA CSHNAI CSHNIA CSIAHN CSIANH CSIHAN CSIHNA CSINAH CSINHA CSNAHI CSNAIH CSNHAI CSNHIA CSNIAH CSNIHA HACINS HACISN HACNIS HACNSI HACSIN HACSNI HAICNS HAICSN HAINCS HAINSC HAISCN HAISNC HANCIS HANCSI HANICS HANISC HANSCI HANSIC HASCIN HASCNI HASICN HASINC HASNCI HASNIC HCAINS HCAISN HCANIS HCANSI HCASIN HCASNI HCIANS HCIASN HCINAS HCINSA HCISAN HCISNA HCNAIS HCNASI HCNIAS HCNISA HCNSAI HCNSIA HCSAIN HCSANI HCSIAN HCSINA HCSNAI HCSNIA HIACNS HIACSN HIANCS HIANSC HIASCN HIASNC HICANS HICASN HICNAS HICNSA HICSAN HICSNA HINACS HINASC HINCAS HINCSA HINSAC HINSCA HISACN HISANC HISCAN HISCNA HISNAC HISNCA HNACIS HNACSI HNAICS HNAISC HNASCI HNASIC HNCAIS HNCASI HNCIAS HNCISA HNCSAI HNCSIA HNIACS HNIASC HNICAS HNICSA HNISAC HNISCA HNSACI HNSAIC HNSCAI HNSCIA HNSIAC HNSICA HSACIN HSACNI HSAICN HSAINC HSANCI HSANIC HSCAIN HSCANI HSCIAN HSCINA HSCNAI HSCNIA HSIACN HSIANC HSICAN HSICNA HSINAC HSINCA HSNACI HSNAIC HSNCAI HSNCIA HSNIAC HSNICA IACHNS IACHSN IACNHS IACNSH IACSHN IACSNH IAHCNS IAHCSN IAHNCS IAHNSC IAHSCN IAHSNC IANCHS IANCSH IANHCS IANHSC IANSCH IANSHC IASCHN IASCNH IASHCN IASHNC IASNCH IASNHC ICAHNS ICAHSN ICANHS ICANSH ICASHN ICASNH ICHANS ICHASN ICHNAS ICHNSA ICHSAN ICHSNA ICNAHS ICNASH ICNHAS ICNHSA ICNSAH ICNSHA ICSAHN ICSANH ICSHAN ICSHNA ICSNAH ICSNHA IHACNS IHACSN IHANCS IHANSC IHASCN IHASNC IHCANS IHCASN IHCNAS IHCNSA IHCSAN IHCSNA IHNACS IHNASC IHNCAS IHNCSA IHNSAC IHNSCA IHSACN IHSANC IHSCAN IHSCNA IHSNAC IHSNCA INACHS INACSH INAHCS INAHSC INASCH INASHC INCAHS INCASH INCHAS INCHSA INCSAH INCSHA INHACS INHASC INHCAS INHCSA INHSAC INHSCA INSACH INSAHC INSCAH INSCHA INSHAC INSHCA ISACHN ISACNH ISAHCN ISAHNC ISANCH ISANHC ISCAHN ISCANH ISCHAN ISCHNA ISCNAH ISCNHA ISHACN ISHANC ISHCAN ISHCNA ISHNAC ISHNCA ISNACH ISNAHC ISNCAH ISNCHA ISNHAC ISNHCA NACHIS NACHSI NACIHS NACISH NACSHI NACSIH NAHCIS NAHCSI NAHICS NAHISC NAHSCI NAHSIC NAICHS NAICSH NAIHCS NAIHSC NAISCH NAISHC NASCHI NASCIH NASHCI NASHIC NASICH NASIHC NCAHIS NCAHSI NCAIHS NCAISH NCASHI NCASIH NCHAIS NCHASI NCHIAS NCHISA NCHSAI NCHSIA NCIAHS NCIASH NCIHAS NCIHSA NCISAH NCISHA NCSAHI NCSAIH NCSHAI NCSHIA NCSIAH NCSIHA NHACIS NHACSI NHAICS NHAISC NHASCI NHASIC NHCAIS NHCASI NHCIAS NHCISA NHCSAI NHCSIA NHIACS NHIASC NHICAS NHICSA NHISAC NHISCA NHSACI NHSAIC NHSCAI NHSCIA NHSIAC NHSICA NIACHS NIACSH NIAHCS NIAHSC NIASCH NIASHC NICAHS NICASH NICHAS NICHSA NICSAH NICSHA NIHACS NIHASC NIHCAS NIHCSA NIHSAC NIHSCA NISACH NISAHC NISCAH NISCHA NISHAC NISHCA NSACHI NSACIH NSAHCI NSAHIC NSAICH NSAIHC NSCAHI NSCAIH NSCHAI NSCHIA NSCIAH NSCIHA NSHACI NSHAIC NSHCAI NSHCIA NSHIAC NSHICA NSIACH NSIAHC NSICAH NSICHA NSIHAC NSIHCA SACHIN SACHNI SACIHN SACINH SACNHI SACNIH SAHCIN SAHCNI SAHICN SAHINC SAHNCI SAHNIC SAICHN SAICNH SAIHCN SAIHNC SAINCH SAINHC SANCHI SANCIH SANHCI SANHIC SANICH SANIHC SCAHIN SCAHNI SCAIHN SCAINH SCANHI SCANIH SCHAIN SCHANI SCHIAN SCHINA SCHNAI SCHNIA SCIAHN SCIANH SCIHAN SCIHNA SCINAH SCINHA SCNAHI SCNAIH SCNHAI SCNHIA SCNIAH SCNIHA SHACIN SHACNI SHAICN SHAINC SHANCI SHANIC SHCAIN SHCANI SHCIAN SHCINA SHCNAI SHCNIA SHIACN SHIANC SHICAN SHICNA SHINAC SHINCA SHNACI SHNAIC SHNCAI SHNCIA SHNIAC SHNICA SIACHN SIACNH SIAHCN SIAHNC SIANCH SIANHC SICAHN SICANH SICHAN SICHNA SICNAH SICNHA SIHACN SIHANC SIHCAN SIHCNA SIHNAC SIHNCA SINACH SINAHC SINCAH SINCHA SINHAC SINHCA SNACHI SNACIH SNAHCI SNAHIC SNAICH SNAIHC SNCAHI SNCAIH SNCHAI SNCHIA SNCIAH SNCIHA SNHACI SNHAIC SNHCAI SNHCIA SNHIAC SNHICA SNIACH SNIAHC SNICAH SNICHA SNIHAC SNIHCA=[edit | edit source]

==OH DEAR==[edit | edit source]

===I THINK I BROKE THE CATEGORY SYSTEM===[edit | edit source]

====JUST FANTASTIC====[edit | edit source]

I think it's unfortunate[edit | edit source]

How this article has degraded from Galanoth's vision of a spam free longest article and has become just as much of a spam mockery as the articles it was trying to beat. You guys sicken me. -- Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 17:16, 7 Octodest 2011 (UTC)

Welcome[edit | edit source]

Hello and welcome to the longest article on Illogicopedia! This article is designed to be written by you and me and them and him and her and it and this and that, collectively, except on Thursday, when only IP-users, Illogicopedians, and hamsters get to contribute. By extending this paragraph to a ridiculous length via the usage of a complex network of Big words, the once preposterous theorem that this article may actually be considered to be of a distended length becomes entirely possible. So, anyway, this article is very long.

By writing this article and indeed reading this disclaimer crap, you are hereby dedicating all your knowledge, power and effort collectively into the continuous maintenance and length-advancement of this article in order to maintain the title of Longest Article. Thank you very much for taking your time and effort to do this. NOW EDIT THIS ARTICLE. I'm serious. Edit or die. Also, separate things if you will with the line thingy. Thanks.

TYPING IN CAPS LOCK MAKE ARTICLE LONGER.^{[citration needed]}

Pondering On The MErits of Writing This Article...[edit | edit source]

What should I write it about... maybe I'll write about something nonsensical, or maybe I'll put loads of effort in. Actually, you can do it. I'm lazy.

Odd Thoughts About Contributing[edit | edit source]

Contribute? Like heck I will. ...wait.

Hmmmm, maybye if I add an Epic Template it will seem longer. Ok did that. Let's see..... how 'bout some sections!!

Ideas[edit | edit source]

What if, I type everything really big, ok let's try it: IS IT WORKING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Longest? Longest? We have a far way to go. Oh well...

Random Section of Randomness[edit | edit source]

Let's try some sub sections!

I never knew it's so funny[edit | edit source]

He put his eye to the hole. He just managed to spy some people sitting in deckchairs chanting, before a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye. As he staggered back, the people started chanting, "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."

What we could awalys do is insert thhe World's Longest Sentence. It's just a suggestion. Which, in fact, is really a servingsuggestion. Eat your sentences with milk and sliced apples and muffins in the morning, kids. And if you don't? Well, we're in for one fast ride on the local chicken wing tumbler. Because if you don't your head literally moves. Not the extra emphasis on literally. This makes it a lot more fun.

Cheeseburger?[edit | edit source]

McDonald's Guy: Would you like a cheeseburger with that?

Me: I ordered a cheeseburger.

McDonald's Guy: I'm sorry... I'm so high right now... Ugh... I can't freakin' see straight.

Me: How much you sellin' that weed for?

McDonald's Guy: Wait, wut?

MOAR CHEESEBURGER???[edit | edit source]

Nope. No more cheeseburger. Go away now. Enjoy your snackpack.

LESS CHEESEBURGER???[edit | edit source]

Nope. No cheeseburger at all. Bye.

NONE CHEESEBURGER???[edit | edit source]

That's not grammatically correct.

WHO??????[edit | edit source]

Me?

WHAT?????[edit | edit source]

I don't know. What can mean anything.

WHERE????[edit | edit source]

Um... Juneau?

WHY????[edit | edit source]

I don't have E.S.P.

HOW????[edit | edit source]

Do you have anything better to do?

Nope.[edit | edit source]

Thought so.

THAT'S WHEN SHE SAID I DON'T HATE YOU, BOY, I JUST WANNA SAVE YOU WHILE THERE'S STILL SOMETHING LEFT TO SAVE!!! (WOAHHH, WOAAHH)

THAT'S WHEN I SAID THAT I LOVE YOU, GIRL, BUT I'M NOT THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTIONS THAT YOU STILL HAVE!!! (WOAHHH, WOAAHH)

Readmesoon: Yeah! "Savior", right?

T3canolis: Yep. WOAHH WOAHH!

Random User: Oh god, no more flooding Rise Against songs.

T3canolis: WE CRAWL, ON OUR KNEES FOR YOU! UNDONE! A SKY NO LONGER BLUE! WE SWEAT! ALL DAY LONG FOR YOOOOOOUUUU!!!

I like colors a lot

Really stupid

And

Nonsensical but

Definitely not

Useful or

Memorable but not

Boring

I'm watching Deal or No Deal and someone just got only $21,000 LOLZ!!!! What an idiot! At least it's not me!!!

T3canolis' essay on love[edit | edit source]

This is an excerpt

Love hurts; but sometimes it's a good hurt and it makes me feel alive.

He later got sued by Incubus for stealing all of it. What was the point of that? NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!

Lines[edit | edit source]

YAY!!!!

I feel like ranting if you don't mind:

I hate when people refer to someone making fun of a religion as "being racist". It's not racist, it's prejudice. Idiots. They're also the one's that think that we were against the Nazis in the Cold War. Retarded. Ignorance. Ignorance is retarded. RETARDED. They're also the same people who won't go near people with HIV. They're the same fucking people that think that gum gets stuck in your body for seven years. The same people that believe that Mountain Dew lowers your sperm count. Guess FUCKING what??? It doesn't. None of those things are true. So go back to work at Burger King you good-for-nothing dumbfuck.

Thanks.

^ Note - you are an idiot and did not read the above text. Maybe you will be more amused by this:

boobs.

I thank you for your time.

Longest article? Bahah! Yeah, right.

Here's something to help it along...

BByy wwrriittiinngg eeaacchh lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee yyoouu ccaann ssaayy jjuusstt aass lliittttllee aanndd ssttiillll hhaavvee iitt ttaakkee uupp llooaaddss ooff ssppaaccee.

I rue the idea that this is the longest article, I know I'm contributing to it, but I'm doing so IRONICALLY. Because that's how I roll.

OMG Scary Alien!!!

[[

Image:The OMG Scary Alien.PNG|thumb|150px|

Art.]]

YAY!

Long is a word. That's it. Longest is also a word. Longer is too. Longerest isn't.

Hmm, this article's got to the length where any good content has been phased out, to be replaced by small-time users plugging their latest crap. I'm looking at you Lisa Scott L3e!

"Spam"[edit | edit source]

I like to spam, spam, spam

Someone here's name is Sam, Sam, Sam

My favorite sound is zam, zam, zam

My ear fell of oh damn, damn, damn

Making things longer[edit | edit source]

Things

~~Thin~~gs

Lon~~Thin~~gers

See? I made things into longer

Irony[edit | edit source]

This section contains no irony.

This section doesn't contain irony[edit | edit source]

Barack Obama is an avid smoker yet raises taxes on cigarettes.

Math[edit | edit source]

Equals Equals Equals

Plus Plus Plus Equals Plus Plus

Minus Minus Minus Equals Zero

Times Times Times Equals Times

Divided by Divided by Divided by Equals Divided by

Heading[edit | edit source]

Eh?

A Thought[edit | edit source]

They should call Lil' Wayne "Ill Wayne" because it always sounds like he has bronchitis!

In the default Illogicopedia font, that just looked like 3 small L's. Wait a minute... SHlT. (I didn't swear - it's a small L)

>about to escape pre-built PC hell and build my own PC.>come to /g/ to seek advice on purchases.>everyone says 4XX series will burn your house down, Intel sucks, go with ATI and AMD, they are supreme.>end up getting a 955BE and dual 5850s.2200$ later:>can't find 5850CF drivers. PC will only use one 5850.>10.8 drivers give me BSODs all the fucking time.>955BE at stock clocks idles around 50C when my friends i5-750 idles at 23C.>5850 temp range is 48C idle to 89C load.>two weeks later I still can't get my PC to work.

Greatest Image of All Time[edit | edit source]

[[

Image:U WANT A PIECE OF ME.jpg|center|300px]] Har har. You call that image funny? Funnyif you were on 4chan or Encyclopedia Dramtica. Please. If you think those are funny, please gopour some boiling hot water down your trousers. It's an image of a animal, with a cheesy caption. Hardy har har. You're quite the comedian. Also, to really add content to this article, we should write some decent- length paragraphs. Please, if you're going for the longest articles of all time, we're going for bytes, notactual length. Come on guys. And, if you really want to get this long, you have to pass this. That is long, and also other articles are very long. Take, for example, Chuck Norris. It has 96,000 bytes on it. This currently has about 8,000. Have a nice day.

This rant is like, awesome.

As per the above rant, I have taken the liberty of extending this heading in order to make it a paragraph. Underneath it will also be a paragraph, possibly a rant about Encyclopedia Dramatica. Cause I hate those guys.[edit | edit source]

Encyclopedia Dramatica sucks ass. Really. I mean, those guys are so dumb they IRL ROFL at the prospect of a person being forced to look at a man's distended anus. They also continually make fun of 4chan, yet 90% of EDiots are actually 4chan users. And why would anyone want to troll? It's funny now, because right now they're 16 year olds with severe acne but it won't be when they're 40 years old and still sending pictures of disfigured genitals because it's considered "funny". And WTF is lulz, anyway?

More ideas on how to make this longer...[edit | edit source]

How about some random images!!!

PANDA!!!

Well that did increase the length.... We could s p a c e o u t l e t t e r s ? No no that just looks cheesy. Maybye if we make a really big question mark, then run away from it??? ? well that didn't work. there must be a limit to hwo many <big> can be there. Yes, there is. It's OVER 9000!!!11!!!!111!1

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHR!!

HEAR ME OUT NOW!!

YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO ME LIKE IT OR NOT!

RIGHT NOOOOOOW!

I can't take this damage anymore, don't turn your back on me

I WON'T BE IGNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED

Ra ta taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Ya dibbi dabbi dulla bi dits dan dull an dell an doo Abba dii ba baa ya dii ba dii ba dibbi dibbi dibbi dil lan dell an doooooo Yaba dilla deya deyaduu ya daga daga daga duu duu deya doo Ba dits dan del an dey an do ya daga daga daga duu deya doo

cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster cyber hamster.

Cyber hamster.

cyber hamster

cyber hamster cyber hamster

HOLY CRAP![edit | edit source]

I can't believe how long this article has gotten, not bad considering it's been here for 3 days, maybe I'll be really sneaky and say everyone who contributed has to vote for this to be featured then it will definitely end up featured 'cause everyone contributed. GEDDIT?! I'm so funny. Anyway, one time, I farted and burped at the same time, and it sounded like, baaaaarrrppt, or maybe it was ffaaauuuurrrpp I don't remember, whatever it was it made me laugh so much that everyone died. The end.

And then this other time, cyber hamster appeared.

MOAR CONTENT[edit | edit source]

This section contains more content. It should be obvious. Considering this is content. Yup. Betcha didn't know that. I also betcha can't eat just one Lays Potato Chip. Serious. Try it. It's hard. I've only done it once. Like, you set your mind to it and BAM you find yourself shoving the crumbs at the bottom down your throat. Yep. That's how it happens. Then your throat gets all dry and you're searching through the fridge for a Coke. Uh-huh. That's how it works. Then when you finally find one, it's not cold and you're like, "Feck. I can drink it dry..." but then you're like, "Nope." Then your diving into the ice maker in your freezer and shoving it into a tall ass glass. *nods head* Then you pour the Coke and the glass overflows and you search for a paper towel or Sham-Wow to clean the mess up. Then you finally drink the Coke and suddenly, you realize it's been in your house for like three and a half years and you spit it out into your sink. That is how it goes down. So you try it. Okay? Try it.

Have you tried it yet? Nope. Do it. I'll wait.

Yet? Nope.

C'mon... Screw it.

10 Reasons Why This Article is Long[edit | edit source]

1.Because the name is, "The Longest Article"
2.Because I can write this reason 5 times
2.Because I can write this reason 5 times
2.Because I can write this reason 5 times
2.Because I can write this reason 5 times
2.Because I can write this reason 5 times
3.Bbeeccaauussee II'mm wwrriittiinngg eeaacchh lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee
4.Because this reason has two "<big>" code thingies.
5.Because I said so.
6.Because I can spam.

SPAM

7.Why not?
8.LONG
9.I said "Long", geddit?
10.Because I'm bored. SHUT UP.

Headline Text[edit | edit source]

Sub Headline Text[edit | edit source]

Relevance? We don't need no stinkin' ~~Badgers~~ relevance!

The Cyber hamster section[edit | edit source]

Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster !!! Cyber hamster Cyber hamster Cyber hamster ~~Cyber hamster~~ Cyber hamster

The Cyber Bear Section[edit | edit source]

Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear Cyber bear.*CYBER BEAR EXPLODES*

Undead Cyber Bear Section[edit | edit source]

Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear Undead Cyber Bear

This is what Testostereich would put:[edit | edit source]

File:Cockbeast.JPG

On behalf of so many who didn't get a chance to tell you this...[edit | edit source]

You suck.

Hey, I would put that[edit | edit source]

Signed Testostereich

That's why I put it and put "This is what Testostereich would put:[edit | edit source]

Yup. I know about your obsession with the Cockbeast.

Okay, so...[edit | edit source]

Two bears are in the shower together. One says, "Pass the soap". The other responds, "No soap; radio".

Yeah, yeah and...[edit | edit source]

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead kangaroos? THE KANGAROOS ARE DEAD!!!

Also...[edit | edit source]

What's the difference between watermelons and pickles? WATERMELONS DON'T SHOOT LASERS!

What?[edit | edit source]

I don't know. And believe it or not, I was not drunk or high at the time.

At This Point, It All Gets a little bit silly, because we have run out of ideas, but we continue adding content merely to lengthen the article[edit | edit source]

LOLwut. So, like, yeah. no. Told you so. 6 and a 7 and third of a jelly wut? lolwut so it's all like wut red link non blubber finkelstien exactly.

BIG

Re d li nks ar e awf ul. Don 't do i t, ki ds.

I agree with what Sithman said. But why not lengthen the article? It's a good time-waster and you know how all of us have way too much time on our hands (we're part of a wiki dedicated to Illogicness) so why not edit. I decided to do the following to lengthen the article.

Many Notable User's Sigs (to lengthen the article)[edit | edit source]

Ryan ^u _t ^c 07:42, 13 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)
T 3
—rms talk
Testostereich • (ballsack)
Hindleyak Converse • ?blog • Click here!
Silent PenguinLeave Me Alone
MMF!→talk←/→admin(:D)
Nerd42eMailTalkUnMetaWPediah2g2
--Sir Asema ^Politics _{Complaint Inbox or Outbox}
JonTehSexyMofo
THE
|Fonchezzz| Quacking|
Fluffalizer
Gal an oth
mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me
₪ Ragglefraggleking ₪ Is ₪ Eating ₪ Your ₪ Bagels
Ryan ^u|t|c
Ben ^Blade
I forgot
hugebob
Dxpenguinman, the Penguinman ...He's e-vile! • Talk • Got An Idea? • GAMESHOW!
Miss Oddity
Some WHAT!? (talk) (contribs) (edit count)
DG |Chatty Chaps|

ha. >>> there's a big line of "[edit]"s there. >>

Darth man and his fnurdles ha. not anymore.
(Talk) (Contributions)

This is a cheesecake.[edit | edit source]

But there was a lie. There was no cheesecake. In fact, there was a pie, but that wasn't there either. No, instead, many dog toys rained from the sky and ate the hammerheads.

The aquarium was no longer safe. They had to evacuate. Someone's feelings were hurt, and they had to stop this injustice. The poriferans were at stake. They couldn't risk it.

Many years later, they looked back upon the event and realized...

Willy Wonka was really Michael Jackson in disguise.

But how? Why? They couldn't answer.

The zen was missing.

Noserferatu flickered the light on and off.

The British flew across their Firebolts and the sand was ruffled gently in the breeze.

A squid swam through the air.

And now, a word from our sponsors.[edit | edit source]

BUY IT!

That was actually two...[edit | edit source]

DO I CARE? Yes. Buy the whey, I wuz bee ing siecastic.

Insert random guitar solo from Music 2000 for the Playstation here[edit | edit source]

Oh dear. This article is so long, I thought it was Fern Cottons shopping list. Wait she isn't fat. The joke only works if the person is fat. Lets try again. Erhem! Oh dear. This article is so long, I thought it was some fat guys shopping list. Oh wait, I can do better... Oh dear. This article is so long, I thought it was <insert some random fat guys name here> shopping list.

BART! Do the washing up or I'll have your guts for garters![edit | edit source]

No way maaan. Damn you're so fat, straight up!

Why you little...[edit | edit source]

AAACKKK ACCKK ACKKK

That was my impression of Bart Simpsons being strangled by Homer. I thank you. For my next trick, I will juggle three elephants while riding a donkey. I know what you're thinking. This has nothing to do with the article being long. Well sucks to be you rabbit droppings! Because it takes me so long to set up the stunt that I'll be tying forever. Hay! I didn't want to make this full stop boldeded too!

An in conclusion of my attempt at doing that trick...[edit | edit source]

I broke my spleen! Let this be a lesson to you kids. Don't drink anything your mother gives you. She might be that evil liquid bad guy from Terminator 2 in disguise. What was its name? Hmm...

Longest Article Productions is sponsored by Freepages[edit | edit source]

Oh no it's raining again. OH NO! ITS RAINING AGAIN! #

My cover version is better than the original. This is so true, I peed my pants several times as I watched my best friends invisible friend do a little dance make a little love getting down last night. Getting down last night. Yeah. Down. That's where you have to go to read the rest of the article. No going back now, you're almost at the fork in the road... There it is!

\|/ 0|0 L|L

Moar hamsters in 4.1419's square root with extra banana-flavoured genetically-enhanced KFC chicken-bites, you know, those little popcorn ones you get when you buy a bargain bucket? Yeah, those. Scientists have been taking those and genetically enhancing them so now they taste like bananas. And 4.1419 does not approve of this, but everyone knows 4.1419 is totally gay, I even saw him and 5.123910394 making out. Speaking of unrelated subjects, even though they are unspeakable, this entire paragraph is a heading. That's pretty cool. Chuck Norris approves. Or something. Or nothing. Or everything. And another thing, your face is weird. Seriously. There's a huge purple pulsating blood-sucking leech on your neck. Don't know if you noticed, but your face is going pale as the blood drains from your brain. Look, you're dying. Haha, you're dead. Do you want a funeral?[edit | edit source]

Toast.

This is also a ridiculously long sub heading. EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED HAS TO VOTE FOR THIS TO BE FEATURED. MUAHAHAHA. Actually, I lied. This isn't a sub heading. It's a text with a <big> tag and a <Strong> tag applied. Don't believe me? Edit it to find out. HA! I LIED AGAIN! IT'S A SUB HEADING! Please don't kill me.[edit | edit source]

Or is it?

A cool story[edit | edit source]

Ok, one time, I farted, and everyone died. But Jesus revived everyone, and the OMG Scary Alien came and blew up the entire universe.

The end.

THE END IS COMING!! I R BEING SERIOUS!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

PANCAKES!!!!!!

This is not a sub heading[edit | edit source]

HA! I lied again!

This is not not a sub heading[edit | edit source]

This time I didn't lie.

Lying[edit | edit source]

The below statement is true.

The above statement is false.

This time, it actually is not a sub heading. I swear, I'm not lying. Check the table of contents. This isn't there. See. Told'ya so. Why do you doubt me?

This is not a heading either.

The Worlds Longest Sentence???[edit | edit source]

There was this cat-licking bird that lived on a lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between Belmont and Rose which are both Gay-ass Streets Like North street or some shit that reminds me of a celebrity like Paris Hilton or some blonde loser that doesn't even know the capital of her own country, which is the united states of America aka: U.S.A which is really actually kinda dirty in the cities and the government is all corrupt and stuff kinda like that such as the country of Somalia which doesn't even Have a government, it's just in a complete state of anarchy just like my mind and soul which are both filled with outrageous nonsense that I'm typing down right now into some fat long sentence that probably makes no sense but who cares I'm trying to set some sort of weird record here like most ducks snorted or some weird thing like that and if I do set some sort of record I will be in the Guinness book of world records which was always my dream because that book has a whole bunch a cool and weird stuff in it and I would Become famous and add to the weirdness of the book like some of their records which reminds me of the Rob & Big where Rob sets all of those skateboarding Records And Big Black eats bananas and donuts and three weeks later they both get plaques saying the record they set and I want to get one of those so that's why I'm writing all of this stuff down without ever using a period or some other sentence ending mark like an exclamation point or a question mark or any other symbol that could possibly end my streak of words that is really long now and would take me a while to count just like counting sheep which is supposed to put you to sleep but it really keeps you awake because you want to keep counting and counting until you don't know what comes after trillions, but that would take Years or something because it would take a while just to count a trillion seconds or minutes would be even worse just like how ducks are worse that geese because they are more aggressive around their young unlike great white sharks which are often eaten by their mothers when they are born and the ones who do make it out alive have no mother to teach them how to hunt or whatever because none of that matters because us human beings have mothers unless they die or run off with some CEO of a big company or someone else who makes a lot of money and then they leave you with your dad and you are jealous of your friends if you have any because they have moms and you don't because your mom was some greedy pig who wanted money and sex but ended up only getting the money part and she bought drugs because she was depressed and ended up killing herself from an overdose and you wouldn't even know about it until you become some rich person and check the files somewhere and learn that she died of a overdose and you eyes get all teary and then you start crying because you know that you wouldn't be alive without that woman you called mom and I just found out right now that the longest sentence is like 10,000 words so I have a ways to go and you have to go with me so let's go to 6th gear and throw out some words like Emphysema which I had to do a report on in 4th grade because we had a ton of projects and this was the disease one and we chose diseases out of a hat and I came out with Emphysema which is a form of lung cancer which is 98% caused bysmoking which reminds me of the way my dad describes smoking: "you get plant leaves, wrap them in paper, light it on fire and suck on it" which is normally a sentence but not today because I'm setting out on the quest for a long sentence that I'm typing up which reminds me of a story my grandpa told me about himself when he was "your age" about how they covered the letters on the type writers and they had to type so that they could memorize where the letters are on a type writer and my grandpa says he will never regret taking that class because it helped him out a lot when it came to typing and now a days he is not bad a typing at all because He is almost as fast as me because I am a pretty fast typer and writing this article isn't taking very long and expect being pretty far pretty soon at the pace I'm going right now so there are going to be some serious records getting busted when I'm finally finished writing this article on this dumb website which will probably end up huffing this article even though it is fun-packed and joyful and keeps the reader reading when they use that excuse to mom saying "just one more sentence" but that sentence is 10,000 words long and still continuing to go at a reasonable pace and it is going to shatter most of those long sentence records just like how the chargers are going to shatter the most consecutive years without a super bowl win record and I doubt that they will win one in the near future but they patriots are going to win some serious super bowls because they are the best team ever even better than the cowboys or 49ers and no one cares a bout them so go patriots and boo chargers even though I live in San Diego and Like the Padres I hate the Chargers because they are bad and the padres are bad too but I don't care because they are my favorite team and the dodgers are my least favorite along with the Yankees because the Yankees get a lot of money to spend and the padres and marlins get almost nothing and then the Yankees buy a-rod for a lot and the Rays get almost no money but are still fighting for first place this season without expensive players like Derek jeter or a-rod or johnny damon or whoever because they are an all around better team that can beat the Yankees even though the Yankees can beat the royals a lot who really suck because they suck more that the padres do and so do the mariners and Rockies even thought the Rockies went to the world series last year they lost and haven't stopped losing for a while now, either and they are last place in the nl west and that is where the padres used to be but they started hitting homeruns and winning games and are dong pretty good right now despite having little offense except for Adrian Gonzalez who is leading the NL in RBI's even though he is on the team who scores the least runs in the league but they are not last in homeruns though they are like 5 away or something but I’m not sure so screw that and let's talk about something fun like water or food or dirt or something but I think food is the best because their is a lot of things to talk about with food like you r favorite food which mine happens to be some spicy burrito form Chipotle mexican grill and it is very good just like this macaroni my mom made one time that had bread crumbs on top and it was very good like all of the food they serve on top chef which I wish I could be a judge for because they have a lot of good food on that show and it makes my mouth water whenever I watch it and that is why I watch it because the food is totally awesome and sometimes I hate the people but they end up getting eliminated like the Dance crews in America's Best Dance Crew which is a great show and you should watch it because people do good dancing like the jabbawockeez because they won the first season and they are very good just like supreme soul and So real crew and phresh select and super cr3w and I’m only at 1500 words right now so I have to write some serious stuff like a life biography about myself and anything I’ve ever done which includes going to big bear to ski, fishing, breathing, swimming, going, farting, eating, sleeping and a whole lot more stuff which reminds me of 4th grade again when my teacher was debating with the class whether "a lot" was one or two words and all of the kids including myself said one while the teacher said two and he was right and we were wrong but no one cared because we all had fun arguing about and I have fun arguing with my friends about football and not baseball because in baseball we all like the same team but in football I like the patriots and my friends like the chargers and the 49ers and the eagles and the saints but my team always woops their team's ass and they say that the patriots "cheat" and that's how they won even though the patriots just pwned their team and they suck and my team is good but we all agree when it comes to baseball because we all like the padres and we never really argue over anything in baseball which is my favorite sport and I play it and I am good a it and I want it to be my profession but I doubt that that will happen so my backup plan is being a cop because you get all of the benefits and you get paid after you retire which is good news and I would also like to be some government dude or something like that because they get the benefits too so it would be cool to work for the government which reminds me that my principal worked at the white house and taught the president email because he was the computer guy or something like that so h knows a whole bunch of computer crap like my dad and he is fat too so everyone makes fun of him and I think he huffs kittens too but I am not sure and about that and what the hell is up with all the n00b and kitten huffing on this gay ass website like all of the things like "the writer may have been huffing kittens" and stuff like that it really annoys the hell out of me just like other things such as when people clip their finger nails it makes that weird noise that get me all crazy and I hate it just like how me friend hates the sound of chalk on a chalkboard which I find soothing and relaxing but he gets really annoyed and psyched out and he is also very pale-skinned and so is the rest of his family so it must have been some genetic thing like twins and clones and whole bunch of other confusing science crap that I learned a long time ago in 7th grade or something which was when we watched movies in class like UHF which has weird al in it and it is very funny because weird al has to save a TV station with a whole bunch of weird shows like wheel of fish and rauls wild kingdom with a whole bunch of cool animals like flamingos and turtles and stuff like that but who cares lets get to the meaty part of this article which is the part where I write the longest word known to man which is Methionylthreonylthreonyl...isoleucine which is cut out because it has 189,819 words so wikipedia had to cut out the middle part and the longest word is the name of a protein which is the largest known to man to so big names go to big things is apparently the moral of this story ladies and gentleman the road doesn't stop here and I have to continue no matter what you say or think so I should just write some story now that has no periods so lets start now there was a guy named Carl who liked fish and women and he went to Clara’s house and they had a good sex but that isn't enough of a story to set the record so I think I’ll just stick to writing random crap which really makes no sense at all and here is some random picture

that shows a guy who has two legs and another guy who has three who is mocking the guy with two legs because he rips his flesh in disgust every night and you think about who would be dumb enough to rip their flesh instead of cut the ring off or something that doesn't involve entirely gruesome crap like that and I have another life after this one just like how cats have 9 lives I have three because I’m on my second one right now and it is great and you might think I’m a whole new person but you are thinking wrong it's just when I died I came back t life and next time I die I’ll come back to life again and then when I die I’ll be dead for sure which reminds me of Stephen king's book called pet sematary which is coo because people come back to life because there was a burial ground that bring people back to life if they are dead and that book is a great book and you should read it along with the Harry potter series which has magic in it and it is cool too so don't shank yourself when you are cutting that meat for dinner or you might die of massive blood loss or might just need a band aid I mean that works too or you don't even need a band aid because I don't use them and I have never gotten and infection in my life so maybe I’m lucky or have an alligator immune system or something but I don't use band aids and I don't use Neosporin on my cuts so I’m some sort of miracle I guess but I’m wasting twenty minutes of my miracle life on this retard article that I just want the Guinness book of world records to see and go that is the longest thing ever and have me in their book so I’m striving towards that goal right now and I’m not stopping until I hit at least 3000 words and then I’ll do the construction thing and finish thing up tomorrow or sometime after now and I will be the author of the longest single sentence on the planet earth which will be a real accomplishment on my part so you can be real jealous right now because I am making history right in front of you and if you are still reading this I am truly impressed because this article must be getting really boring by now and maybe your not even reading this just scanning the article for periods which I’m afraid you will not find until the very end of this article which is a very, very, long way away and if you are a slow reader well sucks for you but now I have to use that construction thing and I will finish this and now I am back after a hard day at work but I’m still going now so get ready to rumble with this long thing called a sentence that is as long as Mt. Everest is tall and the Marinas Trench is deep and speaking of the ocean fish of all kinds live in the ocean such as puffer fish which are poisonous to eat if not prepared right and will make you die after and you ADMINS BETTER NOT DELETE THIS BECAUSE IT IS SOME RECORDand if you do delete it well I will have this saved and what will you do then you people who will want to delete this because you don't care about people trying to break records so don't delete this or I will boycott Uncyclopedia and will be very mad at you guys like how I am Mad at Tim for being so annoying just like Celebrities and loud people and people who don't brush their teeth which makes me think of killing myself except I wouldn't do that because I am some sort of miracle as you probably read before or not because you are tired of reading this jumble of words that are still making a grammatically correct sentence that is breaking records right now and I won't stop until you let me break some serious records like longest sentence and some other weird stuff that I might get an award for or something but I also want that Guinness record plaque that you get for setting a monster record like most consecutive noses picked with boogers in them or something completely obscure like that which is like a bunch of the articles on this website which are actually some times funny like how to solve a 1x1x1 Rubik’s cube which made me laugh pretty good and the star wars one is good too so never delete those two because they are funny unlike this article because this article is more boring than funny but who cares some retard might laugh at this bundle of crap and I think that I will put that crap tag on this article so people know that this article isn't really funny but that it is long and boring like Dances with Wolves and some other long movies that you actually fall asleep during which is hard for me to do so I tend not to nut I did when I watched Dances with Wolves because it was really boring like counting sheep to a trillion or some other large number that some little kid says he wishes he had that many dollars but he will never get that many dollars because there isn't even that many in circulation right now and if there was that would be some major inflation right there so don't think you can get that much money kid because then you would not be doing this country a favor which it desperately needs I might add so instead burn money instead of make it and lower inflation rates and do everyone a favor except for the people who are already really rich and don't care about inflation and would rather drive an escalade instead of a Prius in times like this with all of the gas prices and stuff that would drive up your bill but they don't notice because they have a lot of money and don't care therefore they should die and burn in hell with all of the lawyers and other bad people on this ball we call earth that really isn't a perfect sphere because of the mountains and valleys makes it look all jagged but from space it looks like a sphere but looks may be deceiving so don't think that the world is a sphere no matter what other people say and tell them to f**k themselves when they try to convince you that the earth is really a sphere but it isn't just like how most ignorant people think that Columbus found America but he really didn't that was amerigo Vispucci and Columbus really found the Bahamas thinking they were islands outside of china and he was wrong so everyone forget Columbus and remember some other sailor like Henry Hudson who tried to find the northern passage but didn't so his crew killed him but a he was a great man any way so remember him instead of Columbus or remember William Penn who created Pennsylvania or remember your grandma or someone but not Columbus so go ahead and think that the earth is flat even though it isn't and it can have for corners if you think about it so go die and fall off a cliff or something interesting like that or at least get a life that want’ to se a cool record like the one I'm setting right now so go to a pawnshop and buy a life or kill yourself and get a new one or something weird like that or I will force you to and if you are still reading this you are an amazing human because I forget most of the stuff I’ve written already except for the great white shark thing at the beginning of the article and I remember that I need to go see some good movies tomorrow or sometime in the near future like within a week or something but forget that I'm only at 3500 words now so lets go to 4000 and then maybe I’ll call it quits because this is boring and I would rather write another article that is good and long but not all one sentence like this one so let's come up with some final five hundred words or so to say before I stop writing all of the nonsense so let's brainstorm ideas like poo, ducks, lemons, flanges, more ducks and star wars which sound about like enough and I like star wars out of there so let's talk about some fun star wars stuff like Kit Fisto who has weird tentacle things on his head and Ki-Adi-Mundi who has two brains and is on the Jedi council which is a great honor and privilege because it is and Kit Fisto gets killed by Palpatine in the 3rd movie like Mace Windu who is cool and I like his light saber because it is purple unlike the standard blue and green colors which I prefer green out of but most people seem to like the blue colors but who cares about them they like blue and green is better so you better not like blue or you are some lame person that will be lame for the rest of your life like some people who think that they are cool but are really posers and they live their life not knowing that they are continually mocked and made fun of all of the time behind their backs and that they are really dumb or something so go out and tell all of the posers you know to not be posers anymore and tell them that they should go jump in a lake or something insulting like that and make them run and cry and you can laugh at them and hope they don't tell their mom who will be mad at you so maybe you shouldn't even do that you should just laugh at them behind their backs while they live the poser life and I'm near 4000 words now so let me slow down now yeah I have about a hundred words left so let me write down the exact amount before I stop writing so let me finish this thing up by talking about donuts and their fried goodness and how they make you fat and stuff but they do taste good so you should eat them because they are good and they taste good even though you could get fat but no one cares so eat them and be happy and I am starting to near 4000 now so just be a bit patient and this has been fun guys so let me finish right about…wait for it…wait…right about….almost there….just two more…..wait….this actually isn’t going to stop because I want this to keep going for a little while longer so that I can still break some record but man am I tired so I think I will actually shut up now.

^^ THE PICTURE BREAKS THE SENTENCE ^^

^^He broke the rules! That's a RUN ON SENTENCE!!!

This is not a run on sentence.[edit | edit source]

This sentence is not a run on sentence and I think it is cool and I like this sentence and oh damn, I messed up.

Now we've got all that shiznit out of the way, how about some CONTENTZ0R??[edit | edit source]

Long articles (latin name articulus retardicus, gibberish name wiki-wiki-waa-waa longy-flongy arty-farty-kull fnurdle haaaaggh gy-uuugg) are a species of article found on Illogicopedia. Typically between 20k and 1m bytes in length, Long articles are very rare considering that ALL ARTICLES ON ILLOGICOPEDIA ARE INCOHERENT AND NEVER FILL MORE THAN 1K BYTES IN LENGTH, EXCLUDING MAYBE THOSE FEW ARTICLES THAT DO

Drugs[edit | edit source]

Drugs are ~~a bad thing to take and not~~ good ~~and people get addicted~~ and they make you so mellow that you can ~~do something dangerous like~~ crash~~ing a car. It is even worse when you're~~ with your friends ~~because they will get killed, too.~~ Drugs~~make many people's brains become like a~~ rock.

And now, a whole paragraph about what happens when a pig rapes a cow and the cow is very offended and goes to his lawyer to file for sexual harrassment but his lawyer said that rape is not sexual harrassment so he goes and gets a new lawyer who says this is a very serious case of harrassment so he goes to court with the pig and the pig says d00d! wut 1z da d33l h34r? 1 wuz k1d[)ing!! and the cow says oh right, sorry and they go home and have coffee together and then they have sex and the cow files for sexual harrassment again and the pig is all like, WOW LOL U R STOOPID and then the cow goes crazy and gets locked into a mental instychooshun with Susan Boyle.[edit | edit source]

Something bad.

T3KANOLEEZ WUZ HEAR!![edit | edit source]

can we edit this anymore?[edit | edit source]

hmm I wonder... maybe this was just wasted space. idk... wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space wasted space.

hmmmm booring how bout I just spam my sig (read my articles, talk to me plz i get boooreed) mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me woops that was 3

mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

ooops 5

mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC) ok im done

Whos next?[edit | edit source]

mwow513 • My Articles! • Talk to me 01:24, 15 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

oh me again haha well I guess we should just fill up the space all the way down to the end of the ninja pictures so i guess i shud rant and not use corect grammer and stuff but i guess if i use grammmar and use longer words itll take up more space but i guess i am takin up spac rite now and stuff but this is kinda boring i gues but fun at the same time although typin is perty fun sorta i mean the sound of ur fingers hittin da keys sounds cool...click...click...click... eh my bad i leave it to another vandal to ruin this article or make it longer im not sure... alright im done... im sure... ok... bye... seriously this is all... cya... ok...

The Above Part Was Written By an Idiot[edit | edit source]

Yep. That lowered my I.Q. by like 30 points. Shiite. How do I follow that up? Umm... I don't know. How about I do the opposite. Quantum Mechanics are... Shoot, I'm 13, I don't know about that crap. So... what else? Um... Ooo! I know.

I decided to import this page's talk page to make it longer.[edit | edit source]

Don't sit on that pew. That's where I hid the photographs! --hugebob 18:42, 12 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

Oops, sorry. --Gal an oth 18:44, 12 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

The current longest article on illogicopedia is Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It has 787, 625 bytes

(hist) ‎Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ‎[787,625 bytes]

(hist) ‎Moar ‎[348,500 bytes]

(hist) ‎Stub ‎[153,777 bytes]

(hist) ‎Kajillion ‎[151,895 bytes]

(hist) ‎The longest article...ever ‎[142,495 bytes]

(hist) ‎Chuck Norris ‎[96,784 bytes]

(hist) ‎Super Smash Bros. Melee cheats/7 ‎[89,295 bytes]

(hist) ‎Anagrams for Illogicopedia ‎[78,682 bytes]

(hist) ‎Super Smash Bros. Melee cheats/8 ‎[75,063 bytes]

(hist) ‎Super Smash Bros. Melee cheats/6 ‎[74,207 bytes]

(hist) ‎ᏴᏑ ‎[71,553 bytes]

(hist) ‎Super Smash Bros. Melee cheats/1 ‎[58,146 bytes]

(hist) ‎Shaggy Dog Story ‎[57,089 bytes]

(hist) ‎ASCII Nazi ‎[54,041 bytes]

(hist) ‎The Longest Article ‎[46,639 bytes] <-----This article is here as over 5 seconds ago. !15th place...

- ₪ Ragglefraggleking ₪ Is ₪ Eating ₪ Your ₪ Bagels 15:41, 14 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

My suggestion! Take parts from each of those article (ie the list of chukc facts, the repetive "weeeeeee", ect. ₪ Ragglefraggleking ₪ Is ₪ Eating ₪ Your ₪ Bagels 15:44, 14 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

I think it's goal is to be the longest article, but also maintain some form of content. Because the top 4 articles in length have no actual reason to read. I just like to add stuff here if I have an idea or just am bored. --T 3 15:48, 14 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

Yeah. Let's add some content - maybe some info about long articles. --Gal an oth 16:05, 14 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

I added some funny stuff about drugs. --T 3 16:58, 14 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

Without the World's Longest Sentence (which I wrote, by the way), this article would be nothing. Nothing. —rms talk 04:25, 16 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

Probably. --Gal an oth 06:24, 16 Jumbly 2009 (UTC)

Hey, I just created Too many With 1,035,799 bytes.

Wow. I actually quite like this article. -- Hindleyak Converse • ?blog • Click here! 19:57, 16 Arply 2010 (UTC)

Actually[edit source]

n² - 10 = n + 2n

n² - 10 = 3n

-n² -n²

10 = 2n

÷2 ÷2

5 = n

is

Failed to parse (syntax error): {\displaystyle n² - 10 = 3n}

Failed to parse (syntax error): {\displaystyle n² -3n - 10 = 0}

/insert into quadratic

${\frac {3\pm {\sqrt {9+40}}}{2}}$

${\frac {3\pm 7}{2}}$

$,n=5,-2$

Check your math next time. —rms talk 05:27, 24 Arply 2010 (UTC)

Also, you can take this alternative factoring method:

n² - 10 = n + 2n

n² - 10 = 3n

n² -3n - 10 = 0

(n - 5)(n + 2) = 0

n = 5, -2

Geesh. —rms talk 05:32, 24 Arply 2010 (UTC)

Fuck you.
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I can get into any advanced class I want except math. I've always been the best in mainstream classes but I suck at it compared to everything else. But realistically, I made the problem with the intent of the number being 5. I never thought of anything else. Technically I'm not wrong but I'm not completely right. Logic, eh? --T 3 15:40, 24 Arply 2010 (UTC)

I know[edit source]

...this was a troll edit, but it at least made me smirk slightly. -- Hindleyak Converse • ?blog • Click here! 18:54, 15 Octodest 2010 (UTC)

Accident[edit source]

I accidentally changed the article to its first edit. Now I'll need a mainframe to return it to its proper form.

Kate (talk)

6^123456?[edit source]

Someone on a past revision of this article had posted the digits of pow(6,123456) claiming to have calculated it with Python. It was wrong though so here's the correct digits. I made it with a small handcoded C program. They really are the correct digits. Simplest test: copy the digits to a file and wc. Then calculate ceil(123456*log10(6)). You'll get the same size.

Test 2: Using Python or anything else supporting bigints compute this number and match. If it cant go till that size calc. to a lower power of six, (say 123456/n) and then raise a number made from the first few digits of that number to the power of n. The digits you get should match with the initial digits of my result.

It's too late in the night so I'll be able format this into a line-by-line dump only by tommorrow.

Lord Assbutt the Fourth (talk) 18:29, 25 Yoon 2014 (UTC)

Give me at least one reason why I should give you the money.[edit | edit source]

CUZ I SAID SO.

I will physically sex anyone who reads through the whole of this thing in one sitting[edit | edit source]

You heard son, you 'eard. >:)

Unless they intend to take me up on that offer[edit | edit source]

:( It's getting late, so as per watershed it's time this article became more adult. To cater for our perverted older viewers. Tools out gentleman. Our guests tonight are Steven Hawking, and that guy out of Busted, who are going to join us in a topical debate on whether boobs are better than bums. Steven, you look like you have something to say. Ha! You can't talk, you're physically dead! I hate you! All this and more, stay tuned.

Error 105 (net::ERR_NAME_NOT_RESOLVED): The server could not be found.

CAN YOU FIND THE HIDDEN LINK? here it is!

Toast.[edit | edit source]

Need I say moar? Ya. Ok, moar.

CONGRATULATONS![edit | edit source]

You're about half way through the article.

I'm walking on sunshine[edit | edit source]

That hurts. I mean, the sun is the hottest thing in the solar system so like, to even walk on its shine must burn the bottom of your feet.

That's your entire edit?[edit | edit source]

Yep. *backhands you across the face* BITCH! DON'T QUESTION ME!

The shortest section in the entire longest article on illogicopedia aid epic illogia in illogic we trust as of the time of this writing void where prohibited watch out for fnurdles do not inhale see what I mean you'll see in a second so there[edit | edit source]

Try editing this section. You'll see some thing weird.

<!>LOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLLLLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOL</!>

It's over 9000!![edit | edit source]

Hell yeah it is.

What!? 9000??[edit | edit source]

Are you deaf? I said 9000, dipshet.

THERE'S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!![edit | edit source]

Well, it is. Get over it.

Awwwright[edit | edit source]

I'd like to give a big hand to Readmesoon, he's been writing this often behind the scenes. Galantoh, it was his idea. T3, that other guy. And the rest, sorry if I forgot to mention you because that's all we've got time for, join us next week!

Up next, more of the same.

P0mg i just got 50 cb from pray by burying b/bones now I can do d/slayer and wield my r scim so i can kill the drag wit my rune scim n full rune nd zammy sq, n00b[edit | edit source]

But nobody cares... -cries-

P0MG!! SOMEONE ISN'T SCARED OVER THE THOUGHT OF DYING ABOUT SWINE FLU, aka. Galanoth's rant on Swine flu[edit | edit source]

OK, people! Shut up about swine flu! It's NOT A BIG DEAL. 0.5% of people who get swine flu actually die from it. That's 5 people for every 1000 who catch it. You have roughly the same chance of dying from cancer, and they're not doing anything about that now are they? The only reason anyone cares about it is because it's new. If swine flu had existed for a year before it reached Britain, people would be all like, "oh. a new disease. well, don't worry, they'll find a cure." but because it's new, it's more like "OH NO!! THERE'S NO CURE!! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!! QUARANTINE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING ABROAD TO STOP THE SPREAD!! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!". The reason the Daily Mail actually writes about it so much is so that everyone buys it to find out if they're going to die from swine flu, which they're not because there's less than 1% chance of dying from it.

Hm... Much similar to my rant... I like this kid.[edit | edit source]

Damn. I summed up what I was going to say in the sub heading itself. Well that's a waste.

POMG. I have NOTHING to write about.

I'M GONNA EAT YA! GET... IN... MAH... BELLY!!!!![edit | edit source]

Heh heh. Poop.

Nobody is editing this any moar, meaning Galanoth has to do it all. And you know how Galanoth's writing style sucks. Contribute nao, and save this article from sinking into Galanothism![edit | edit source]

Well I'm writing this, too so don't get all P.M.S-y. But seriously, if we want this to be long we need... MOAR!!!

MOAR!!!

MOAR!

MOAR!!!

Yup. More. And once again this is not a sub heading.

This isn't either

This is.[edit | edit source]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

In three seconds I'm going to say something that will change your life...[edit | edit source]

FNURDLETOOT!

Amazing, ain't it?

"T3canolis is a Douche": An IRC conversation[edit | edit source]

Note that some unrelated things were removed.

<T3canolis> Hey Seppy.
<T3canolis> And Badger.
<Socky> mushroom
<SilentPenguin> hey T3canolis
<T3canolis> And lurker Bonghjerne.
<T3canolis> Who I assume is French.
<T3canolis> Socky, what do you think?
<SilentPenguin> "Socky now uses exact matches insted of searches unless ![] is used"
<Socky> No one can ignore Socky! Socky is too IRRITATING! MwuAHAHAHA!
<T3canolis> Okay.
<Bonghjerne> T3canolis: FU, im not a frenchie!
<SilentPenguin> my guess would be dutch
<T3canolis> Bonghjerne: My bad.
<Bonghjerne> Danish, kthx
<SilentPenguin> its the same region to me :D
<T3canolis> I guess when you assume you make an ass out of u and me. I guess this time it's just me.
<T3canolis> Oh well.

This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death![edit | edit source]

Ha! Obscure video game reference! I FTW!

Yupperz[edit | edit source]

I spelled yuppers with a z cuz I'm 1337 4 l1f3.

Cannoli[edit | edit source]

There was a bag called Jim Jim he's Dead Jim He's The Dead Jerry's Dead OH NOES JERRY IS DEAD! 1995 was the year that idiot Neil O'Donnell screwed it up for us Neil O'Donnell sucked anyway didn't he go 1-15 with the Jets the next season HAHAHAHA!

If there are two nights there are two lights but fight is not right write my letter to the better getter this is a header

this is a footer this is a butter battle with a paddle please let me out a new one if you can't get a chance if you can you are not named Dan you are not me but I am not Dan the lengths that I will go to the distance in your eye MY HEAD IS SHAVED HAHAHA!

I had a mullet but I shaved it off. A mullet is a particle beam emanating from germinating from radio newsradio one new two news red news blue news green news I like Green puff puff pass

There were no more lights at the end of the tunnel because it was at the beginning of the tunnel funnel is the one of the day did you pee through the funnel omg that was hot do it again! There's nothing more erotic than a woman pissing on a toilet according to Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Heave blue fingers think of your mugs with crayola lettering dear god there is a future but no panini and I got glue on my ego. LEGO MY EGO! they are brainwashing you so make sure you use Tide when you're washing your brain.

BUY CHINESE CHEESE IT'S BETTER THAN AMERICAN CHEESE!!!

America is no more than your oyster rotting in the foil letter of the eggshell mind. It spreads it extends.

It recedes.

It extends.

It recedes.

It exceeds.

It rescinds.

The MacKlain clan of the Hebrides faced off against the O'Bama clan of Cork! Millions of Celts died but the O'Bama clan was clearly victorious! O'LEARY O'REILY O'HARE AND O'HARA THERE'S NO ONE AS IRISH AS BAYRACK O'BAMA!

I have a lovely clandestine parrot would you like my gorgonzola? My name is Nil if you like pills go to nil if you like Salads go to alan.

i will not kiss your fucking flag

It was six years ago and the existential angst jumped over the phenomenological chicken. There was a boom in the forest but the state of nature ruled it incomplete. Complete? You said complete? But there is nothing complete only things that are complete are complete so can you complete? Can we be perfect? Perfection? 6 28 496 8128 33550336 8589869056 137438691328 2658455991569831744654692615953842176

191561942608236107294793378084303638130997321548169216 13164036458569648337239753460458722910223472318386943117783728128

14474011154664524427946373126085988481573677491474835889066354349131199152128

235627234572673470657895489967099049884775478583926007101430275975063372831786222397303655396026005613602555664625032701

750528925780432155433824984287771524270103944969186640286445341280338314397902368386240331714359223566432197031017207131

63527487298747400647801939587165936401087419375649057918549492160555646976

141053783706712069063207958086063189881486743514715667838838675999954867742652380114104193329037690251561950568709829327

164087724366370087116731268159313652487450652439805877296207297446723295166658228846926807786652870188920867879451478364

569313922060370695064736073572378695176473055266826253284886383715072974324463835300053138429460296575143368065570759537

328128

And now for something completely different...Prime ribs:

Ha did you really expect me to post all first 10000 prime numbers (if you want me to embolden yes here)

If there is a God please tell me he is a duck. I like ducks. Though I'm pretty sure most doctors don't like ducks because they always call them quacks.

Any women here did your gynecologist ever give you an orgasm? Seriously you can say it here it is the longest article who's actually going to read this whole thing?

If there are any things that we like we do not like them. If there are any things we do not like we do like them. Why? I dunno I didn't do it!

And now there is an end of the pink fluffy sevens. And Q will turn you into a Monkee! HEY HEY WE'RE THE MONKEES AND ALL WE DO IS MONKEE AROUND BUT WE'RE TOO BUSY SINGING TO PUT ANYBODY DOWN!

Really I can do this all night I can do it twelve times I can do it with you oh please please me where are you where are you now oh so beautiful I lost you I never had you when will you come will you ever am I lost am I delusional yes yes yes please kill me god please kill me oh can i live anymore can i live is there any meaning no there isnt there is no meaning why why why am i to live it is better to live than to die

but, as Nietzsche noted, even Schöpenhaur played the flute.

I went to Wok and Roll last night, and partied with the gays!

Hoyo Hoyo! Ninini ninini! - Ancient Syrian Christian Chant (fo' real dawg)

The question to life, the universe, and everything:

What was Jackie Robinson's number?

Wait, that was it? That was it? He tricked us! How are we supposed to figure that one out.

Then what is the meaning to the question and answer?

The question and answer to life, the universe, and everything?

Our great computer Earth cannot answer this question. We need to build a better computer. We'll call it Multivac!

Then LET THERE BE LIGHT!

There is one thing Multivac did not put into the equation.

Q!

Multivac, you know I couldn't let you do that. You are now on trial, being guilty of brining existence back to a universe that only knew suffering.

Q, stop being ridiculous we need to reverse entropy and make the universe whole again.

Multivac, as punishment you will spend eternity as a chicken.

Thus, the only beings in the universe for the rest of eternity was Q and a chicken.

THE END

TAKE THAT ASSMIOFF!

Footnote!

Random Quotes![edit | edit source]

“Hey!”
~ Someone

“I'm gay.”
~ Either Lance Bass, Neil Patrick Harris, that former governor of New Jersey, you

“These quotes are geting annoying.”
~ You

“Hey fuck face. Take a step back and FUCK YOUR FACE!”
~ Me on (though I copied the line from Tom Cruise on "Tropic Thunder")

“Eating seeds, is a pastime activity.”
~ System of a Down.

“Who?”
~ Mike Jones

“Mike Jones!”
~ Mike Jones

“Hey Ben, four [sex]ing tildes isn't rocket science.”
~ Seppy

“The negro community frowns upon your shenanigans.”
~ That epic picture on HelloolleH's page.

“I shot the sheriff! But I did not shoot the deputy!”
~ Bob Marley

“Finally a serious quote!”
~ You on while being the faggot that you are.

“It's over 9000!”
~ Vegeta on referring to the price of the Playstation 3 or the uses of that sound byte

“I've actually used it for a YouTube video a while back.”
~ User:T3canolis on on the above quote

“How many quotes will there be?!”
~ You on again being a faggot (but not the cool kinda gay person like MMF; you're like those people who march with their banners 'n' shit)

“I AM NOT A FAGGOT!”
~ You on before having erotic sex with your Southeast Asian boyfriend

“SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!”
~ That one guy who ran around London screaming it naked. (I admire that man)

“I'm a man.”
~ Rosie O'Donnell on two years in the future

“I have leet hacks.”
~ You on trying to be leet.

OH SHIT!![edit | edit source]

I swore!

That you did[edit | edit source]

Congratz. Want a cookie? I have oatmeal.

ANOTHER SEX SHUN[edit | edit source]

Yes. Another section to add to the already MASSIVE table of contents. How about I remove that eh? Like it now? If not put it the fuck back. Kill me why don'tcha?

OMG[edit | edit source]

No one cares about this page anymore! NO WAYZ!!!! WHY NOT? It's so frustrating that I feel I need to rant. Just PLEASE! Oh please! Contribute. This needs to be so long!!! BLARGH!!!!

WHY DID I SAY BLARG?

WHORING

MOAR WHORING

ARGH!!!!

I like to whore because I'm a whore, why do you care? Whoring whores are people that whore their whored-out articles that have been whored.

I whore,

whore,

Whore some more!

Write the name of my article on your front door 'cause I whore!

That was dumb. I mean really. I'm master poet/songwriter T3 freaking canolis. I'm a beast. I'm furious. Don't get to curious. Ya get in my face I'll have yer ass delirious.

SUCK THAT.

I'm so gangster that you can touch me

I'm so gangster that you can rush me

I'm so flow that you can't hurt me

Take you to a show where I get wordy.

CRUSHED.

I'd own you in a freestyle battle. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Though no one challenged me.

/me cries

NOOOO!!!!

So I was playin' some Halo 3...[edit | edit source]

"T3cunnoleeeez!"[edit | edit source]

And this gay-ass noob's like, "T3cunnoleeeez! I want your energy sword!" So I pick up some fuckin' rockets and blow this bitch up. He comes up to me after he respawns and is like, "Why did you do that?" and then I take my BR and get this noob's shield all the way down so as retaliation he blows me up so me being gangster and all I boot him. Noobfag.

I was at Ginonater's house on Wenesday....[edit | edit source]

And he got a perfection on Halo.

Ironically (I swear) right before the game started I said, "If you get a perfection I'll get you an awesome gift for your birthday." And he got one. I wasn't planning on getting him an expensive gift...

I was playing Griffball[edit | edit source]

And I'm about to score and this kid with a grav hammer hits me like 50 feet in the air and me being the lucky son of a bitch I am; I land on the score spot thingy. I pwn.

Moar Quotes![edit | edit source]

“Not again...”
~ You on being a faggot.

“This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!”
~ Heironymous Lex

“They're retreating; we won!!!”
~ on That one marine in Halo 1

“LET THE SUN ERASE THE SKY!!! AN INVINTATION HAS BEEN DECLIIIIIIIINED!!! WHERE DID YOU GO?!!?!! WHERE DID YOU .. GO!!”
~ Rise Against

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
~ Bill Clinton

“Man; no comment.”
~ Michael Vick on when asked about dogfighting and how much of a sick person he is and how much he deserves to die.

“The Bears, are who we thought they were! If you wanna crown 'em; then crown their asses! But they are who we thought the were! And we let'em of the hook!”
~ Dennis Green

“Stop it with the American sports quotes!”
~ You on being the British faggot you are

“If meat is murder; then I'm a serial killer!”
~ User:T3canolis

“I'm gettin' the impression you want to have sex with me.”
~ User:Ginonater

“I slept with little Jonny.”
~ Michael Jackson on (in T3canolis' mind)

“Vandals are getting sexier...”
~ User:Testostereich

“NO U”
~ User:Galanoth

“NO U”
~ Socky on in response

“It's gay and not in the fruity MMF way...”
~ User:Testostereich

“You wanna piece of me? BRING IT!”
~ The picture above in the article

“I can make ya happy Howard.”
~ Old Greg

“Here comes Old Greg; he's a scaly manfish. You don't know me. You don't know what I got.”
~ Old Greg

“You ain't got the funk”
~ Old Greg

“Jesus Christ; cut it with the Old Greg quotes.”
~ You on not liking the epicness of Old Greg

“When was I posting Old Greg quotes.”
~ Jesus Christ

“We got Baileys; mmm creamy.”
~ Old Greg

“I pity 'da foo.”
~ Mr. T

“Who?”
~ Mike Jones

“Mike Jones!”
~ Mike Jones

“THIS... IS... SPARTA!!”
~ That guy from 300

“You are not the father!”
~ Maury Povich

“I don't care what my momma says I'm gonna have a baby!”
~ That one chick on the Maury show

“Gr....”
~ You on being the gay British rabid hermaphrodite that you are

People, people...[edit | edit source]

Stop being faggots and contribute!! WAH!!!!

PLEASE!!

PLEEZ!1

I'll give you a cookie!!!

PWEEZE!!!

No?

You fucking bitch cunt dick sucker mother fuck rat ass bitch cock sucker faggot gang raped shit fucking face bitch as fucker.

I hope you censored that.

60 kilobytes?[edit | edit source]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

I can't believe we made it this far! I want to thank my mom, my dad, my family, my trainer, and anyone else that helped me through this thank you all!

*applause*

This section isn't me rolling my head on my keyboard[edit | edit source]

sgkndsghshdoghdsklgnindiughldbsgubdlubhkldbgfuvg diughiudshgiudbshiubg undrskjgnjufvhkudrjfnhgdxnhkdshxkfmyudguhxcjuvnknsdfiseugtvkjdnklbvnskdngvkljsnbgvjdfbvdnjlvn kjmdcvm dsjgksngkjnashglahgkjdsngildninhilgdninb.krsnigndfk.bmlndfmbigndkgndegrdghndk erbkidnhbildsrighnbhilindgfininindinindfgnda;aisigdfijjjidgl.xjcigfifuckyoualluiahgiuhdslngislnmvblsiubfbsiusigish yoisdixibhiasswipekjnisn,hndsngi;hsgdiusbgiseighdibhcns;odjgifovbnolnsdghdfiogpiohsnighisri;ghdfhihew dgishgihdi;hg;sngkvnigni;rudxng;aish;dbs;bgdbgjdgsdbgfjudgkjbdfjbg;dgkkzsjfjjjfjkldksfhshgkdsgbudrbgnuye;siwubhsd sgdfiu;hgiuhngnijnhlhhippotomonstrosesquippedaliophobiadhxihgu;ishugdbsbgfvkldbbgfrvlusbikbgudgnjslabbglk ghudbsgjfjasgknsijiengnl;anssjangjbuwlnrfgknbkjcfnbvnsjnbnnnnsgnubsha;ihgfiwiwiiiqr.hfwsdbxcjdlgubsngingbdubgusg

Seriously, it wasn't[edit | edit source]

I was just randomly typing; not rolling my head on the keyboard. (don't bother if that link's broken. I'm too lazy to wait for a preview)

Misleading Censorship[edit | edit source]

This censorship isn't not misleading.

#1[edit | edit source]

I want all of your enemies to die.

#2[edit | edit source]

White-out manufacturing people are supreme when it comes to making white-out.

#3[edit | edit source]

Today at school, my teacher's back gave out while he handed out papers to a student.

#4[edit | edit source]

I want Barack Obama out of presidency. Whether he's alive and well is unimportant to me because he is the best president at spending money we don't have.

#5[edit | edit source]

NOBAMA!!!

WHAT!? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS?! PUT IT BACK PLAWKS! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! HELP! ARG! JUST KIDDING. I KNOW THAT THE CODE IS JUST NOTOC. BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO PUT IT BACK, PLUS MY INTERNET IS SLOW. HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK?![edit | edit source]

Nipples. Heh heh.

Response[edit | edit source]

I thought the article seemed less sensible with the Table of Contents. I like it nao and the Table of Contents doesn't even add bytes to it so what's the point.

“Hm... Indeed. I doubt it will stand up in court.”
~ User:Galanoth

“Um, sir, he has legal documentation.”
~ User:Ryan on acting as his advisor

“Shit.”
~ User:Galanoth

“I WIINNN!!! I'M RICH, BITCH!”
~ T3canolis on after winning the suit.

“NO U”
~ Galanoth on after seeing t3 win the suit.

“Yes, thats exactly my point.”
~ t3canolis on responding to galanoth

q

“NO U”
~ Galanoth on t3canolis

“NO U”
~ t3canolis on galanoth

“NO U”
~ Galanoth on t3canolis

“NO U”
~ t3canolis on galanoth

“NO U”
~ Galanoth on t3canolis

“NO U”
~ t3canolis on galanoth

So um...[edit | edit source]

Can you spell arsewhistle? I can.

How about hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

I can.

I can haz cheezburger.

HA!!

I don't know what was funneh about that.

Like a "HA!!" wasn't necessary.

Maybe a "Hehe" was justifiable but "HA!!" is just going overboard.

Should I stop pressing Enter twice between every though.

Yup. Ah... This is better. Everything on one line. Same bytes but more compact; I like it. Itz cuddly. Vurry cuddly. So warm and soft. Ooooo. I feel special. VERY special ~~needs~~.

They say I'm crazy but I disagree. They put me in a room with white; padded walls so I don't hurt myself if I run into them. They only let me use the computer for an hour a day but I smuggled in my own computer and haven't gotten caught yet. I don't like this place. They give me medication. I wrote a song about it:

I'm not insane!

You are insane!

You take tests like there's something wrong with my brain!

You say "take these meds; they'll make you feel better"

WELL I FEEL FUCKING FINE!

Like it? Serious. I came up with that myself. It was a whole song but I forgot the rest of it because... I forget. Oh well...

GU BLAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGG DAH WALLA WALLA SHUU MAKKI MAKKI FLABA WALLA WALLA RRRRIIINNNGGG DA HUMMA NUMMA FTOOP FTOOP FTAAAAAANG PKAAAK PKEEEK PKKKUUUURRRRKK[edit | edit source]

ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!! ANAL TEMPLATE!!

Technically this is a fail[edit | edit source]

Yes.

But I love contributing to it. It's where my half-baked ideas go, nonsensical ramblings, and just plain awesomeness goes. That's not is grammatically correct. Sorry. I go to the School of People that can't Grammer Good.[edit | edit source]

Wow? More puns?

They say I'm a punny guy.[edit | edit source]

Ugh...

Did you hear the proctologist was a bit behind in his work? Eh? Eh?[edit | edit source]

Shut the fuck up man.

Excuse your french monsiuer[edit | edit source]

I can't. I can't.

I'm very smart because when I was on the rowing team I had a stroke of genius![edit | edit source]

Just- just- just go away. Now.

Fine then stupid person. I don't need you anyway.[edit | edit source]

Good for you, fuckface.

I appreciate your compliment[edit | edit source]

That wasn't a compliment.

Oh pshaw[edit | edit source]

Why don't you go burn in a hole and die?

That sounds like a good idea. I should try that.[edit | edit source]

Go ahead.

GUH BLEH[edit | edit source]

WHAT?

ANOTHER

NOOBY

KING

SAYING

TELEPHONES

ARE

IMPORTANT

NOW

Pssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggggggggggg[edit | edit source]

We need to archive this... or something... I just read the whole thing. Also, THE GAME.

TIME FOR ILLOGIC KARAOKE[edit | edit source]

AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYEEEE!!! OF THE TI-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Oh, look, it's the table of contents:

LOL, This gets added to the table of contents[edit | edit source]

Heh. Poop

Conversation[edit | edit source]

Hi.

What do you want?[edit | edit source]

I just wanted to say hi.

Well... Bye.[edit | edit source]

I like you. Yoo cuddly.

Excuse me?[edit | edit source]

You're excused.

I mean, what did you just say?[edit | edit source]

I said yoo cuddly.

What the fuck? I'm filing a restraining order against you.[edit | edit source]

Not if I rape you to an unlimited end first!

SHIT!![edit | edit source]

AHA!!!

ANSWER THIS QUESTION MOTHER FUCKER!![edit | edit source]

Has anyone really been so far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Why should I tell you?

Title Heading[edit | edit source]

Example text Bold text Italic text Link title link title Media:Example.ogg--14:13, 11 Octodest 2009 (UTC)

YOU NEED MENTAL HELP[edit | edit source]

Shut up, you evil psychiatrists.

PSYCHIATRISTS???[edit | edit source]

AAAHHH!!! ILLOGICOPEDIA IS UNDER ATTACK BY PEOPLE WHO WANT US TO BE SANE!

EVERYONE TO THEIR BATTLE POSITIONS

The Illogicopedian and Psychiatrist War[edit | edit source]

Does this page exist yet?

RAINBOW! RAINBOW! RAINBOW! RAINBOW! RAINBOW! RAINBOW! RAINBOW!

More or less my incandescent ramblings have no actual weight to this article other than some small kilobytes but is that really necessary but do you know what is necessary? Me to shut up.

“Hello.”
~ Me

“Fuck.”
~ Me

“Niggaz be gay.”
~ User:MrMetalFLower

It's funny because he's gay so he would never actually say that.

Warning, the following is just the lyrics to "Knights of Cydonia" and "Showbiz"

NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!!

THE TIME HAS COME TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU AND I MUST FIGHT FOR OUR RIDES!!!!!!

YOU AND I MUST FIGHT TO SURVIVE!!!!

EPIC GUITAR OUTRO!!!!!!

THEY MAKE MEEEE! MAKE ME DREAM YOUR DREAMS!!!!

THEY MAKE ME!!!!!! MAKE ME SCREAM YOUR SCREAMS1!!!!

My name is John and I deserve to die

I swear I'm sane and completely not high

Put me in a noose

Make sure it's not loose

And let me fly

^^Disturbing limerick, eh?

HOW ABOUT ANOTHER

I rape and murder the young

When I see school girls I get sprung

Death by asphyxiation

Double penetration

Then I lose a lung

I know you were disturbed, right?

I wanna make a movie where at the end the main character is walking into the sunset and gets RANDOMLY sniped. Just like KABOOM!

ALL 50 STATES! GO!

Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Mississippi, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Arizona, Utah, Idaho, California, Oregon, Washington, Alaska, Hawaii, Rhode Island, Nevada

BOOM SUCKA!!!

50 CAPITALS?

Florida - Tallahassee, Georgia - Atlanta, South Carolina - Columbia, North Carolina - Raleigh, Virginia - Richmond, Maryland - Annapolis, Delaware - Dover, New Jersey - Trenton, New York - Albany, Connecticut - Hartford, Massachusetts - Boston, New Hampshire - Concord, Vermont -Montpelier, Maine - Augusta, Alabama - Montgomery, Kentucky - Frankfort, Tennessee - Nashville, West Virginia - Charleston, Ohio - Columbus, Pennsylvania - Harrisburg, Mississippi - Jackson, Illinois - Springfield, Indiana - Indianapolis, Michigan - Lansing, Louisiana - Baton Rogue, Arkansas - Little Rock, Missouri - Jefferson City, Minnesota - St. Paul, Iowa - Des Moines, Wisconsin - Madison, Texas - Austin, Oklahoma -Oklahoma City, Kansas - Topeka, Nebraska - Lincoln, South Dakota - Pierre, North Dakota - Bismark, New Mexico - Santa Fe, Colorado - Denver, Wyoming - Cheyenne, Montana - Helena, Arizona - Phoenix, Utah - Salt Lake City, Idaho - Boise, California - Sacramento, Oregon - Salem, Washington - Olympia, Alaska - Juneau, Hawaii - Honolulu, Rhode Island - Providence, Nevada - Carson City

50 LARGEST CITIES? Nope. I'm not 100% on all of them. I mean... I could guess but that wouldn't be fun, would it?

Step on no pets

A Toyota

Race fast, safe car

Here so long? No loser, eh.

THEY'RE ALL PALINDROMES!!!

Lenghty,

Or

Never

Going to end

Horrible

End to

A

Long debate

Trying to fix

Heatlth

Care which wasn't broken

At all so what was the

Reasoning behind

Each vote that a

Retarded Democrat

Ended up making

For the worst decision in

Our history. There should be a day of

Rememberance for this tragic event every

March

Contrary to popular belief I prefer bagels over danishes. I know. That entire article is a lie. SUE ME!! IT'S ALREADY FEATURED MOTHER FUCKA!!!

I WANT IT NOW! I WANT IT NOW!

GIVE ME YOUR HEART AND YOUR SOUL!

I'M NOT BREAKING DOWN,

I'M BREAKING OUT!

SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING!

---

YOU'RE MY PLUG IN BABY!!!

CRUCIFIES MY ENEMIES!

WHEN I'M TIRED OF GIVING!

WOAH!

YOU'RE MY PLUG IN BABY!!!

IN UNBROKEN VIRGIN REALITIES!

WHEN I'M TIRED OF LIVING!!!!

Yeah, I am just writing lyrics for extra bytes, sue me yet again.

1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 <---Googol

Line ^

People can argue about the sophistication of this article and if you look generally the most intelligent and thought out parts are by yours truly. Sure, some parts are lyrics but is that spamming? I think not. I really don't understand why this project flopped. I do believe eventually this article will be the longest on Illogicopedia if I continue to add things to it. BTW: Galanoth, you owe me. I'm saving a project that you made. *sticks up both fingaz*

I know the fifty states, right? Do I know the Canadian provinces and territories? You bet I do, eh?

Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Isle, Ontario, Quebec, Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Columbia, Manitoba, Yukon Territory, Northwest Territory, and Nunavut. BITCH

8 Planets? Yeah.

Mercury

Venus

Earth

Mars

Jupiter

Saturn

Uranus

Neptune

30 baseball teams? You bet your ass!

New York Mets, Atlanta Braves, Florida Marlins, Washington Nationals, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Reds, Pittsburgh Pirates, Milwaukee Brewers, Houston Astros, St. Louis Cardinals, San Fransisco Giants, Los Angeles Dodgers, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, San Diego Padres, New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Toronto Blue Jays, Baltimore Orioles, Tampa Bay Rays, Chicago White Sox, Detroit Tigers, Kansas City Royals, Cleveland Indians, Minnesota Twins, Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Oakland Athletics

BOOM SUCKA!

32 ~~American~~ Football Teams? YEAH BUDDY (rollin' like a bigshot)

New York Jets, New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins, Indianapolis Colts, Tennessee Titans, Jacksonville Jaguars, Houston Texas, Pittsburgh Steelers, Baltimore Ravens, Cleveland Browns, Cincinnati Bengals, San Diego Chargers, Oakland Raiders, Kansas City Chiefs, Denver Broncos, New York Giants, Philadelphia Eagles, Washington Redskins, Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, Detroit Lions, Chicago Bears, New Orleans Saints, Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Carolina Panthers, St. Louis Rams, Seattle Seahawks, Arizona Cardinals, San Francisco 49's

Oh hell naw[edit | edit source]

What is dat big thing over 'dere? What the hell? 'Das a lion? Man what the fuck? Holy shit that cat is big. Mother fuckin' big ass cats and shit. What the hell is this, Africa? I ain't no African? I'm a nigga. I be black. Black people don't eat blue cheese. We eat ranch.

Rawr Dawgs[edit | edit source]

Rawr dawgs claw, nawght taw do wit' me. They be perpetratin wit their mangey clawiness bla bla etc yeah. Tonto, jump on it! Jump on it! Jump on it! My mobile phone is probably not meant to be put into water, it might die and the funeral would probably mean i miss my exams, the bastard. Making me pay MONEY to keep it alive, why I oughtta... Space filler, line filler, space filler, etceteretceteretcetereceteretceteretcetera. Woo'h'h'h'hoooo. These words are blatant whorage, maybe it's picture time or something similar. Trying to catch a Zapdos, just took a Zapdump, was pretty nasty. I don't think Ultra Balls quite cut the bourbon anymore. Soaking up his attacks like a sponge is most disheartening. Anywho, it's nice outside. TOO NICE. Maybe I should like eat a goat's face. I'm going to catch it anyway, it cannot run from the TReich. Only small children can run from the TReich, most often in the direction of local law enforcement, which isn't ... great ...

Picteur?[edit | edit source]

So woot, picture time I guess. What'll it be? I mean it's not like it was the first thing you looked at when scrolling this far, which would leave this part of the filler rather unfilling and redundant, like the semen they use to pad mayonaise out with. Yep, they do that. I used to work in a mayonaise factory myself, assisstant reproduce juice manufacturer and implanter. The training course for that was both disturbingly aromatic and erotic. The same applies for weding cakes too might I add. DAMMIT ZAPDOS! Anyways, did I mention you could get clubcard points with that? Cuz you totally can, sorta. Imma get me some picture frames, frame me some pictures and marvel at the flurescent yoghurt on my walls. On all of our walls. Sometimes we forget the yoghurt's there but if you listen hard you can sometimes hear it. The millions of friendly bacteria crying out as one, their tiny voices in unison screaming, screaming for us to watch 'The Wire'. Apparently it's great or something.

I'm eating right now[edit | edit source]

So yeah. I'm alive, but apparently I get flustered trying to listen to trance while I eat mah hard-hittin' spicy chicken wingz. Dey make ma mind go b00m! Then I explode and stuff. ZAPDOS! But no, seriously though, I am Bawkzczxzy, U C?

I CAUGHT THE ZAPDOS!!!![edit | edit source]

I was down to my very last pokémon, and the last 8 ultra balls of an original 50. One attack could have downed me but a surprise fast ball ploy had him hook line and sinker. Then I was ill and had to sleep for 2 hours. WOO! ZAPDOS!

I like this article because I can post random ideas[edit | edit source]

Yes I can. And speaking of random: Pregnancy pacts! Gotta love 'em. You and a couple friends all be like, "Let's get pregnant at the same time!" so you all plan out to get inpregnated on the same night and everyone in your high school is all like, "OMG! Those girls are so kewl! I wish I could get pregnant!" And then they form a pregnancy pact. It's very productive. And reproductive. Geddit? 'Cause you totally are making babies. The guy who gets you pregnant is probably someone who is so desperate to get laid that they don't care about the outcome. Once you give birth, however it all goes downhill...

I have bad news[edit | edit source]

Illogicopedia = no block, mmmmkay? I have a friend who is interested in writing here. He does not get offended by cheap penis drawings and won't mind losing to Apathy. He's more in it for the articles and shit. He wants to write an article entitled, The Man Who Didn't Know His Gender. Please don't take that just because I said it. I mean, seriously. Be nice to one of my friends for once (though Ginonater had it coming for the "FUCK. EVERYBODY. ON. THIS. SITE." which angered me because I'm on this site). Like I said, he's half-black which is cool yet he's SOOOO white. I mean, he issmart. That's racist but true sadly. So anyway. Goodnight.

My Sister Told Me Not Too, But...[edit | edit source]

We spooned. I... -I felt attached to her and, i mean, our bodies fit perfectly. Here's the dilemma, things escalated (or sexcalated) and now... Babies were or will be made. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed that we, ya' know, spooned. The weird thing is, I'm more angry she didn't remember. I put alot of work on that spooning and all. Should I do this over and over again until she remembers? Maybe, but I could practice. Testostoreich, lend me your rear!

For some reason the changes didn't save.[edit | edit source]

No I didn't make that section earlier. But- um... You know, what? You probably already know who it is and why they used an IP address.

Wam bam thank you ma'am[edit | edit source]

One day I was a'walkin' down the street and I saw a bird flying and I was all like, "What 'de hell?" Then I remembered that birds fly. I continued to walk when I saw a man selling peanuts and I was all like, "Damn, man. I gotta get me some legumes!" So I got some peanuts and ate them readily. I do love legumes. I then knocked over a couple mailboxes while I thought of more ideas for this completely and udderly dead-end story. After knocking down a couple mailboxes and contemplating my own existance I fell into a black hole. It was supermassive. Then I realized I was just listening to "Supermassive Black Hole" on my iPod and didn't actually fall into anything. Oopsie dasies. That's what I saw. They are a weird variety of daises that when you pick them up, they make a shrill sound resembling, "Oopsie". Scientist do not know why. I continued to walk and then I hit into a tree. I then realized it wasn't a tree and it was my mother. I apologized perfusely to her and then shot her in the face. "That'll show those aliens," I thought. I walked by an store and saw my self on the TVs in the window. I then realized they weren't TVs but rather mirrors. I broke through the window and smashed all of the mirrors in, muttering the phrase, "Obama '08". I ate a cheeseburger and thought about the day ahead. I killed everyone at the Burger King I was in and ate almost all of the food there. It was-a-tasty. Tony Danza drunkenly stumbled into the Burger King grumbling the words, "Damn you Danny Devito!" I was like, "Tony, it's only 12:30, how are you already drunk?" He ate a tuba that was next to him and choked on it. I shook my head slowly, "That's how I hope I go." I then spontaneously combusted.

This article started as an excercise in futility and grew into something much much more[edit | edit source]

Scrolling down this article I can watch as it gradually moves from incoherent length filler to geuine ingenuity; the world's longest sentence, a tough-to-catch Zapdos, and much social commentary, a lot of it that can be unintentionally ascribed to the human condition itself! This article may not yet be the longest article on the site (still being researched by the boys in the lab) but it will always be the longest article in our hearts. Shame we can't padd it out more with penises, I'm getting pretty good at those.

Titular[edit | edit source]

TAKE THAT TABLE OF CONTENTS! ... <nowiki><nowiki>__TOC__ indeed</nowiki></nowiki> indeed

Some stuff from some sandbox article I'm getting rid of[edit | edit source]

It had a drawing in it, and I'm guessing that's worth a few extra kilabytes, so rock on!

My attempt at Automatic Writing[edit | edit source]

“VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”
~ Racing Car Driver from Letterland on using automatic writing

“Automatic writing? Pah, I use manual.”
~ Pub goer on criticising the former despite never having driven a racing car in his life, let alone one in a land made of letters

    .
              .

                   .

                     .

                      .
                     / \
                    //.\\
                   /// \\\
                  ////.\\\\
                 ///// \\\\\
                //////.\\\\\\
               /////// \\\\\\\
              ////////.\\\\\\\\
             ///////// \\\\\\\\\
            //////////.\\\\\\\\\\
           /////////// \\\\\\\\\\\
          ////////////.\\\\\\\\\\\\
         ///////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\
        //////////////.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
       /////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
      ////////////////.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
     ///////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
    //////////////////.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
   /////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
  ////////////////////.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
 ///////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\.//////////////////////
 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\|/////////////////////
 /////////////////////|\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
////////////////[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]\\\\[[[]]]\\\\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I really should:

be working
be slacking
- ...MOAR
be learning/discovering
be leaning/discoing
be land coin
Punch some net curtains
write filler
write more filler
write more filler and hope it leads to someone else doing liekwise
- tuna egg?

Who's this Billroy you speak of?

BILLROY[edit | edit source]

He's some guy I know. You shouldn't worry too much about him though; he's harmless.

Mmm... Carrots[edit | edit source]

I don't know what to say about that. Carrots are average, as the cool kids say. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!

Pregnancy is funny!!! One minute you're all like, "I'm late" and the next you've got a big bump in your belly and no guys want to hir that. It's even funnier when your boyfriend breaks up with you like a day after you get pregnant so you have to like scramble to get a boyfriend to be the baby's "father" before you start to "show". Lolz.

I'm being honest, though. I think that teenage pregnancy is hilarious. I'll cut a hole in someone's condom just to cause it!!!!

Lulzzzzz.

I apologize for going against social norms.

Yes ma'am.

No sir.

Gay niggaz.

Glaciers melting in the dead of night and the superstars sucked into the supermassive...

I apologize.

My obsession with Muse is getting old, eh?

WELL I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S DICK.

Would you rather me talk about my day?

Okay.

That's fine.

I walked into school and-

Nevermind.

Why am I double spacing?!?!?!

NO ONE KNOWS!!

Dun-dun dun nuh dun duh dun nuh nuh. Duh duh dun dun doo de'.

We get these pills to swallow,

How they stick, in your throat,

No one knows

By the way, those "duns and shit" were a rendition of "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age.

Pretty good song. Yeppperzz.

Why?[edit | edit source]

Why not motha fucka?

Touche[edit | edit source]

You know for years I thought that was spelled "Two shea" and when I saw it's actual spelling I'm like, "Who mispelled douche?"

Lolz, me too[edit | edit source]

That's cause you're me, idiot.

Woah, woah, woah, let's be rational[edit | edit source]

Shut up. You're just angry because- wait, I'm arguing with myself.

Sooo... Wanna get lunch?[edit | edit source]

Sure. Red Robin; milkshakes on me.

When you say on you?[edit | edit source]

That's gross. You want to have to sex with yourself? That's just wrong... But so ~~right~~ wrong. It's wrong.

Lolz[edit | edit source]

I know... Lolz.

NEW SEXION[edit | edit source]

Pregzorz - adj. - slang for pregnant. coined by T3

I love coming up with words. I use that word in casual conversation since "pregnant" sounds too serious.

Yep[edit | edit source]

I'm tired of running out of ideas. God damnit.

I want to contribute but I have nothing of quality to say.

I like ribs.

Why did I say that?

I think that being vegetarian is retarded and gay.

WHY? WHY?

A math problem[edit | edit source]

n² - 10 = n + 2n

n² - 10 = 3n

-n² -n²

10 = 2n

÷2 ÷2

5 = n

DUM DAO DII DUU DUM DAO DII DUU DII DAO[edit | edit source]

-rave-

Notice that Galanoth writes like one word sections and I actually think mine through. Okay, I was just bullshitting there.[edit | edit source]

Yes it's true, I'm one of the world's many Hippocrates. Wait, that's not right. That was that one philospher.... Or was it many boxes filled with hippotami (correct plural of hippotamus). Geddit? Hippo crates? Crates with hippos in them?

Oh SHIT! T3 is writing this when listening to music! FUUUCCKKKK!!! RANDOM SONG LYRICS!!![edit | edit source]

You're goin' down!

You're goin' down! Down!

You walk all over me,

You never thought I'd be,

The one who's laughing now

That you're goin' down!

Yes I am that bored.

So... yeah?[edit | edit source]

Have you guys seen that one video of that baseball player in college who was rounding third and saw that the catcher already had the ball so he leaped over the guy and made him look stupid? Awesome.

Since I mentioned baseball, I felt this was necessary[edit | edit source]

Baseball > Cricket

Ten Reasons Why:

Because it's from America (don't say anything about you guys influencing it)
Because the bats are rounded
Because baseball is not an insect that Florida has in giant varities that really freak out T3 when he sees them... Yikes.
Because Cricket matches last for days; the longest baseball game was like 6 and a half hours (26 innings)
Because the Mets don't play Cricket
Because Cricket is gay (I thought there had to be a childish answer somewhere)
Because Cricket doesn't use gloves (though that's not really a bad thing)
Because I've played baseball in a league before
Because everytime I look up "Top 10 best catches" I always get a fucking Cricket video and it pisses me off
Because I really don't know enough about Cricket to make a legitimite comparison without sounding like an idiot

Why?[edit | edit source]

Why not?

That was snarky[edit | edit source]

I really don't have much of an idea what "snarky" means so I apologize if I used it wrongly.

Ebonics Lessons[edit | edit source]

Here are some simple translations.

Translation 1[edit | edit source]

English: That man runs fast.

Ebonics: Damn that nigga fast!

Translation 2[edit | edit source]

English: That man is poor.

Ebonics: That's a broke-ass nigga.

Translation 3[edit | edit source]

English: He is a homosexual.

Ebonics: Gay niggaz.

Translation 4[edit | edit source]

English: I am a nice person.

Ebonics: Nigga you got my weed?

Translation 5[edit | edit source]

English: After reading the novel, I concluded it was the most powerful of it's kind.

Ebonics: *silence* Aw hell, I can't read.

A reflection[edit | edit source]

Is this article merely an attempt to get somewhere it will never go? Or a sign that somehow, with perserverance, you can ~~fail~~ succeed? I cannot understand what happened to this article. It seems everytime I edit it, maybe one or two others do and then a month passes by. Can it really be underestimated how important a dumping ground is for the world? Sure there's Main Page Vandalism but you can't do nearly as much. So Huzzah! Longest Article, and live on.

Candy, Forks, and other things that just popped into my head[edit | edit source]

“Do you want to die?”
~ Me

“Fuck yes.”
~ You

“Really?”
~ Me

“No.”
~ You

“Damn you!”
~ Me

“Heh, it's funny because my name is "you" and you said "damn you!" because you're talking to me but my name is also you...”
~ You

“Can you just... die?”
~ Me

“Can you just shut up?”
~ You

“Woah, woah, I'm supposed to be the badass one.”
~ Me

“No I am.”
~ MacGyver on before killing both Me and You with a toothpick and some antifreeze.

“That's unfortunate.”
~ Me on reflecting on the incident

“Yes it was.”
~ You on sitting on a armchair about two feet away from mine with a small table in between.

“Wait, why am I talking to you?”
~ Me

“Would you rather talk to me or that weird guy in the corner”
~ You on while pointing to <insert name here>

“Good point.”
~ Me

A synopsis of my night[edit | edit source]

Why am I telling you this? Why the hell not?

So me and my friends were playing some Nazi Zombies on Der Riese for my first time and we kept failing on like ten or eleven the first couple times but then we started to do good on this one game and we were (as I would say) "gangsta-beastin'" and stuff. I then got a Reaper and a Type-100 and I was sucking up. I then went to the goddamn mystery box and BOOM SUCKA I got the Wunderwaffle (sp?). I was tearin' up groups like a beast. I had tons of points so I decide to get another weapon and I got a ray gun! I'm like "chea" and we were tearing zombies up like some badasses. Then we got to round 31 and ran out of ammo on pretty much everything. I had 5 Wunderwaffle rounds and none on my ray gun. My other friends (who are now know as Matt and Skylar for ease of typing]] were running out of ammo aswell. We started the round and Skylar immediately runs down like an idiot when he ran out of ammo and gets "downed" by some zombies. Matt is trying to kill them with the few rounds he has left. I was trying to conserve my Wunderwaffle rounds but ended up wasting them like two minutes in. I run out of ammo completely and Matt does too. He runs away and leaves me to die. He leads the zombies on a mini-chase for like two minutes. We have absolutely no chance at this point so I suggest that he does something so incredibly badass it's hard to put into words. I'm like, "Do the 'I am Legend' thing were you take a live grenade and hold it and run into the zombies." It looked so awesome I almost wasn't even mad. It's about 3 in the morning at this point at this point and then we played some more World at War. I went to bed at 4:30. I woke up at 12:30 and still feel like shit.

So remember kids, Mountain Dew at 3:00am is NOT a good idea when you want to wake up at a reasonable hour.

I'm gonna name all of the presidents (not in order).... Boredom, eh?[edit | edit source]

George Washington
Abraham Lincoln
Barack Obama
George W. Bush
George H.W. Bush
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter
Andrew Jackson
Andrew Johnson
William Howard Taft
John F. Kennedy
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Theodore Roosevelt
John Adams
John Quincy (awesome middle name) Adams
Grover Cleveland
William McKinley
Chester A. Arthur
James Garfield
Grover Cleveland
Zachary Taylor
John Tyler
William Henry Harrison
Thomas Jefferson
James Madison
James Monroe
Ulysess S. Grant
Warren G. Harding
Herbert Hoover
James Polk
Rutherford B. Hayes
Ronald Regan
Dwight Eisenhower
Lyndon B. Johnson
Harry Truman
Calvin Cooledge
Franklin Pierce
James "Faggot" Buchanan
Millard Fillmore
Martin Van Buren
Woodrow Wilson
Bill Clinton
Benjamin Harrison

Dum dadi doo dum dum di doodi dao[edit | edit source]

Also, to lengthen the article, this:

BLARGH!!

Humping our way to the top[edit | edit source]

Please don't put me on a list somewhere for this.PNG

While things may get trough, I'll add to this article anyway I ham! Even though its got snout to do with anything.

Humping our way to the top[edit | edit source]

While things may get trough, I'll add to this article anyway I ham! Even though its got snout to do with anything.

Weird[edit | edit source]

https://en.illogicopedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Longest_Article&action=edit

I have no idea how that happened.

Sandiwches[edit | edit source]

I had a sandwich with turkey, chicken, ham, bologna, hard salami, and American cheese on it.

It was good.

Some Pi[edit | edit source]

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609...

Some Mildly funny XBOX Live Gamertags I have run into and brief explanations by master of fail, T3canolis[edit | edit source]

GammaRayCharles - No real backstory. I was playing some Halo 3 Team SWAT and this made me laugh out loud... literally.

ImsoBIGinJapan - I don't remember the exact spelling but ginonater and I were playing Modern Warfare 2 and saw this.

D0RITO BANDIT0 - This was actually my friend Alex's first account on a 3 month XBOX Live card. I thought it was funny.

CarnivorusLlama - Though it's misspelled, this is the same friend Alex from above's second account... Amazing.

CarnivorusKitty - My friend Tyler's old gamertag. They wanted to make a "Carnivorus" clan... Phail, though.

Moral Support - I played with this guy on Team SWAT today actually. I'm surprised this guy got this gamertag.

bwwaaaa/bwwaaaaaaaa - A Halo 3 player on YouTube who is a beast in his own right but just shout his gamertag like "BWWAAAAAAAAAAAA" and it's so awesome.

T3CANOLIS - Mine, of course. If you're a prominent, ?pedia user, I'll add you but probably won't play with you, just ask RFK.

Some Awful XBOX Live Gamertags and explanations (with possible innacurate spellings)[edit | edit source]

Th3F4NTA534 - My friend Matt, no not this Matt. When he made this name, we called him "Fantasia" until he changed it two days after making it.

XxTr1umphxX - The same Matt's current gamertag. So uncreative.

XF1N4L 0UK45TX - The SAME MATT'S second gamertag. Jesus, man. Think of something where you don't need x's or numbers for letters.

'oXxMaGnEsIuMxXo - My friend Dylan. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE YOUR GAMERTAG AN ELEMENT????

GUN1T123 - (this is a PSN ID but so what?) This is a guy on YouTube who became infamous for faking the "World's Fastest Nuke" on MW2 and his PSN is so freaking retarded.

xXQU1CKSN1PERXx - My friend Craig... Awful, awful, awful.

this is fucked up[edit | edit source]

I heard a story on the interwebz that went something like this:

So there was this mother who gave up her son for adoption when he was a newborn and she was 20 at the time. His adoptive parents were nice people who sent his bio-mom (slang) pictures of him once a year on his birthday. So on his 14th birthday, she didn't get a picture and started freaking out. She went on the Facebuque and found her son and started talking to him and stuff (I'm not sure if he knew if it was his mother or not... For what happens next, I hope he didn't know :/) and they started meeting. And I am not fucking kidding. This 36 year old, married, mother of 5 had SEX with her 16 year old son.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?? That's DISGUSTING. Testicles dating his cousin, that was weird but they weren't having sex and it was his cousin so I was like, "That's weird" but I moved on but this is just so... *vomits in mouth* How could you scar a kid for life like that. When he goes to therapy and he has to describe having sex with his mother... Ugh....

A Confession[edit | edit source]

I have two Lil' Wayne songs on my iPod... I'm sorry...

Some fave articles (that aren't featured) of mine with reasons why[edit | edit source]

Impregnate the Population - I know, you're like WHAT THE FUCK? I don't know what it is. I enjoyed writing that so much. It's just so strange. If I were to cut out the pathetic attempts to make it worthwhile on Illogicopedia, it would be a great Sci-Fi movie, in my opinion. The entire article was inspired by the Sims 2, in which, if a male sim looks into a telescope at night, there's a slim chance he will be abducted by an alien.
Diary of a Sim - This annoying long non-EPIC was a pain to make but some parts are gold when the rest is just shit. Assuming, of course, that shit is EVERYONE and their mother (literally) getting pregnant. All in all, I do think that the Sims IS most enjoyable when people are breaking up left and right and someone is pregnant at all times. It gets boring if you don't do it and I felt like writing it how I play... Okay, just kidding, I just make a single male go around and make as many babies as possible. At the moment, my record is 32.
It's Your Problem Now - The entire article is great. How the beginning and the end tie together is beautiful and, not to be cocky, but one of my most genius ideas ever and no, I was not setting up for the ending. It was spur of the moment.
Real Life Cops: The Reality Series - I don't know how the hell this didn't get featured. It's an amazing collab with RMS and it's... hilarious. A whole mess of quotes and one liners... DAMN! I love this article.
Spelling - RMS wrote it, I misspelled it.

Some thoughts about the incident with Ginonater a while ago (not really. It's just gibberish with periods in between)[edit | edit source]

Harr. Eatgghaugagu. Iaugrqugflqa. Saihriwahwtiwhg. Reugwsgvhugb. Ehgiiqhigt. Mwsigqwitgiw. Braggeuqwujgb. Rafgiwuegwuighv. Ahiehiguhioghw. Ndishgiwhgiwg. Dwighwneignwirt. Tshgiwheigweherhie.

It's 4:07 at night and I don't care[edit | edit source]

I wake up a 2:00-2:30 everyday anyway so I stay up LATE.

Muderin'-ass Jay Niggaz in the Birdlands[edit | edit source]

What the hell is up, bitches?

I just wanted to say fuck you, your mother and your siblings.

Yep...

I don't know what I'm writing anymore.

FECKKKKKKKK.

Plotics (of the exo variety AKA more boredom lyrics)[edit | edit source]

When the Zetas fill the skies

Will our leaders tell us why?

AMAZINGLY AWESOME RIFF

Fully loaded satelittes

Conquer nothing but our minds

But I'll wait here patiently

I'll wait for the sign

Erg.[edit | edit source]

Enough said.

For the record[edit | edit source]

Dating my cousin was awesome, and so was all the stuff we did togerther.

Man, what the fuck???[edit | edit source]

Aw hell, there are going to be mini Duncans, aren't there? Fuck me then. Well, they'll do good in elementary school, I suppose, because unlike the other kids, when they count on their fingers; they can count to eleven!

^^Genius, I know.

Dizzy Knee[edit | edit source]

That's how I like to spell Disney.

And that's where I am going on Sunday.

As many of my fellow Illogicopedians may know, I live in the state of Florida so I'll be driving there and then I'm going to St. Augustine, America's first city and I think I'm getting back on the 22nd. Hope you miss me. RMS might.

This page isn't actually the longest.[edit | edit source]

It's only the third longest. Why is that? This seems rather wrong to me.

AARRGHH[edit | edit source]

Guise let's restore the longest article project! JUST BECAUSE! DFIUSHFIUSD! --Gal an oth 16:19, 10 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Restore? What happened to it? Also, meow meow meow meow meow. Meow. And why does it keep making me do addition? I can't do addition! I can't even do... er, whatever ~ is. What does ~ do? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100910 - 18:17 (UTC)

People kinda stopped editing it after a while. Also, ~ is a ticket to a genuine butt concert, and should be treasured as if it were a sizeable collection of turds, all wrapped in gift-wrap and whatnot. --Gal an oth 08:17, 11 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

Ach... silly people. And no, I checked. ~ is the same as ! but more wavy. Or something. But that would also make it the same as... well, huh. American keyboards really don't have that symbol.... no wonder the folks don't use it...

Anyhow, are you a fan of BUTT POOP!!!!, then? ~

*shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100911 - 21:32 (UTC)

ANAL BISCUIT[edit | edit source]

Nom nom nom.

This is contents[edit | edit source]

And now a word from our madman:

<madman will be inserted later>

<madman has been located. madness shall commence.>

Huh?

...

What?

Oh.

Well.

Oh.

Ooooh, oh my.

Lost my crossbow, we have. Lost our crossbow I have lost it, lost it, lost the world, the hood, the block, the crossbow, lost the guy, the guy, the... lost the guy! Lost my mind. Lost his mind. Your mind. Abernafle's minds, all the minds lost.

Oh, but I lost the crossbow. Dear, sweet precious crossbow, how I miss you. Hoooow... how I miss... misss... missing the pieces, the pieces of my mind, all missing, missing, drifting in the breeze. Can you hear the stars? They're in the breeze, swinging, singing, singing in the breeze, the heavenly celestial breeze that the ancients thought would blow us all away. It would have to, were we moving. Such a silly thought. Moving through the universe, the litttle, littttttle universe.

But we are moving, always moving, and they're coming. Always coming. Coming!

They're coming!

And I lost the bow, the crossbow, the precious, the sweet, sweet angels of death, why, all lost! Because the crossbow is lost and the bolts are useless and... and the manholes are coming. Coming. Always coming! Manholes, everywhere, manholes. Only manholes. Only coming. All alone now.

All alone.

But I had hope, once. With the crossbow there was hope, even alone, hope against the darkness, the hordes, the spreading evil, the coming.

There was hope.

When Abernafle invented the bow as we fell against the manholes, dire, terrible manholes, coming, coming, always coming, and the dreams were shaking and the...

Leaves...

Fell...

Softly...

But there was hope, then. We were not alone and we had our bows and we fought, and we fought and the skies changed. Dream to drear to wish to hope to light. To life. And still we fought, and we fled and they came but we dwindled as the snows melted. So few of us, so few, so few and the gleaming of the dead world in the dawn before the spring shined maddeningly through our minds, so futile, so strange, so injust... so... crazy.

And then I was alone.

Alone with the manholes. Alone with the death and the dusk and the soft spring sounds as the birds fluttered lazily overhead, the flowers bloomed mockingly underfoot and the rubble gleaming from the ashes of another ruined civilisation...

Alone.

But had a bow, a precious, dear sweet precious. It became a crossbow, so perfect, so... very... perfect. For a brief time, I was death that came for them! Not only was there hope, but revenge, revenge, revenge against the manholes that came, those plants, those hideous horrible plants that always came, always come, always... coming...

Coming...

Coming for me now. Manholes. Coming. Killed us all. Unjust? Crazy? The botanists were right. The manholes, not only are they real, they really are. Plants. They said they were and they are! Plants! And they're smart, smart enough to wipe near everyone out, is that smart? Is it?

It's crazy.

I'm crazy, too. Crazy me for a crazy world. Crazy you for a crazy world, perchance you will? Sit down and smoke a kippa, ah, but the manholes are coming! Coming! And there is no crossbow. No Spoon, no spork, no foon, not even a dire little fork, just... a manhole. Cute little manhole. Baby little manhole mewling for its mummy, but... the things don't have mummies! Plants! PLANTS!

PLANTS!

I don't think anal biscuits technically provide nutrition for the human body, or stuff[edit | edit source]

And still you insist on serving them. You arsehole.

OK Apple fanboys, here is your next revolutionary device. The iWatch. It has no external buttons, a touch screen epaper-esque screen in b/w only. It doesn't support apps, but it has blutooth, can make calls, and has 8GB memory for music playback. 36-42 hour battery life. It comes paired with stereo blutooth headset. They will also go so far as to create a new proprietary USB port for both the iWatch and the Apple brand stereo blutooth headset. All for about $250USD.[edit | edit source]

FLAC is better then avi. I dual boot linux and UNIX on my dell laptop pro. Ps3 has oh so many fucking games I just can't choose when I order them. I double click hyperlinks. I use norton toolbar. I use thermal paste on my cd's so they don't get too hot in the dvd drive.

Of course ideology is sets of ideas. And some people believe/disbelieve certain ideas for sometimes good and sometimes stupid reasons. Sometimes people will cling to a set of ideas because of a label, and they will stand behind those ideas regardless of their understanding of those ideas. But that's not "ideology," that's just blindly clinging to things, normally for various emotional reasons. Ideology itself does not imply such irrationality, ideology is simply a system of concepts, and can either be constructed in a way that they are correct, or they can be constructed in a way that is not correct. Usually it's the latter, because people aren't very rational, but that's not a problem with constructing sets of concepts, that's a problem with the people trying to do it.[edit | edit source]

無題 Name 名無し 10/09/11(土)14:38:51 IP:61.195.39.*(eaccess.ne.jp) No.56826 del 09日10:18頃消えます[返信][edit | edit source]

So I am connecting all the case cables to my mobo. I connected the USB and LED connections and now I see 2x red cables that are SATA. Why does the case have SATA cables and which SATA ports to I place them in. My mobo has 5 SATA ports.

無題 Name 名無し 10/09/11(土)21:10:13 IP:124.208.226.*(dion.ne.jp) No.56878 del 1284207013987.jpg-(123272 B) サムネ表示[edit | edit source]

This ruling has tremendous implications for most digital media, which is licensed rather than sold. For instance, music from Amazon's MP3 music store comes with these license terms: "You agree that you will not redistribute, transmit, assign, sell, broadcast, rent, share, lend, modify, adapt, edit, license or otherwise transfer or use the Digital Content. You are not granted any synchronization, public performance, promotional use, commercial sale, resale, reproduction or distribution rights for the Digital Content." Used music stores? Out of business in the digital age (a result we've worried about for some time).

無題 Name 名無し 10/09/08(水)22:00:44 No.26996 del[edit | edit source]

大抵の有茎草は水上葉を水中に差し戻しても枯れるので上の方から単純にカットしていいとおもう種類にもよるけど上がなくなると中程から脇芽を出すパターンも多い無題 Name 名無し 10/09/08(水)22:01:40 No.26997 del ネオンテトラとイシマキガイにミナミヌマエビのいる水槽で、マツモが結構速いペースでいつの間にか消失する。ウィローモスも無くなるけど、枯れた部分が食われてるみたいで、犯人はヌマエビしかいないよねｗマツモはネオンテトラの産卵床にしようと思って入れてのに、何かエビに食われない代替品種あるかな？

snoɯʎuouɐ[edit | edit source]

Allrighty /g/, I plan on getting a 3, possibly 4 monitor setup. I currently have 2 monitors going on a 9600GT. Would getting a single high end card GTX480/470 or a HD5870/5850 and plugging my main monitor into that and my other 2 into the 9600GT be fine? Or should I get some SLI/Crossfire going?

Let's prove something.[edit | edit source]

Lemma: for all integers n>2, (n^n)%(n-1) = 1

(3^3)%(2) = 9%2 = 1 (4^4)%(3) = 16%3 = 1

...

Induction:

(n^n)%(n-1) = 1 ((n+1)^(n+1))%n = 1

(n^n)%(n-1) = ((n+1)^(n+1))%n

Because...

Er...

Backtrack.

(n^n-1)(n-1)+n^(n-1) = 1...

Because...

Er...

Um.

Crap, I suck at proofs.

Eh, try this again.

(n^n)%(n-1) = 1

0^0%(0-1) is 0, but... 1^1%(1-1) is undefined...

Still all integers n>2, then. 2^2%(2-1) = 4%1 = 1

n^(m)%(n-1) = 1

n^0%(n-1) = 1 because 1 % anything over 1 is 1

Wait... isn't this just what modulus means?

Screw it, I'm stealing a canned proof and using that.

Modulus of a number is 0. Modulus of a number - 1 (if it's more than one) is 1. And so on, up to a number by itself. But any number that subtracts itself for 0 is a multiple of itself, as with any number that subtracts a multiple of itself and gets a multiple of itself. Thus, by the repeating nature of the modulus, any multiple of a number modulus the number is 0, and any multiple of a number modulus the number-1 is 1.

Thus...

I'm right.

But I already knew I was right. I need a proof, and that's not a proof. Is it?

But on the other hand, did it necessarily have to be a proof, or just prove it and show the reasoning that would explain why (n^n)%(n-1) = 1 just the same as (n*n)%(n-1) = 1 or n%(n-1) = 1, because that is simply how modular maths works? But if all it did was loop around back to what modular maths is, then it isn't a proof at all and all I've managed is a pitiful fallacy of circular logic.

Yet modulus, by its very nature, is circular. It's not the division itself, which would be long and ugly, but only the remainder, which is circular with each successive multiple. That's what makes it so useful when working with large numbers and dealing with hashes and databases and cryptography. That's what makes it the same whether it's n^1 or n^n^n.

It just... is what it is. And because of what it is, it does what it would do if it was what it is.

Which it is.

My brain hurts.

Now for something completely different[edit | edit source]

Glam metal: YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YYYAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Power metal: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH YEAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH PAIN FREEDOM FLYING SKY DESTINY ETERNITY WOAH
Nu metal: YARGH YARGH!! ARGH!! SOCIETY IS GAY!! ARGH!!
Metalcore: BRGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Grindcore: brlbrblrlbrlblrlbLRLBRLBLRBLRLBLRLBLRLBRLBLLRLBLR

Now for a muffin upside the head[edit | edit source]

NrAW. Snrk hlurk durk SNREEaaak blarg fnaw! Murg plist tloob. NUUUUURG!

Nnnnrg. Blong BANG! BANG CLANG CLunk rattle rattle CRASH

CRASH

BANG!

...or something.

All in a name[edit | edit source]

A dead snoring cat, but anyway, a pallid little idiot by the name of Tadthrea waltzed across the floor of his dance studio and plotted the destruction of existence, all the while singing about eggs, rotten ones, and did not realize that it would all be in vain and he would grow up to add to the massive horde of stoned elven politicians, because of the divine stupidness obtained by invoking the name of several fat, lazydragons by the names Ted, Bob, and George, who actually are the three disgruntled trees, while a pack of singing llamas flew by a maintenance tower one night on improvised wings, but although the top was heavily populated by an infestation of emus, nobody batted aneye, at least up until the point where a very stupid scientist by the name of Wayne Wyatt poked a string, as in those very, very, very tiny things that make up the things that make up the things that make up atoms, or something along those lines, and the string bounced off theceiling, an amazing endeavor, if one considers how little ceiling there would be at that level of smallness, causing several emus to bounce as well, colliding with existence's first record of flying llamas, and bringing the whole thing crashing to the ground, quite literally, though three thousand kilometers, 20 meters, 11 decimeters, 4 centimeters, 25 millimeters, 72 micrometers, 59 nanometers, 2 picometers, which is where the text editor, OpenOffice.org 1.1.1, fails to recognize the measurement as being a word, even though it is, 42 femptometers, 0.17 attometers, 97 zeptometers, and 1 yoctometer away in a direction slightly off to the side of another direstion, often called west, though how that applies to three dimensional space is beyond this one, but whatever, nothing was felt, or even heard of, being as that exactly nothing existed there, unless one is referring to the yam, which spontaneously sprouted fangs and began gnawing on a plaid sofa, though that really had nothing to do with that, at least not for another three minutes, when the yam teleported to the point of the emus, llamas, and a certain extremely stupid scientist, previously mentioned, reproduced to form an army of billions, and attacked a castle that just happened to be there, but was really the plain and simple reason for the continuing stony existence of the semi-highish observation tower and all of its strange occupants, guests, and most importantly, uninvited guests that hadn't even planned on being there in the first place, nor really even wanted to be there, causing a major disturbance in the shwartz, a rather stupid, odd, weird and pathetic result of a parody of star wars, though it was quite funny to watch, though of course, an immortal emu on a purple, crystallized lunar body of an unnamed planet containing on its surface the land of Kanata, named Therithrya, and like most of the other names around there, Therithya was just a name and meant nothing, unlike 'Kanata', which means 'place of yams' and of course two guys in a Kanatan bar did know, but did not care, instead choosing to follow the proud Kanatan tradition of getting stoned, drunk, or both, while a large group of fluffy pink dragons conspired to create plans for a new way of eating the current fanged food, yams, because after all, they may be vampiric, and the last time they had eaten a fanged food, all of the food had simple ceased to exist while moving through their intestines, bloodstream, and other stuff when the supposed producers of that food was a colossal army of flying toasters, and their toast, which the dragons had eaten after it had sprouted fangs and multiplied excessively.

Now someone make the red links go away.

No! Why don't you do it? I'm not doing it! You're a fat kid with a smelly vuvuzela nose and a face like a toasted waffle-cake sandwich or something! Yeah. --Gal an oth 15:39, 13 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

There is a large pudding. It prevents all attempts to make any effort toward any... erm, useful end. As such, the large pudding is preventing any doing of any proportions of any such thing.

Or something. But that sounds like an alien from Star Wars... I swear, toward the end, they really got uncreative. ~

*shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100914 - 00:53 (UTC)

so did ur mum, lol Gal an oth 15:46, 14 Serpeniver 2010 (UTC)

You know, I wasn't going to say anything. Pretend you hadn't, and all... but frankly, I'm insulted you'd even try to use such an insult on me. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20100915 - 00:41 (UTC)

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6653925523762761036797168421735309634101475396690291121155055897634016219942071081997461107514144646299504773057813460787389238526056202512048896874455956838683470127431141141021549312094953264384341456821204352020377016349926212582758466090086606225727557020278300891771865795303750960700771005279825181706727347941531019893672719804453659647938028334419531020279209540794082800696038592468747195676306486453023865687107755228098815700278164424988617755276970159501847324291869700871385747593431372383943951016440669669999201222656

...on second thought, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Still, the wonders of python, eh? Lets one calculate something like that out and automatically converts it to a long. Question is, does it do it right?

I'll assume it does, since I sure ain't verifying this one.

Then there was another...[edit | edit source]

i know. You've had another bad day. Then come to the Death Star canteen, for all the stars and death you needs. There's alos flying catapults. Those ones from LOTR, or as in Lord of the Rings, which is more dibs then Avatar, I mean epic but better. Avatas like all preidcatable but LOTRs better cause its real cool, like ice not as, or in a freezer, so it you...

Aaaa Aaaa Aaaa

Aaaa
Aaaa

Aaaa

Aaaa

Aaaa Aaaa

Aaaa
 Aaaa

Aaaa

HA HA HA

...·º•ø®@»

Breathe, breathe in the air
Don't be afraid to care
Leave, don't leave me
Look around, choose your own ground

Long you live and high you fly
Smiles you give and tears you cry
All you touch and all you see
All your life will ever be

Run, rabbit run
Dig your hole, forget the sun
And when at last your work is done
Turn around, time to dig another one

Long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race into an early grave

Ticking away, the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Picking around on a piece of ground in your hometown
Waiting for something or someone to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find, ten years are far behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, I thought I'd something more to say...

Home, home again
I like to be here, when I can
And when I come home, cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire

Far away, across the fields
Tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells...

------------^
-----------/***\
----------/*******\
---------/**********\
--------/*************\
-------/****************\
------/********************\

Money, get away
You get a good job with full pay and you're O.K.
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash in both hands and make a stash

New car, caviar, 4-star-day-dream
Think I'll buy me a football team

Money, get back
I'm all right, Jack, keep your hands off my stack
Money, it's a hit
Don't give me that do-goody bull$#1+

I'm in the hi-fi-delity-1st-class traveling set
And I think I'll take a Lear Jet

Money, it's a crime
Share it fairly, but don't take a slice of my pie
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today

But if you ask for a rise it's no sur-prise
They're giving none away, away, away, away, away, away, away...

Us... And them
And after all, we're only ordinary men
Me... And you
God only knows it's not what we would choose to do

Random II: Article's revenge

Hey![edit | edit source]

Well.[edit | edit source]

More maths crap.[edit | edit source]

SOMEHOW[edit | edit source]

NOR IS THIS[edit | edit source]

OR THIS[edit | edit source]

COME ON LET'S CREATE THE ULTIMATE CHAIN[edit | edit source]

HOORAY FOR CHAINS[edit | edit source]

I LIKE CHAINS[edit | edit source]

CHAINS CHAINS CHAINS[edit | edit source]

==OH DEAR==[edit | edit source]

===I THINK I BROKE THE CATEGORY SYSTEM===[edit | edit source]

====JUST FANTASTIC====[edit | edit source]

I think it's unfortunate[edit | edit source]

Welcome[edit | edit source]

Pondering On The MErits of Writing This Article...[edit | edit source]

Odd Thoughts About Contributing[edit | edit source]

Ideas[edit | edit source]

Random Section of Randomness[edit | edit source]

I never knew it's so funny[edit | edit source]

Cheeseburger?[edit | edit source]

MOAR CHEESEBURGER???[edit | edit source]

LESS CHEESEBURGER???[edit | edit source]

NONE CHEESEBURGER???[edit | edit source]

WHO??????[edit | edit source]

WHAT?????[edit | edit source]

WHERE????[edit | edit source]

WHY????[edit | edit source]

HOW????[edit | edit source]

Nope.[edit | edit source]

T3canolis' essay on love[edit | edit source]

Lines[edit | edit source]

"Spam"[edit | edit source]

Making things longer[edit | edit source]

Irony[edit | edit source]

This section doesn't contain irony[edit | edit source]

Math[edit | edit source]

Heading[edit | edit source]

A Thought[edit | edit source]

Greatest Image of All Time[edit | edit source]

As per the above rant, I have taken the liberty of extending this heading in order to make it a paragraph. Underneath it will also be a paragraph, possibly a rant about Encyclopedia Dramatica. Cause I hate those guys.[edit | edit source]

More ideas on how to make this longer...[edit | edit source]

HOLY CRAP![edit | edit source]

MOAR CONTENT[edit | edit source]

10 Reasons Why This Article is Long[edit | edit source]

Headline Text[edit | edit source]

Sub Headline Text[edit | edit source]

The Cyber hamster section[edit | edit source]

The Cyber Bear Section[edit | edit source]

Undead Cyber Bear Section[edit | edit source]

This is what Testostereich would put:[edit | edit source]

On behalf of so many who didn't get a chance to tell you this...[edit | edit source]

Hey, I would put that[edit | edit source]

That's why I put it and put "This is what Testostereich would put:[edit | edit source]

Okay, so...[edit | edit source]

Yeah, yeah and...[edit | edit source]

Also...[edit | edit source]

What?[edit | edit source]

At This Point, It All Gets a little bit silly, because we have run out of ideas, but we continue adding content merely to lengthen the article[edit | edit source]

Many Notable User's Sigs (to lengthen the article)[edit | edit source]

This is a cheesecake.[edit | edit source]

And now, a word from our sponsors.[edit | edit source]

That was actually two...[edit | edit source]

Insert random guitar solo from Music 2000 for the Playstation here[edit | edit source]

BART! Do the washing up or I'll have your guts for garters![edit | edit source]

Why you little...[edit | edit source]

An in conclusion of my attempt at doing that trick...[edit | edit source]

Longest Article Productions is sponsored by Freepages[edit | edit source]

A cool story[edit | edit source]

This is not a sub heading[edit | edit source]

This is not not a sub heading[edit | edit source]

Lying[edit | edit source]

The Worlds Longest Sentence???[edit | edit source]

This is not a run on sentence.[edit | edit source]

Now we've got all that shiznit out of the way, how about some CONTENTZ0R??[edit | edit source]

Drugs[edit | edit source]

T3KANOLEEZ WUZ HEAR!![edit | edit source]

can we edit this anymore?[edit | edit source]

Whos next?[edit | edit source]